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AIBU?

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Original poster

Scolding DS's accident

236 replies

ellie09 · 05/08/2025 21:51

Hi all

My DP moved in with me, DS (8 year old) and my dog about 2 months ago now with his 2 cats. We knew it was going to be an adjustment period as far as the pets were concerned.

At the moment, we have the dog downstairs and cats upstairs. We are slowly introducing them and they are now at the point where they can be about a metre away from each other with supervision and remain calm in each others company. We still keep them separated when we are working etc and unable to supervise, so the door downstairs remains closed.

Today, DS accidentally left the door open a little, which resulted in the dog running up the stairs. No big deal, I just ran up and got dog back downstairs.

However, DP seems to have taken it a bit too far (in my eyes). He immediately scolded DS and gave him silent treatment, stomped around the house sulking that all the work put in with the pets is now a waste as the cats will be scared etc etc.

I told DP that it wasn't a big deal, it was an accident and to just forget it, to which he said "oh I'm sure it wasnt an accident". At this point, I told him he was taking it too fad now, and gave him silent treatment back the same way he feels its ok to give DS.

AIBU or is his reaction unreasonable?

I cant stand by scolding and punishing DS for an accident and something that didnt cause any harm etc.

OP posts:
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Squishymallows · 08/08/2025 11:27

Not cool. Get rid of the partner

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 11:25

It hugely explains how many adults are low contact/ no contact with their parents.

They know they didn't care about them, put some awful new partner first, which resulted in a shit childhood.

As adults they move away or avoid the parent.
They see how little they were cared for or protected by their parent, and now feel no loyalty to them, and are happier not to have them in their lives.

Mydadsbirthday · 08/08/2025 08:20

SeagullFreeZone · 06/08/2025 11:47

Some woman can’t bear the thought of not being in a relationship. Any man - no matter how shit he is - is better than not having a man.

This. I'm so sick of reading threads like these. It's shocking how many women are like this and how many children are living in miserable or even abusive homes as a result.

Beenwhereyouareagain · 08/08/2025 03:37

simsbustinoutmimi · 05/08/2025 22:24

Nobody is saying child did it maliciously

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From @ellie09's original post:

"I told DP that it wasn't a big deal, it was an accident and to just forget it, to which he said "oh I'm sure it wasnt an accident". At this point, I told him he was taking it too fad now, and gave him silent treatment back the same way he feels its ok to give DS."

He's saying it was done on purpose and is implying the child is lying. If "D"P apologized to him, he'd still be on very thin ice with me. No one should mistreat her son; relationships become more difficult as kids grow up and this will likely be the first of many "scoldings."

As for the silent treatment, stop it from happening NOW- it's very damaging to people and it's absolutely cruel to treat an 8-year-old that way.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 08/08/2025 02:48

Have you posted about this before OP? Before moving in?

I remember a post about a woman with an autistic child, dogs, partner, cats, and the overall consensus was DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

Anyway your DP is being emotionally abusive to your child and your only priority is your child here. Get the fucker out.

Velmy · 08/08/2025 02:02

Cats are dickheads, good to have them brought down a peg or two every so often.

Tell your partner to stop being a wetwipe.

Summerbubbles · 08/08/2025 01:49

He needs to get a grip, or you need to get rid.

Having introduced several cats and kittens to three different dogs over the years, it should not be this difficult. And you are doing nobody any favours (pets included) dragging things out like this.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 08/08/2025 01:29

One word - OUT.

user1492757084 · 08/08/2025 01:22

Your partner seems unreasonable.

Is this the only time a questionable moment has occurred?

If your son apologised and resumed taking good care with the door, that is all that should have happened.

If you think continuing the relationship is wise, can you not have some high shelves, cupboard tops etc to which the cats retreat if the dog chases them. As soon as the dog follows the cats call it off and ask it to sit and behave.

The grumpy stomps and paranoid childish thinking, I could never abide, sorry.

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 01:12

Spinachpastapicker · 07/08/2025 11:58

Well quite. That poster has made herself look rather foolish. But it was just a mistake that she forgot she said that … Grin

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She dont care about her son. She cares about the cocklodher and even his pets way more. She expect’s her poor son to slot in with her selfish choices …Pathetic 🤡

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 01:09

GoldPoster · 06/08/2025 11:17

All these people on here caring more about the pets than the boy, you need to take a look at yourselves.

Count me out! Children come before pets /animal’s every time. It’s sad that most people do t think like us.

JMSA · 08/08/2025 01:05

Gosh, never mind the pets, let’s not forget that it’s an adjustment period for the child in this situation too!

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 01:03

BetweenTwoFerns · 05/08/2025 22:40

It’s remarkable that you are just talking about the hard done by cats!

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Don’t me surprise me. Most people don’t value children very much in uk . In her case she’s even valued someone else’s pets over her own child.🙄

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 01:01

ellie09 · 05/08/2025 21:58

DS already has a list of rules to follow to get his pocket money - and strikes if he misbehaves. DP is aware of these and has always followed them, but this seems to be the only time it hasn't been followed.

I am trying to keep an open mind, that he has not lived with a child before, and telling him kids do silly things by accident all the time, but not sure if what I am saying is registering.

Will be having a firm chat with him in the morning, thats for sure.

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Your the one who could with a list of rules.🙄I’ll start you of-

rule 1-
dont move random nasty men into your sons home

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:58

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:58

So you two 🤡🤡discussed the comfort of your pets . But you did think to discuss the comfort etc of your son. Only in the uk 🙄

SS need to watch family’s like yours 💯

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*did not think

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:58

ellie09 · 05/08/2025 22:36

Re. The pet situation. My dog is fine and lived with a cat previously. Albeit she is a bit hyper the first 30 seconds, then calms down.

The issue is that his cats are house cats (have been for two years) and are incredibly timid as used to living with just him. Theyve had no interaction with dogs/outside etc.

DP said he would see how it goes for the first 6 months or so, but if his cats are still as timid/scared, his aunt is willing to rehome them at her house (we are hoping it doesnt come to that, as we obviously both love our pets).

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So you two 🤡🤡discussed the comfort of your pets . But you did think to discuss the comfort etc of your son. Only in the uk 🙄

SS need to watch family’s like yours 💯

ReadingTime · 08/08/2025 00:57

Scolding, maybe ok if it was measured and proportionate.
Silent treatment to an 8yo, no fucking way. I'd get him back out.

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:55

simsbustinoutmimi · 06/08/2025 00:07

It’s keeping a door closed it’s not complicated

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and we found the cocklodger 🤡who told the poor boy of

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:54

simsbustinoutmimi · 05/08/2025 22:31

Because they (the adults) chose to live together with animals that don’t get on.

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The selfish mum chose this. Her poor son didn’t get a say and was expected to let a random
cock lodger move into he’s home…

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:51

endofthelinefinally · 06/08/2025 08:46

The child seems to be at the bottom of the list of priorities.

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Children usually are. Sad.

Victoria39 · 08/08/2025 00:50

EasyTouch · 06/08/2025 15:53

I never understand women who find men with so little to lose that they can move into women and children's homes without worrying about what they are going to do with the property they have left behind.

And if they have no abode that they are invested in enough (whether via rent or mortgage) , but the woman as a single parent has, they are not yoked.

Much less to move in a stroppy man .
Since when have men become The Prize in heterosexuality? I must move in a different timezone.

Stop moving men into your yards who find it so easy to let go the yard that you found them with.

Nobody with good intentions or sense leaves their home as a big person to live in somebody else's home that they have no legal dominion over.

At my big age, I couldn't just move in with my boyfriend unless we were going to sell up our individual gaffs to buy together.

And that would be unwise as we both have adult children, not together who we want to leave an inheritance to.

Single mothers who have by hook or crook found/retained themselves a home for their children should not be moving in grown men who either haven't got a home for themselves or who carelessly gives it up to live somewhere that their name is not on the tenancy agreement or mortgage.

Cheap arses at best. Carpetbaggers one of the worst case scenarios.

This is totally super. I agree!!! Do you write for the papers?

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 07/08/2025 19:03

simsbustinoutmimi · 06/08/2025 21:09

I’ve posted 5-6 times and this thread is pages and pages long so I don’t think so.

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Try around 20. And you keep saying the same things, and no one is agreeing with you. You have unreasonable expectations for an 8yr old.

Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 18:34

BusyExpert · 05/08/2025 22:14

Of course the boy didn’t do wrong it was an accident or mistake.
the BF needs to go I would not allow my son to be treated like that over something so minor.

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Totally this. It will get worse. I hate women who do this to there kids…

Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 18:33

Jonesboot · 07/08/2025 11:42

He's shown you who he is. The apology etc mean nothing. He'll do it again, unless you remove him from your son's home. The place where he should feel happy and safe.

This in buckets! My kids have got the same daddy. As daft as he is ill keep him thanks as he got his good points . If I ever felt the need to get rid I would never get a random bloke to move in. Like as hell my kids would like that and they come first….

Victoria39 · 07/08/2025 18:31

Ocularpatdown · 06/08/2025 13:14

I'd tell him and the cats to piss off. Your poor son doesn't deserve this hassle.

She won’t. She’s desperate for a man and her son comes last 😡

In a few year’s time she will be on here again saying she is pregnant. You can imagine how the rest of her post would go…🙄