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Original poster

How much could your DP/DH do after vasectomy?

87 replies

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

OP posts:
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CurlewKate · 02/04/2026 06:55

My brother was mostly fine so long as he was careful-until his 3 year old
jumped into his lap feet first with shoes on. That set him back a bit. Then his 6 year old
told the neighbours that her daddy had been castrated (farming family). That set him back a bit too…

Dancingintherain09 · 30/03/2026 22:13

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 18:41

DH had a vasectomy yesterday early afternoon. The non-invasive one (keyhole), we were in an out within an hour with the procedure itself only taking 15mins.

Yesterday he rested and I happily did everything with our children. Today he spent the whole day resting again which is fine, (although spent on his phone mostly), but this evening I asked if he could put pyjamas on our 3yo so I could shower because I stink (and could do with 5mins alone time) after a busy day at the park / on bikes / cooking with children, and he said he couldn’t.

Is this normal? How were your DP / DH’s after the non-invasive vasectomy?

Geeze, my husband went back to work the next day on paracetamol. He still bathed our then 8 month old and did bed time routine etc.He ended up having to have it redone as it failed, second time he had it done on the Thursday and went back to work on the Monday. He said second time was more painful, but again didn't stop him helping with DS he just took some painkillers and got on with it.

Whammyyammy · 06/08/2025 14:06

Mine waa fine within a few hours. He came home and rested for a bit, but didn't feel any pain or restriction afterwards luckily

CurlewKate · 06/08/2025 14:03

My brother was fine-until his 4 year old jumped into his lap with shoes on. That set him back a bit…..

Original poster
Hey12345 · 06/08/2025 13:53

Tiswa · 06/08/2025 13:45

Yes sadly I thought that

have you said that to him?

Show quote history

I have subtly done that yesterday, just told me after I had the c-sections I wasn’t able to lay around and do nothing, he obviously didn’t say anything back!

OP posts:
exasperatedflatmate · 06/08/2025 13:48

My husband cycled to work the next day!

Tiswa · 06/08/2025 13:45

Hey12345 · 06/08/2025 12:45

@Tiswa well he wasn’t useless after my c-sections, but also didn’t do absolutely everything so I could lay in bed / sofa all day and rest. It was still me doing most of the cleaning, everything but take the bins out, waking in night for feeds and I remember being in excruciating pain last time with my back, so much that it kept me up in the night. Also would play on the floor with older DC even a couple of days after (had to go on all fours and use a table or sofa to stand up though!)

Show quote history

Yes sadly I thought that

have you said that to him?

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 06/08/2025 12:50

What a pathetic man baby.

I’d go out for a coffee, tell him to man the fuck up and look after his kids. He’s had the snip not been castrated. Although tell him if he doesn’t get a grip it could be arranged.

Original poster
Hey12345 · 06/08/2025 12:45

Tiswa · 06/08/2025 11:14

What was he like after your c sections? Because the way you describe him is not great and actually makes me feel angry on your behalf

@Tiswa well he wasn’t useless after my c-sections, but also didn’t do absolutely everything so I could lay in bed / sofa all day and rest. It was still me doing most of the cleaning, everything but take the bins out, waking in night for feeds and I remember being in excruciating pain last time with my back, so much that it kept me up in the night. Also would play on the floor with older DC even a couple of days after (had to go on all fours and use a table or sofa to stand up though!)

OP posts:
Tiswa · 06/08/2025 11:14

What was he like after your c sections? Because the way you describe him is not great and actually makes me feel angry on your behalf

Original poster
Hey12345 · 06/08/2025 07:53

Well I’ll see how he is this afternoon as it’ll be 48 hours later. I drove him to his appointment and back home (which was 2 hours each way), I’ve done everything with the kids on the first night and he didn’t have to lift a finger. He had a lie in yesterday, and stayed in his pyjamas all day lounging on the sofa / bed watching things on his phone. When I asked if he could change our toddler into pyjamas and he said he couldn’t I was a bit skeptical, because it definitely wasn’t the case after my c-sections! And she isn’t physically challenging, but needs lots of verbal prompts and pearsuasing (which I just wanted a little break from as I had battled with her for the whole day and afternoon prior!) Both DC’s have been arguing a lot lately and it’s been a bit stressful 😅

He doesn’t seem to be in much pain as occasionally he gets up from the sofa fine, walks ok, but then does some time “aaaah” and “oooooh” and limps. He hasn’t been using ice packs, does medicate occasionally with paracetamol and ibuprofen. Has some bruising but nothing major. Has been on his phone mostly and ignoring me and the children when we talk so I said to him nothing was wrong with his hearing so he could actually mentally occupy the children, doesn’t have to run around and play with them.

Youngest was shouting ‘Dad’ this morning at 6am and he said he couldn’t go to her because of his ‘balls’ ok sometimes you’re more stiff or in pain in the mornings. But we’ll see how he is today!

OP posts:
SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 05/08/2025 23:48

I was a bit sore after mine, but after one day I was moving without any real discomfort, after two days I was back to normal, even with one of the key hole incisions not healing particularly well.

BoldBee · 05/08/2025 23:41

My husband rested on the day of the procedure, but is very active and laid a decking area the day after with no issues!

Not too dissimilar to me, giving birth and being home from the hospital within 8hrs and getting on with life with a new born and toddler.

You know your body and your partner and when they need to rest for recovery, if your gut feeling is that he's taking the mick, he probably is.

SpiritAdder · 05/08/2025 23:32

Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 22:02

@Pricelessadvice is correct. First c-section for me (emergency) I did have some more help at the hospital, nurses walking me to the toilet / shower after being admitted to the ward. I was in hospital for 48 hours. My second I was told to walk by myself to the toilet and shower, literally an hour after the section (!!!) and I was discharged in 24 hours! And then had complications with high blood pressure / bradycardia and passed from GP to community midwife to the maternity ward for them to say go to the GP! It was awful and one of the reasons DH opted for vasectomy because I definitely don’t want to go through that again. I did look into me having my “tubes tied” but it’s much more invasive and I obviously can’t take time off being a mother / housewife (I also work too btw!).

Show quote history

That is horrific. I wasn’t saying she was wrong btw, just that the expectation where you both were to be up and about within hours is totally unrealistic and unreasonable and shouldn’t be held as a standard for anyone.

BernardButlersBra · 05/08/2025 22:41

Everything he normally could 🙄.

I had a c section with twins and lots of swelling so couldn't walk for weeks. Magically l was left to care for them that night as my husband couldn't stay and stay weren't very proactive or reactive. So my husband knew there was no chance of him milking such a minor procedure

Ladychatterly86 · 05/08/2025 22:40

I think he is perhaps milking it. Unless there is some kind of infection or something has clearly gone wrong? Husband had his in the afternoon. Came home and was on the sofa for a few hours. Then was at work the next day ( job which involves using machinery etc) He did tell EVERYONE about his snip he's a massive ADHD over sharer.

bellamorgan · 05/08/2025 22:21

We went shopping straight after, he drove home, he was back to work the next day and we had sex on day 3.

Unless his looking overly bruised and wanting ice packs and meds I’d say his milking it. Because if he truly hurt he would be doing things to help it rather than just playing in his phone on the sofa.

KnickerlessFlannel · 05/08/2025 22:20

Is your child quite wriggly or do they just need support/a bit of verbal prompting. DH did avoid situations with the kids where they's be likely to be hitting/kicking out (play fighting type stuff basically and also picking up dd as her feet kick out when she's being carried). It wasn't that he couldn't lift her as such, but he wanted to protect his scar.

BFhelp2024 · 05/08/2025 22:17

I walked almost 2km the day after my c-section (LO was in NICU and wheelchairs were not available), I’m sure he can manage some PJs!

Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 22:02

SpiritAdder · 05/08/2025 21:41

Where is this? I had vaginal births and that was not at all the case. I can’t imagine such an expectation after a cs!! I do believe you btw, but I do think that’s like a race to the bottom as such an expectation is ridiculous and not something to hold up as a good example. People should not be pushing themselves when in pain and recovering.

Show quote history

@Pricelessadvice is correct. First c-section for me (emergency) I did have some more help at the hospital, nurses walking me to the toilet / shower after being admitted to the ward. I was in hospital for 48 hours. My second I was told to walk by myself to the toilet and shower, literally an hour after the section (!!!) and I was discharged in 24 hours! And then had complications with high blood pressure / bradycardia and passed from GP to community midwife to the maternity ward for them to say go to the GP! It was awful and one of the reasons DH opted for vasectomy because I definitely don’t want to go through that again. I did look into me having my “tubes tied” but it’s much more invasive and I obviously can’t take time off being a mother / housewife (I also work too btw!).

OP posts:
TheLongestPlaylist · 05/08/2025 21:56

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2025 21:46

So? That’s obviously not ideal either.

Show quote history

Exactly. I cared for our newborns because I wanted to and I had the milk, it’s a bit different to having a vasectomy. My partner did basically everything apart from feeding because he’s not a useless twat. I have no time for useless men, but if my partner said he was too unwell to do stuff I’d believe him. To all the women moaning about useless men milking it who don’t believe their partners because they take the piss, get rid of them. No point complaining and feeling part of a club with other women who also have useless partners that take the piss but doing fuck all about it.

Original poster
Hey12345 · 05/08/2025 21:52

Laura95167 · 05/08/2025 20:13

I bet 48hrs after having DC you changed their little onesies...

Even less than that to be honest! Emergency c-section with first and she had terrible reflux and a lactose interesting so vomited all 6 of her onesies on the second night in hospital, I changed her each time! Elective c-section with second and I was home after 24 hours, definitely changing onesies and nappies and not laying around, I just couldn’t and wouldn’t.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2025 21:46

neverbeenskiing · 05/08/2025 21:43

And yet women have to care for a newborn baby immediately after giving birth.

Show quote history

So? That’s obviously not ideal either.

neverbeenskiing · 05/08/2025 21:43

Ponderingwindow · 05/08/2025 20:11

My husbands doctor made it pretty clear that the men who have complications are the ones who don’t follow the aftercare instructions. He was told to sit and do absolutely nothing for 3 days and that is precisely what he did. Excellent recovery with no problems.

it may all be a giant conspiracy, but I’m hardly going to begrudge someone who has genital surgery a few days on the sofa.

And yet women have to care for a newborn baby immediately after giving birth.

SpiritAdder · 05/08/2025 21:41

Pricelessadvice · 05/08/2025 21:37

Women have C sections and are expected to be pretty much up and about and looking after a baby within a few hours!
Tell him to get a grip.

Where is this? I had vaginal births and that was not at all the case. I can’t imagine such an expectation after a cs!! I do believe you btw, but I do think that’s like a race to the bottom as such an expectation is ridiculous and not something to hold up as a good example. People should not be pushing themselves when in pain and recovering.