Toddler doesn’t like hugs

Ds2 was like this, especially as a baby, and especially with me. He'd go rigid and arch away from me. It was distressing.

In his teens when most boys won't go near their mothers, he became the cuddliest person and now as a young adult, gives the best hugs ever as if his hug is radiating good vibes into your body.

My daughter is the same and has just been diagnosed with autism. She’s 9 now and I have to let her come to me for hugs xx

I think not wanting to be hugged could be a sign of sensory issues, other signs could be clothing feeling too tight or restrictive, disliking non-bland food or foods with certain textures, preferring to be away from bright lights, hating loud sounds (such as hoovers or hand-dryers) etc. but it equally could be nothing to do with sensory issues. If there are no other sensory issues present then she may grow out of it.
Sensory issues usually are a factor of Autism or ADHD but not always.
It’s not easy waiting to see what happens as they grow older and I found it very painful personally to accept the lack of hugs but my DC has found their own way to show love and I’ve learnt to accept it now.

I am not a hugger and never have been. I like my own space and have always found them pointless. They are just something that increase your chances of getting sick.

I am affectionate I just show it in different ways. I can also be touched and hugged it just does nothing for me.

the quickest way for me to loose affection with someone is when they force hugs on me. It may be time to take a step back and let your daughter come to you when/ if she wants to.

I didn’t state that one trait can mean ASD. You asked if anyone else had dealt with this, so I responded. With my son it became apparent his dislike of cuddles/touch was part of his ASD

Well, you've been posting on old threads about SEN asking for updates on how things turned out for the children the threads are about, so presumably you have some concerns that you aren't mentioning on this thread?

I'm not autistic, my youngest son is and he loves cuddles.

I am 47 and my mum always joked that even as a baby I didn't like to be picked up and hugged and if someone hugs me unexpectedly I will physically go stiff and just stand there. If I want a hug or if you ask me for a hug that's fine I can psych myself up for it.

I can give my children hugs but my middle son is like me and only likes hugs on his terms.

My partner is a hugger so he will say to me I need a hug and I'll happily give him a hug just don't grab me and hug me. My sister in law does it and she has been with my brother 30 yrs so it's not as if she doesn't know.

My son wasn’t overly cuddly as a toddler, I think he was just too busy playing and exploring and didn’t want to sit around hugging. Fast forward a few years and I literally can’t peel him off, he’s constantly draped all over me.

What's her language development like OP? Do you have any other concerns?

My DS2 has never liked physical touch, we’re currently going through ASD assessments

Strong willed children are a challenge... and an opportunity. Every small thing that shows she loves you will be a massive thing for you, whereas another mum out there who has the clingy kid who won't ever get off them will find themselves all touched out and struggling in a different way.

But when she's a teenager and adult, you know she won't be afraid to say no, to voice her opinion, she won't do things just to not cause conflict.

In the meantime we need to hold on for dear life... because this is a roller coaster ride! And our young, determined, oppinionated daughters are driving it!

Have we got the same daughter? 😄 🤣 my DD is now 3, and in the last two weeks has had a massive change with me. She wants to hold my hand, cuddle, giving me kisses all the time, wants to even moisturise my face even 🤣
Before she would growl, run away, wipe kisses off, scream if anyone didn't listen while being silly with her (her brother for one).

BUT... I went wjth it. She said no. I backed her up. Because consent it important, yes I am talking to my kids about it. But also, when she growled at me I just remembered that she will one day be a strong individual who won't people please like I did, and I am already so incredible proud of her.

Today a friendly shop worker who had been helping us asked if he could be her friend and put a hand out to highfive. She firmly said no, turned and walked, I mean she strutted, away very proud of herself. I sometimes do get a little embarrassed, but this will all be for her benefit one day 😄 🤣 she's the kindest, sweetest person with her big brother and teddies. He is a labrador, constantly touching me, she is my cat and I love it.

I've hated being hugged all my life., I can just about deal with it if I think that the other person needs to initiate the hug, but otherwise - nooo!

Oh my eldest (and to a certain extent due to copying, his little brother)

He was not a hugger. BUT, as he approached teen-hood, he became a pat-er (just comes up, says 'pat pat' and pats my arm/shoulder), and an occasional leaner (against me on the sofa). He's 14 and will occasionally hug me now, but it's generally a side hug rather than a full on proper hug (and he's a good 4 inches taller than me, so perhaps it's that he doesn't feel muffled by it any more)

My youngest as a young tween started demanding hugs, and bed-time face-strokes, but it's always entirely on his terms.

My eldest DD was not a hugger…as a baby i would feed her then when she had enough would stretch out her arms and legs as if to say…”right…enough…I’ve had my milk…get off me!” and grouch until I put her down! I was gutted. She was not remotely interested in cuddles. She’s now 10 and loves a cuddle …initiates them frequently and will snuggle in beside me on the sofa. She started doing this around 7 or 8. My second DD was a koala the minute she was born so I got my fix of baby hugs in the end.
she may well come around to it when she’s older. I can sympathise though! I remember being really upset at the time