Scolding DS's accident

Nope - absolutely not. Your one job in life is to protect your child.

Scolding and ignoring an 8 year old? Not on my watch.

I’m autistic too, with autistic children. Maturity levels can be a little lower than in neurotypical children at this age - but that’s not the point.

The issue isn’t whether the child did something wrong - he did forget, and he should have been reminded about why it was so important to close the door.

The issue is whether the OPs boyfriend reacted badly. Which he clearly did.

This continued focus on whether the child did something wrong makes it seem like you think a grown man giving the silent treatment, stomping around the house, sulking, and being passive aggressive to a child, was a totally reasonable reaction and the child deserved it. Do you think this was a good way for a grown man to act?

What are the “rules” he’s imposed for your son to get his pocket money? Why did you go along with that? Did you give your son pocket money prior to the “rules” being brought in by your partner?

Also, has your partner ever been sulky with you and given you the silent treatment? Just wondering if there’s a pattern here?

I wouldn't cope in a house where there are cats upstairs and a dog downstairs and they can only be a metre apart and doors can never be left open for a second. Way too much stress. How can an 8 year old cope with that? Can he even have friends round? Home should be sonewhereto relax Let the man and his cats live separately again.

Also being autistic doesn’t mean you can’t remember not to open or shut doors, I am autistic and never had this issue as an 8 yr old. Being autistic doesn’t mean automatically don’t tell off child for doing something wrong

Well she didn’t mention that here so it’s a bit of a drip feed if that’s the case

OP started another thread about this DP a couple of weeks ago, in which she mentions that her son is autistic. In that one her DP wanted to spend all day gaming, was “complaining” about the child asking questions, and had been resentful about making the child a sandwich while OP worked from home for a few hours.

I don’t think the child forgetting something (that he hasn’t had to do until recently) is the real issue here.

I’m not confused. Everyone on the thread said this man was unreasonable and OP shouldn’t subject her child to this. You were the only one saying that the child should have known better, and the boyfriend had a right to tell him off. You are in the wrong and you probably know it. At least, I hope you do.

I’m not sure what you mean about finding peace because this is a chat forum and I’m just engaging in a group conversation, with no mention of the peacefulness of my life!

I’m actually going to hide this thread now because I find what happened to this child too upsetting. I hope OP takes steps to ensure this never happens again.

He has ADHD. Or ASD, I can’t remember which. The OP has posted about the pet situation before.

Where did I say he deserved the silent treatment? He deserved to be scolded but no way did he deserve that, I never said that. Both mum and partner are giving examples of them both doing it so aren’t a great example.

you read my post wrong and are just annoyed you got confused. I hope you find peace.

@simsbustinoutmimi ha ha that’s not what you meant at all, you’re backpedaling!

You clearly think animals are more important than humans, and a young child who accidentally forgets a new rule deserves to be shouted at then given the silent treatment by a man who has zero right to tell him what to do. I’ve been with my partner for 9 years and he has never disciplined my kids. That’s my job.

What this child did was an accident. What the boyfriend did was deliberate and abusive.

I don’t think so. He would’ve known not to open doors of mums bedroom/ maybe toilet doors without knocking and to not leave front door lying open if he opened it presumably. 8 is young but it’s old enough to be sensible.

I was replying to OP who was discussing the pets herself

I meant “I don’t think it was a mistake (that partner scolded him)” as a lot of people are saying it’s wrong he did. Hope that helps

I think you have read my old post wrong

As opposed to mums new boyfriend, ie he’s someone who would have the right to tell off son it’s not like he’s only known him a few months. Some mums on here move in w their partner after knowing them only a few months

And adult sulking
and silent treatment? Thats not going to change red flag here.

the silent treatment is abusive behaviour and not acceptable

A brief telling off 'be more careful in future, this could set progress back'... yeah.

Sulking and silent treatment - no. This is an indicator as to how he is going to treat you in future, he's doing it to a child because he thinks he can get away with it.

I'd be outta there.

Scolding for doing something wrong is fine, but the silent treatment, stomping and passive aggressive behaviour? Major red flag🚩

I wouldn't say a partner of 3 years is a step dad type figure. Why is 'step' thrown around so easily?,

These are the house rescue cats that are terrified of your dog (a Rottweiler) and you are allergic to, oh, and your son has ADHD (and you might too).

I remember your previous thread about wanting your DP to get rid of his cats before you moved in together.

Obviously your DP giving your DS the silent treatment isn’t great. But the whole situation isn’t great.

Rehome the cats and the man.

@ellie09 tell him..
Drink your milk take your dog and ride out of town

In the post where you said it wasn't a mistake! If you can't even remember what you wrote an hour or so ago why do you expect 8 year olds to not have memory lapses?