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Original poster

How much could your DP/DH do after vasectomy?

87 replies

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

OP posts:
SpiritAdder · 05/08/2025 21:39

My DH took 3 days before he wasn’t constantly sore and in pain. I think it depends on the skill of the surgeon, how much they cut out, and age of the husband- mine was pushing 40 and the older you are the slower you heal.

Maray1967 · 05/08/2025 21:38

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:54

He’s the type that catches a cold/bug off me or the kids and is WAY worse.

Show quote history

Tell him he’s milking it and it stops now. Those of us who’ve had a cs and then got on with babycare know how ridiculous he’s being.

triballeader · 05/08/2025 21:38

Mine was incapacitated. I could also understand why as in his case he was badly bruised and very swollen. Had to have supportive dressings and reassessment from urology. He was the exception to the general rule most men are absolutely fine.
It took three days before he could sit down let alone think of going back to work. he has a high pain threshold too.

Pricelessadvice · 05/08/2025 21:37

Women have C sections and are expected to be pretty much up and about and looking after a baby within a few hours!
Tell him to get a grip.

MrsMoastyToasty · 05/08/2025 21:35

DH was off for a week and didn't do much apart from mope about in the dressing gown of doom.
However there were mitigating circumstances as his wasn't straightforward due to scar tissue from a previous surgery in that area .

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 05/08/2025 21:34

DH went to the supermarket on the way home from
his!
It was tender for a few days but it didn’t stop him doing anything.

Sounds like he’s trying it on tbh.

hollyjolly12 · 05/08/2025 21:32

My DH drove himself to and from the hospital and went back to work the next day!

HansHolbein · 05/08/2025 21:31

Back to work and normal activities the next my day.

Zanoni · 05/08/2025 21:30

My husband had it done last year, he actually got an infection and one of his balls swelled up to the size of a large apple. He had the weekend to recover anyway but it didn’t stop him going about his life at home pretty much straight away. He just took paracetamol and antibiotics for the infection.
Your husband is milking it, like another poster said, women are expected to wake up every 90 minutes and act like nothing drastic has happened within an hour of growing a human and giving birth.

Doggymummar · 05/08/2025 21:08

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

Mine was back WFH the second day. Didn't commute till day three.

greenmarsupial · 05/08/2025 21:06

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2025 18:51

DH is one who never complains about anything, never had man flu, tends towards not getting the help he’s needed because he hates to make a fuss and he was in absolute agony after his vasectomy a couple of years ago. He was pale and nearly gagging with the pain a day later, still using ice packs on his undercarriage two days later.

He was over it in a few days and it’s one of the best things he ever did but we were both really surprised by how rough the recovery was and knowing he’s usually hard as nails I gave him tea and sympathy when he needed it, as he’s always done for me.

Yes, mine was the same as this. Really never makes a fuss and is never I’ll (I always think of the film ‘Unbreakable’) but the vasectomy really knocked him for six. He was ok after a few days though.

If your DH is normally a wimp then he might be fine but if not then give him the benefit of the doubt. Still massively unfair how much women are expected to do after birth!

Livpool · 05/08/2025 20:52

He is taking the piss. My DH didn’t have keyhole and was ok but in pain the next day. I had an EMCS (heart need up every unwell) and had to take care of DS in hospital for a couple of days until they realised how unwell I was

Timeforabitofpeace · 05/08/2025 20:15

3 days rest then back to it.

Laura95167 · 05/08/2025 20:13

I bet 48hrs after having DC you changed their little onesies...

MsNevermore · 05/08/2025 20:12

I distinctly remember my dad coming home after his - back when it was a bit more invasive than it is these days.
He was hobbling about and not doing much for the first day, but he played a full 90-mins of 11-a-side football 3 days after it.

Ponderingwindow · 05/08/2025 20:11

My husbands doctor made it pretty clear that the men who have complications are the ones who don’t follow the aftercare instructions. He was told to sit and do absolutely nothing for 3 days and that is precisely what he did. Excellent recovery with no problems.

it may all be a giant conspiracy, but I’m hardly going to begrudge someone who has genital surgery a few days on the sofa.

HoneyHoneyHowYouThrillMe · 05/08/2025 20:11

Much sympathy to the men that have really suffered.

I don't get the sense from the OP that this particular man is a particularly stoic character, since if he was, OP would be much more likely to give him the benefit of the doubt and probably wouldn't be asking the question!

Ah yes, that's been confirmed above.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 05/08/2025 20:11

@Hey12345 my hubby had a vasectomy 40 years ago. not keyhole! the weather that day was horrendous and buses were cancelled right, left and centre, so i volunteered to go and do a night shift because it was a straight run on a main road in the car (nurse). he looked after the baby and the older 4 year old. the next day he went off shooting pigeons!! nothing wrong with your dh apart from a bit of lazy bastarditis!!!

catsand · 05/08/2025 20:08

He’s being ridiculous. DH took paracetamol and carried on as normal.

BruFord · 05/08/2025 19:59

My DH lay on the sofa for three days with ice packs on his nether regions and couldn’t do anything, apparently. I suspect that he was milking it.

TheLongestPlaylist · 05/08/2025 19:57

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:48

I’ve been sympathetic but I had an emergency c-section and then was expected to be up and about with a newborn so it is difficult!

It’s one rule for women and another for men I feel. And we can’t complain if it’s us in pain, just got to get on with it, but we also can’t complain if they complain and need to lay around to heal!

Show quote history

It sounds like you are in a crap relationship with a crap man. Why stay with a man that didn’t step up when you had just had a baby? Why can’t you complain if you’re in pain? If I tell my partner I’m in pain, he does what he can to make my life easier. It sounds like you think he is milking it so that he can be lazy and leave you to do everything, do you want to spend your life in that relationship. What a waste of your life.

unicornpower · 05/08/2025 19:54

Mine honestly had a terrible time he had two infections and the second one hospitalised him for a week, it’s rare but it was horrible. He may be milking it but also, keep an eye on it!

Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:54

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/08/2025 18:58

What’s he normally like?

If he’s normally a stoic and doesn’t make a fuss, I’d believe him. If he’s normally someone taking to his bed for a week because he sneezed once, then I wouldn’t.

But my DH was fine after his.

He’s the type that catches a cold/bug off me or the kids and is WAY worse.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 19:52

ellie09 · 05/08/2025 18:50

Of course he is ok.

Us females endure giving birth for hours on end, then are straight back to it caring for them whilst our holes have been ripped open, or some of us have had major surgery (c section).

I had a LLETZ where my cervix was burnt off which is more invasive that a vasectomy, and I rested the rest of the day, then was back to normal activities, e.g. work, chores, walking the dog etc the following morning! Yes, while I was heavy bleeding and cramping

Tell him to get a life. If this was my DP he would be getting a bollocking.

@ellie09 same. I had LLETZ 4 years ago, also cold coagulation before that, and an emergency c-section. I’ve kept quiet and have been supportive and sympathetic, but it’s been well over 24 hours now and I wonder how much longer he needs to lay around and heal!

OP posts: