Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much could your DP/DH do after vasectomy?

87 replies

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

OP posts:
Rainbow1612 · 05/08/2025 19:51

Everyone is different but I'm willing to bet that he is milking it slightly.
My DH had a vasectomy in October. He took it easy for a few a days but was still capable of dressing our youngest, among other things such as loading the dishwasher etc.
He was back at work (office) the following morning.

He knows how much I went through having 2 c sections,I don't think he would dare try to compare it.

Persephonegoddess · 05/08/2025 19:50

He’s being a baby and you need to give him MTFU pills

Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:48

Mumofteenandtween · 05/08/2025 18:47

I don’t know about a vasectomy but 11 hours after major abdominal surgery that led to me losing over 2.5 pints of blood and my heartbeat slowing and blood pressure falling to such a level that the midwife was muttering about intensive care, I had recovered enough to be left to look after a newborn independently.

Occasionally I think about that and think “what the fuckity fuckity fuck?!?!”

I’ve been sympathetic but I had an emergency c-section and then was expected to be up and about with a newborn so it is difficult!

It’s one rule for women and another for men I feel. And we can’t complain if it’s us in pain, just got to get on with it, but we also can’t complain if they complain and need to lay around to heal!

OP posts:
jjeoreo · 05/08/2025 19:47

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

He was absolutely fine. I think your husband may be malingering.

Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:46

NotEnoughRoom · 05/08/2025 18:46

Is your toddler particularly challenging at pyjama time? We had one that was a dream, and one that was like trying to get a cat into a wetsuit….

otherwise, I’d say he’s probably milking it?

www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/vasectomy-male-sterilisation/recovery/

@NotEnoughRoom cat in a wetsuit 😅 that made me laugh, thank you! Well one is 7 so changes herself, the 3yo isn’t that challenging, physically anyway, is more of a “no” child, so takes some pearsuasing before she comes to get dressed!

OP posts:
North87 · 05/08/2025 19:25

Dh was back at work the next day, he was doing all the usual jobs at home the same day. We went on holiday about 3 days afterwards. He was still sore for about a week or so but it didn't stop him doing anything he usually would do.

Parky04 · 05/08/2025 19:24

My DH was back in work in the afternoon and then played football 3 days later (he got smacked in the bollocks by the ball. No sympathy from me!).

Campingisnexttogodliness · 05/08/2025 19:20

We had sex the same night..
You have got yourself a true sap.

ShowOfHands · 05/08/2025 19:19

DH had a bad reaction to his including severe bruising down his thighs, swelling and an infection. He took painkillers and resumed normal activities slowly despite this. I am all for acknowledging pain and encouraging rest but it doesn't sound like your dh has mentioned any pain whatsoever and you don't mention any struggling or complications. If he's seriously unable to supervise a child for a quarter of an hour, I'd ask him if he needs further medical advice.

Catdoorman · 05/08/2025 19:15

Ex husband had his early afternoon, rested up the rest of the day, back to work the next morning. Ex fil had his first thing in the morning, went back to work driving a bus after lunch.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 05/08/2025 19:12

DH was very capable of saying "oooh" and "oouuuchhh" "it's so painful, you can't imagine". He had 24 hours of sympathy and then got both barrels.

chiefscoutsgoldaward · 05/08/2025 19:11

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2025 18:51

DH is one who never complains about anything, never had man flu, tends towards not getting the help he’s needed because he hates to make a fuss and he was in absolute agony after his vasectomy a couple of years ago. He was pale and nearly gagging with the pain a day later, still using ice packs on his undercarriage two days later.

He was over it in a few days and it’s one of the best things he ever did but we were both really surprised by how rough the recovery was and knowing he’s usually hard as nails I gave him tea and sympathy when he needed it, as he’s always done for me.

Exactly the same for DH - he was knocked for six by the pain for about 3 days - he had to have two days off, then managed a half hearted day of wfh before he was anything like human again.

I'm not 100% he would have gone through with it if he had realised how bad the recovery was going to be - I have no idea if it was worse because he wasn't expecting it!

ColdTofuSandwich · 05/08/2025 19:06

Oh piss off - with dd2 they couldn’t find a wheel chair so I had to walk to the ward about an hour after I had her.

DH had the snip - I gave him a days grace and he was fine.

Clariana · 05/08/2025 19:06

Ha, what a pathetic man!

Mine had it done at 9.30am and played a 40 over game of cricket in the afternoon.

TheLongestPlaylist · 05/08/2025 19:05

It’s like any other procedure, some have more pain/discomfort than others. My friends husband really struggled after it for about a week and he’s definitely not the type to take the piss.

Bigbadwolfmama · 05/08/2025 19:05

Mine had it done after work one day, drove home and then life carried on as normal. Back to the office the next morning.

cheesycheesy · 05/08/2025 19:03

What a wally. I could do more than that after a c section

RH1234 · 05/08/2025 19:03

I had a week off “heavy lifting” and sports.

I had it done Friday afternoon, chilled Friday afternoon, relaxed Saturday (didn’t swim with the little one). Sunday I was back to sorting the animals and tidying the house.

By Monday was normal activities (except heavy lifting as advised).

Some men may have different experiences, but I couldn’t just sit there, so just carried on, albeit slower.

MinnieMountain · 05/08/2025 19:02

Mine didn’t cycle for a week afterwards. He was back working the same afternoon (contractor with a desk job, so no sick pay).

JackGrealishsBobbySocks · 05/08/2025 19:01

Mine was a bit out of it for 48hrs. He had really significant bruising though and had to take codeine. I think a few days of rest is OK tbh. If his usual work life is exhausting or heavy, it might all be catching up with him if he has had to rest, the way people always tend to fall sick when they have paid leave

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/08/2025 18:58

What’s he normally like?

If he’s normally a stoic and doesn’t make a fuss, I’d believe him. If he’s normally someone taking to his bed for a week because he sneezed once, then I wouldn’t.

But my DH was fine after his.

Hollietree · 05/08/2025 18:58

I just had a minor procedure under general anaesthetic and went to work the next day. My husband had the snip and was a little sore for 2-3 days after but he was actively hands on with the kids, cooking etc. just couldn’t go to the gym for a few days.

I would tongue in cheek tell him that you must immediately drive him back to the clinic, as if he is unable to lift a finger after 48 hours then the procedure must have gone horribly wrong and he needs to be checked over.

JoshLymanSwagger · 05/08/2025 18:53

Just dump the 3yo on the sofa with the incapacitated man-child, bluey and some ice cream.

If they survive the 20 mins it will take you to shower, you can put one to bed and mock the other one by drinking his beer.

Tiswa · 05/08/2025 18:52

Yep it is far less invasive than a c section and I was pretty much up and changing nappies within 24 hours so he needs to get a grip

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2025 18:51

DH is one who never complains about anything, never had man flu, tends towards not getting the help he’s needed because he hates to make a fuss and he was in absolute agony after his vasectomy a couple of years ago. He was pale and nearly gagging with the pain a day later, still using ice packs on his undercarriage two days later.

He was over it in a few days and it’s one of the best things he ever did but we were both really surprised by how rough the recovery was and knowing he’s usually hard as nails I gave him tea and sympathy when he needed it, as he’s always done for me.