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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ground DS16 and take his phone over vaping?

32 replies

QuaintQuoter · 05/08/2025 14:50

I found out recently that DS16 has been vaping occasionally. I spoke to his friends because I had a feeling something was going on and they admitted he does it when they’re together. I confronted him and he eventually told me the truth.

I’m honestly enraged that he’s been doing this and hiding it from me.

He’s not allowed to see his friends for a while and I’ve taken his phone. How else should I punish him and make sure this actually stops? Have I gone too far?

OP posts:
Original poster
QuaintQuoter · 05/08/2025 15:21

Anicemorning · 05/08/2025 14:59

You have handled this badly from start to now Op

there is little point is advising because the fact you’ve leapt to this kind of knee jerk reaction would indicate that there is no hope for you changing

How should I have reacted then. I have to place firm boundaries and make it clear that this is unacceptable.

OP posts:
bellamorgan · 05/08/2025 15:00

The punishment is worse than the crime. He used a vape here and there with his friends at 16 and you want to take his phone and stop him seeing his mates.

One, you went to his friends ouch that’s a punishment alone.

Two, there isn’t anything you can personally do to make him not vape anymore than you could make him not smoke or drink. If his going to do it he will. So best chance is an open honest conversation about health risks.

Anicemorning · 05/08/2025 14:59

You have handled this badly from start to now Op

there is little point is advising because the fact you’ve leapt to this kind of knee jerk reaction would indicate that there is no hope for you changing

Anicemorning · 05/08/2025 14:58

. I spoke to his friends because I had a feeling something was going on and they admitted he does it when they’re together

You contacted his friends unbeknownst to him? How?

Dartmoorcheffy · 05/08/2025 14:56

You carry on then. But it won't end well.

Original poster
QuaintQuoter · 05/08/2025 14:54

Dartmoorcheffy · 05/08/2025 14:53

Hes 16, not 12. You cant control everything he does anymore and if you want to end up with no relationship with him you are going the right way about it.

He wasn't doing coke or joyriding. He's a teen doing what the vast majority 9f teena do.

The vast vast majority of teens do not vape. He's 16 not 18 and so I'm still responsible for his health.

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 05/08/2025 14:53

Hes 16, not 12. You cant control everything he does anymore and if you want to end up with no relationship with him you are going the right way about it.

He wasn't doing coke or joyriding. He's a teen doing what the vast majority 9f teena do.