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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious that my neighbour ‘borrowed’ my garden furniture for her BBQ?

238 replies

2coolec · 05/08/2025 17:37

Went away for the weekend, came back Monday afternoon to find our patio table, four chairs, and parasol in next door’s garden.

Turns out she’d had a BBQ on Sunday and “thought we wouldn’t mind” if she borrowed them. Was “going to return it”. Only I found out because by Monday evening it was still all sat there and I saw her teenage son and his mates hanging out on my furniture.

No note. No text. Just helped herself. I wouldn’t even have known if I hadn’t looked over the fence.

I’m honestly livid. It’s not a small thing to borrow and she didn’t even ask. What if it had got damaged? Or gone missing?

AIBU to think this is beyond cheeky and actually borderline theft?

OP posts:
LillyPJ · 05/08/2025 22:31

AffableApple · 05/08/2025 22:05

Anyone asked why the OP minds as they clearly weren't using it at that moment yet?

Because it's OP's property. Do you let somebody 'use' your house while you're not in it? It doesn't matter that you're not using something at the time - it's still yours and not free for anybody else to use.

frugalkitty · 05/08/2025 22:30

This happened to us about 15 years ago! Went away in the summer and after we got back our then neighbour said they'd borrowed our patio furniture while we were away. They'd gone over the fence (4ft) to get it. I thought it was proper cheeky, and would happily have said fine had they asked but what did annoy me when I thought about it was that he was the kind of neighbour who was lovely but would have gone nuts if we'd done that to them!

LillyPJ · 05/08/2025 22:28

I'd be flabbergasted and furious. That's beyond CF.

Thunderpants88 · 05/08/2025 22:22

If my neighbours asked I would have said no bother.

However we lent a 14 man gazebo to our neighbours and it blew away. They replaced it with a 6 man spindly rubbish broken one. Very awkward. We let it go and took it as a lesson learnt. Now if we lend something out we say “happy to lend but if you break it you replace it-like for like”

your neighbour didn’t ask. So very very rude

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 22:19

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 21:05

Let me guess…. Anyone post about not being able to afford a holiday and feeling really low about it, you pipe up with “think of famine victims and that should make you feel better about it” or words to that effect?

Show quote history

Actually I'm disabled and dying of a chronic disease. I have not "been on holiday" for more than a decade and can't really fathom people getting bent out of shape over such minor infractions. It strikes me as mundane, sad and missing out in life. Also deeply dull.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 05/08/2025 22:16

I have lovely neighbours and we all get on very well. I’d happily lend them garden furniture if they asked. I’m trying to imagine a situation where they didn’t ask. It would have to be a very far fetched situation with me being completely uncontactable and them having some sort of an emergency, in which case I’d be absolutely fine with it. Your neighbour is massively cheeky. Did they give a reason for not asking?

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 22:13

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 21:05

Let me guess…. Anyone post about not being able to afford a holiday and feeling really low about it, you pipe up with “think of famine victims and that should make you feel better about it” or words to that effect?

Show quote history

run a search on my user name if you like

JHound · 05/08/2025 22:06

This is bang out of order and I would let her know next time she enters my property and takes my goods I am calling the police.

AffableApple · 05/08/2025 22:05

Anyone asked why the OP minds as they clearly weren't using it at that moment yet?

BlankBlankBlank14 · 05/08/2025 21:58

WearyAuldWumman · 05/08/2025 18:48

Our neighbours borrowed our actual patio after we moved out and the house was empty...They'd obviously had a party: cigarette ends and beer cans were everywhere.

You do get some CFs in this world.

I thought initially they’d dig you patio up and relaid it in their garden 🤣

WearyAuldWumman · 05/08/2025 21:49

MrsMillyFluff · 05/08/2025 17:46

I remember years ago, we were away with dds for the weekend. When we came back our external fence was missing and there was a nice newly built shed in our old neighbours garden!! Yes, they'd nicked our fence.( Bit of a rough area) Their reasoning? " Oh, we thought you were away for a week!" 🤔😂

Was your fence replaced?

MyDeftDuck · 05/08/2025 21:42

MrsMillyFluff · 05/08/2025 17:46

I remember years ago, we were away with dds for the weekend. When we came back our external fence was missing and there was a nice newly built shed in our old neighbours garden!! Yes, they'd nicked our fence.( Bit of a rough area) Their reasoning? " Oh, we thought you were away for a week!" 🤔😂

So did they think a new fence would miraculously ‘grow’ before you got home??

Emma6cat · 05/08/2025 21:41

Did they trespass? That is bloody cheeky.

ManchesterLu · 05/08/2025 21:32

If you get along well enough for them to borrow things, they would surely have a way to contact you to ask. I'd be fuming if my neighbours had been into my garden and taken things without asking. And then even worse that they hadn't even bothered to put the things back!

TheFunDog · 05/08/2025 21:18

Not ok... At all.

noodlebugz · 05/08/2025 21:12

I think I’d take them back saying you can’t just take peoples things a bit in the manner I say it to me 3 year old. After all that’s about the level her manners are at.
Total CF!

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 21:09

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 21:05

Let me guess…. Anyone post about not being able to afford a holiday and feeling really low about it, you pipe up with “think of famine victims and that should make you feel better about it” or words to that effect?

Show quote history

As someone who hasn't been able to afford a holiday in nearly a decade, I concur with you @Awaywiththegnomes

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 21:08

It's theft. I'd have reported to police.
The fact that she returned it doesn't mean it was theft in the first place, I'd have lost my shit.

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 21:05

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 20:54

Did anyone die in the process of borrowing garden furniture?
Were any plants ruined?
did the son and his friends piss on the cushions?

No to all of the above?

Let me guess…. Anyone post about not being able to afford a holiday and feeling really low about it, you pipe up with “think of famine victims and that should make you feel better about it” or words to that effect?

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 20:54

Did anyone die in the process of borrowing garden furniture?
Were any plants ruined?
did the son and his friends piss on the cushions?

No to all of the above?

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 20:54

CurlewKate · 05/08/2025 18:59

No point in this really-if you mind, you mind. I wouldn’t mind! People are different.

The fact you wouldn’t mind @CurlewKate … does that mean you’d do the same under the assumption that others too wouldn’t mind?

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 20:52

TheSaltedCaramelPath · 05/08/2025 20:21

I would make them squirm - I would say we have a crime reference number, as Imhad to report to the police that our garden furniture had been stolen and “other neighbours are checking their Ring doorbells for any footage” …

So you’d bluff @TheSaltedCaramelPath ? Or would you actually report?

Awaywiththegnomes · 05/08/2025 20:50

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/08/2025 20:42

When we were away on holiday our neighbours had a problem with their hot water. They had a key (for emergencies only) and admitted that they'd all come over (4 of them) and had baths and showers for a couple of days. I was Shock literally speechless.

what made them admit it?

if they admitted it, I can’t understand why they didn’t just ask?
surely you noticed as soon as you returned… unless they seriously covered their tracks!

crystalmamma · 05/08/2025 20:48

I absolutely know my neighbours wouldn’t mind as we are good friends (they even have a key to my house) but I would still just drop a text to ask - Royal CF’s to take without asking.

AtWitsEnd21 · 05/08/2025 20:44

Absolute CF! I’m very friendly with my neighbours and we would never do this to each other so I don’t think the nature of the relationship is of any relevance