To ask the police for details about me? (TW: child SA)

I’m sorry you had to explain that. This was an insensitive and uninformed comment by this poster.

of course you absolutely have your reasons and have every right to explore this information about your early life.

subject access request to police would be a good place to start , plus the same to the local authority (children’s services) where you lived at the time / where the police enquiry took place. They may have record of this as children’s services should have been informed (not 100% sure of this , it depends on the date and the safeguarding processes in place at that time).

I wish you well OP. It’s a hard road but I completely understand why you are seeking these answers xx

When I contacted SS I had to work out which county it was and contact them, not the local office. A lot of them have digitised their records and they only go back so far. Its the same with the police. Centralised record keeping is fairly new, in the grand scheme of things.

I would contact the police from the area where it happened and do an SAR request make sure you let them know about the surname. They'll ask for some ID, they normally have to process it in 28 days, I'm not sure how it works with police but normally they have to redact any 3rd person information. You can also do one with SS if you think they had any involvement and you can do one with your school for your old school files if you think they had anything to do with it. It's pretty simple process and you should be able to find the forms online on their website. If not I'd just call them and ask how to do it.

I've had therapy and it can only do so much to help you process some memories, and it doesn't answer questions you have about other peoples behaviour or motives.
To access my medical records I went directly to my GP surgery and spoke to the receptionist, they explained the process. I had to wait 2 weeks, I had an appointment with a GP and they went through them with me.
But the process has changed since I did it, you now make a subject access request, and they are probably digital.

Its possible your Mum took you for examinations because she suspected abuse. but had no proof.

I have huge sympathy for you. All of your reasons are excellent.

Could you try to find information on your address from the primary school you attended - maybe the LA kept a record?
If you find your address, maybe you could find the names of other adults living there from council tax records, deeds, etc?
Can you remember the name of any GP you were taken to as a child?

Have you considered finding a reputable hypnotist who might be able to guide you back carefully to access at least the home you lived in, nearby parks, intersecting roads, library, shops?

You absolutely do not need to explain yourself or your reasons to anyone on this thread.

I'm not sure the process or what details would be held after this time, however you have nothing to lose by contacting the police and asking for next steps.

I sincerely hope you get the answers you need.

Hi OP have you considered EMDR as a way of progressing this? I have a family member who has unearthed similar in her past but with absolutely no chance of a perpetrator or her parents ever being about to understand if she were to fully remember, she only remembers parts, so she is finding EMDR very helpful.

Hi @Sophiehoney, I hope you are ok. There is obviously something telling you that maybe something happened, which could be repressed.

But I just wanted to share that my child has frequent UTI issues and has been examined at the age of 3&4, makes me feel sad that they may remember this when they are order, but not remember the context!

I guess the difference is, if my child asked about their medical history I would be able to tell them, that they had frequent UTI issues.

Have you asked your mum anything?

Definitely try contacting the police. I had a similar situation to you & police went out of their way to be supportive & helpful. They had very little information to give me but it was in itself very validating.

You need to contact the police force in the area where the offence was committed rather than where you live now.

Just be prepared that there may be very little information available & the information may leave you with more unanswered questions so make sure you have someone to support you.

I think it's down to trust. You don't trust your mum by the sound of things. She allowed this person to be abusive to you that you do remember. You might feel better for going low/ non contact with her.

If social services were involved you can't request your case notes

I was also examined in the nurses office at school with several other adults there, i was maybe 5 or 6 years old, I remember telling my friends as I thought everyone was having it but they hadn’t. I was also interviewed in depth about my family by someone claiming to be a student teacher. There were serious issues in my family at the time, I can only surmise this is how they were trying to find out. There were no records of it anymore, it’s all been lost. I totally understand wanting to know what’s happened. Good luck OP. There are organisations that support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I’m sure they would be able to signpost you as well.

Have you tried looking online for newspaper articles? Find My Past has a lot of old newspapers and its likely you would need to search by the perpetrators name not yours. It might give you some clues

Closure for the op maybe?

I hope you get answers op xx

I was also examined as a child, so I went to my GP surgery and requested access to my medical records. I also contacted social services.
Some information did exist, the rest had been destroyed and could not be retrieved. I was able to accept that. Is worth thinking in advance about how that might affect you, and maybe get some support while you do it.
The process was nerve wracking but in the end it helped me. Just knowing that it did really happen and I hadn't made it up.

Hi op. I might be entirely off the mark here but my...I don't know... privates... Were examined as a child. I had frequent urine infections. I do vividly remember this. I'm not doubting you at all but just perhaps those examinations can happen?

Are there any safe adults or relatives who could sign a statutory declaration stating that your legal name and childhood known name are for the same person?

Might make it a lot easier when applying for a subject access request.

Hi OP, I’ve always wanted to do the same. Everything was such a blur back then, I was in a constant state of dissociation and freeze response. I completely understand the need to piece those parts together, it’s very difficult to make peace with experiences we don’t remember/was not given all the information. I’ve been in years of therapy and I’m really proud of the progress I made. That still does not take away my drive to know what happened back then. It’s absolutely okay that you want to know too. Wishing you the answers and healing.

I would contact the local police HQ to begin with. Ask for an appointment with someone appropriate, then they can maybe get you past down the line a bit to the best person who can deal with your enquiries. Or I’m wondering if maybe a solicitor would have some proper information to allow or show access of any files they may have. Difficult if you don’t have dates or names, but hey you gotta start somewhere right. Good luck.