Toddler doesn’t like hugs

No, lucky you! 🤣🤦♀️ I guess it’s like curly hair or straight hair, you always want what you haven’t got 🤣

My 21 year old Dd1 has always been like this, it is hard when you're a cuddly tactile person yourself not to take offence a little, but she shows affection and love in her own ways and I've learnt to accept that it's just the way she is.

I’ve huggers and one that has never liked them. Tbh I’m not a hugger only for my kids and hubby 🙈. She sounds like my daughter she was never a hugger she is now 16 and still not a hugger. And actually she’s already my best friend, we are very close despite only being able to count on one hand the amount of times we’ve hugged 🙈😂. In fact she once wrote a Mother’s Day poem at school for me when she was about 8 and one line was “I love how you don’t give me hugs” the teacher if they didn’t know me well and didn’t know her so well would have thought she was a neglected child 🙈😂. So she will be grateful you respecting her hugging boundaries. Like I say I’m not a hugger and I know at 39 it kills my mum because she’s a hugger she’s always there when I pop in and can see in her face she is longing for me to just give her a hug and I just walk past her 🤷🏻♀️ some people are huggers others are not. I can imagine it hurts though.

On the opposite of this, my 2.5 DD will not stop hugging or touching me, like EVER. I can’t leave a room, cook, clean or even go to the toilet (she’ll even come in and sit on my lap whilst I’m trying to do my business) without her clinging to my leg and wanting to be picked up. I do love her cuddles and know it’s not forever and I’ll miss them one day but at the same time… I’m the definition of touched out by the end of the day.

I’m more like your DD myself and like physical affection on my terms, so it’s been a big learning curve to learn how to parent in a way that’s opposite to my instincts. But I think I’m all the better a mum for it as it pushes me outside of my comfort zone and to get creative in our interactions for both our benefits.

It may feel disheartening sometimes but it’s the same for you. You have a DD who challenges you to see the world differently and connect in different ways. It’ll benefit your relationship no end in the future.

Don’t know if I buy it but nursery say girls are less affectionate (we have 2 girls). Our DD is nearly 4 and only in the last few months got properly affectionate. The more you want the less they’ll give I think though!

One of my dcs was like this. Once we picked up on it we taught her it was absolutely fine and she could change her mind at any time if she wanted.
She would often come and sit on our laps but didn't like arms around her or siblings leaning on her.
As she got older she started wanting the odd hug, and if she was upset I would ask her if she wanted a hug, it was about 50/50.

She was able to show her love in different ways such as making things for us with crafts, little notes and cards.

The main thing is to allow her the space without shaming her.

My younger daughter was like that until she was 4, then she became really cuddly. I would agree with the PPs' advice - don't force it, learn how she likes to show affection and take your cues from her.

My DD went through a phase of refusing hugs from everyone. We all respected that. She eventually forgot and is back to being affectionate. I would just give her the space she is requesting and let her come around in her own time. I think it’s healthy for kids to work out boundaries and seeing that respected is really empowering for them.

One of my neices was like this. We just respected her choices-which was sooo hard! We used to sit with her, close but not touching, offer to share snacks- but incredibly low key, letting her get on with it. When she went to school she slowly changed, and now at 7 up for cuddles-but still on her terms!

I can understand feeling sad about it but i agree you have to connect with them how they want to be connected with.

Id buy a great book called Don't Hug Doug and help your daughter to know its completely acceptable for her to decide what happens to her body

You learn to show affection in a way that works for them. You don’t need hugs to show your love.

Never forced affection on my children and never will - they'll show love their own way.