Sister does SM silent treatment if even the most minor of tiffs

Travelfairy · 2025-08-05T11:17:38+00:00

This is just a rant 🤣 anyone relate. DSis is granted generally a bit moody and 'prickly' as my Dad used to say. I'm not a big SM user, she isn't on it 24/7 either but would post regularly. I would post holidays, birthdays or if kids doing something fun/unusual or might post funny dog photo etc 2 weeks ago she snapped at me about something over WhatsApp, not big argument or anything but I was away this past week with my family and Mum and she has seen every photo and not commented like some silent protest 🙈🙈 Mum hadn't had a holiday in 2 years since ladt time I took her away (she is widowed) and sister couldnt even like a photo of her Mum having a break. Anyone else's family members do this?? Her son won football match the orher day and I commented and liked the photo, I would never be this petty 🙈 I'm not even asking anything here, just needed to vent. BTW shes 43, not 22! 😂

Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 18:21

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/08/2025 17:55

Because his wife had a bbq for her birthday, which was child-free, and I couldn’t go as I didn’t have childcare. My youngest doesn’t sleep brilliantly, so has never slept over with anyone as it’s just not fair on them (plus, my mum is going deaf so wouldn’t hear him wake!)

I explained and apologised profusely. His wife didn’t mind, and we’ve spoken since, absolutely fine. It’s just my brother with the issue.

We usually talk every day but we haven’t since mid June.

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This would be the type of crap I put up with. Honestly, isn't it exhausting? 😩

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Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 18:20

JoyDivision79 · 05/08/2025 18:04

I believe you that it's intentional re SM. That is a separate issue. I really can't stand this vacuous SM crap. Have you considered coming off it entirely? Use WhatsApp only and MN. You can make a semi anonymous account for hobbies and have no friends connections on it. It is very freeing and I believe incredibly beneficial to wellbeing to step away. It's an added layer of torment for many and weaponised behaviour like this.

Take a step back from your sister generally if you can. It's a buzz word I accept - yet, toxic does feel fitting in regards to the family dynamic.

You might have a point. I want to step back from her entirely but she lives on the same road as me so until we move, which will hopefully be in the nearish future then I have to try find ways to distance myself.
She did post one meme about the 'let them' theory which i actually like but its clearly aimed at me in some way 🙄🙄 its utterly exhausting having her in my life at all tbh

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JoyDivision79 · 05/08/2025 18:04

I believe you that it's intentional re SM. That is a separate issue. I really can't stand this vacuous SM crap. Have you considered coming off it entirely? Use WhatsApp only and MN. You can make a semi anonymous account for hobbies and have no friends connections on it. It is very freeing and I believe incredibly beneficial to wellbeing to step away. It's an added layer of torment for many and weaponised behaviour like this.

Take a step back from your sister generally if you can. It's a buzz word I accept - yet, toxic does feel fitting in regards to the family dynamic.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/08/2025 17:55

TrustedTheWrongFart · 05/08/2025 17:43

Gosh, sounds just like my older sis. What was you’re slight that’s caused the silent treatment?

Mine isn’t talking to me because the funkypigeon card for her birthday arrived a day late and I didn’t apologise well enough.

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Because his wife had a bbq for her birthday, which was child-free, and I couldn’t go as I didn’t have childcare. My youngest doesn’t sleep brilliantly, so has never slept over with anyone as it’s just not fair on them (plus, my mum is going deaf so wouldn’t hear him wake!)

I explained and apologised profusely. His wife didn’t mind, and we’ve spoken since, absolutely fine. It’s just my brother with the issue.

We usually talk every day but we haven’t since mid June.

Theunamedcat · 05/08/2025 17:55

I get what you mean my mom "punishes" me via social media too posts about "sharper than a serpents tooth the sting of the ungrateful child" and "acceptance" quotes "forgiveness" quotes i respond with....fuck all actually I responded once with a sort of "when someone shows you who they are believe them" which could be taken any way if I'm honest but shut her down for awhile so she could figure out if it was directed towards her or not i was honestly bored that day I won't bother again

Just live your life

chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 17:45

ThreenagerCentral · 05/08/2025 17:14

god I hope people don’t expect this of me. How exhausting to have to like or comment on every post from a family member! Your expectations are a bit bonkers.

As PPs have said. It's the abrupt change in behaviour of the OPs sister on social media when shes pissed off with a family member which sets off the red flag alert

The OP isn't saying she's wanting likes or hearts

It's quite straightforward imo

TrustedTheWrongFart · 05/08/2025 17:43

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/08/2025 15:00

It doesn’t really matter whether other people give a shit about “likes” or not. It’s the change in behaviour to make a point that’s petty.

My brother is similarly petty. He’s currently not talking to me so hasn’t read my last two WhatsApp messages from a month ago. He’s 40!

Gosh, sounds just like my older sis. What was you’re slight that’s caused the silent treatment?

Mine isn’t talking to me because the funkypigeon card for her birthday arrived a day late and I didn’t apologise well enough.

ThreenagerCentral · 05/08/2025 17:14

god I hope people don’t expect this of me. How exhausting to have to like or comment on every post from a family member! Your expectations are a bit bonkers.

Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 15:19

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/08/2025 15:00

It doesn’t really matter whether other people give a shit about “likes” or not. It’s the change in behaviour to make a point that’s petty.

My brother is similarly petty. He’s currently not talking to me so hasn’t read my last two WhatsApp messages from a month ago. He’s 40!

Yes I think people are focusing on the wrong details..I am not relying on likes, I'm not an influencer! Or someone with a big ego. Its the point that she is refusing to acknowledge in particular her Mum having a nice break away. All while making a point of complimenting other friends trips, in some cases mutual friends that she knows I may have a chance of seeing. Your brother sounds like a good friend for her 😂

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WrathfulDeity · 05/08/2025 15:17

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:56

Yep, a joy indeed! My biggest fear is losing my Mum!! Oh look i never learn tbh, I keep getting sucked back in when it suits her, she can be very charming when it suits her. I think i just need to take a complete step back and stick to it!!

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It sounds to me as if you're fighting between you over who loves your mother most. You sound a bit self-righteous about having taken your mother on her first holiday in two years, and as if you are implying your sister takes no interest in her mother because she didn't 'like' a WhatsApp photo of her mother on holiday.

Endofyear · 05/08/2025 15:16

I couldn't get worked up about someone not liking photos on SM! If she wants to sulk, let her. It doesn't have to affect you unless you let it bother you.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/08/2025 15:00

It doesn’t really matter whether other people give a shit about “likes” or not. It’s the change in behaviour to make a point that’s petty.

My brother is similarly petty. He’s currently not talking to me so hasn’t read my last two WhatsApp messages from a month ago. He’s 40!

chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 14:21

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:56

Yep, a joy indeed! My biggest fear is losing my Mum!! Oh look i never learn tbh, I keep getting sucked back in when it suits her, she can be very charming when it suits her. I think i just need to take a complete step back and stick to it!!

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I agree. Don't feed her 🥰

BauhausOfEliott · 05/08/2025 14:09

Mrssmith003 · 05/08/2025 12:22

I know I’ll have people disagree with me but I think it’s just as immature and silly to be offended when your sister doesn’t like or comment on your posts. You don’t need her validation and the fact it annoys you to the point of making a post is crazy.

Yes, agree with this. Not clicking 'Like' on a photo means nothing.

Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:56

chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 13:28

Wow! She's a joy isn't she? 🙄

I'd say that your DH is right.

Weaponised silence is a big red flag for narcissism or narcissistic tendencies

There's nothing you can do

You'll just have to grey rock

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Yep, a joy indeed! My biggest fear is losing my Mum!! Oh look i never learn tbh, I keep getting sucked back in when it suits her, she can be very charming when it suits her. I think i just need to take a complete step back and stick to it!!

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chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 13:28

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:23

Yes my DH always says that! My Mum only got her a small gift for her for her 40th. She wanted a specific piece of jewellery but Mum wanted her to go together to choose it. She said a few months ago that her 'biggest fear is that Mum will die before getting her that gift and that she will go the rest of her life with nothing to show'. She actually said that out loud 🙈🙈

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Wow! She's a joy isn't she? 🙄

I'd say that your DH is right.

Weaponised silence is a big red flag for narcissism or narcissistic tendencies

There's nothing you can do

You'll just have to grey rock

Brefugee · 05/08/2025 13:25

it is utterly batshit to monitor your SM use so much that you know who has seen and not commented.

Carry on as normal and don't worry about her. Or block her. Or whatever.

Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:23

chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 13:11

I think if your sister is using silence as a weapon either on social media or in real life, then she has narcissistic tendencies or is a covert narcissist

Yes my DH always says that! My Mum only got her a small gift for her for her 40th. She wanted a specific piece of jewellery but Mum wanted her to go together to choose it. She said a few months ago that her 'biggest fear is that Mum will die before getting her that gift and that she will go the rest of her life with nothing to show'. She actually said that out loud 🙈🙈

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chatgptsbestmate · 05/08/2025 13:11

I think if your sister is using silence as a weapon either on social media or in real life, then she has narcissistic tendencies or is a covert narcissist

Original poster

Travelfairy · 05/08/2025 13:07

Arrrgg I typed a big long reply and it deleted!

Thanks for replies and reality check. I do need to rise above it. I suppose just the immature pattern of behaviour really irritates me but its hard to put 40 years of shitty behaviour into a short post.

I dont check who replies, i just noticed she hadn't as mum was asking ' did x see the photos from this morning' etc

And I know a little of people dont interact but she is someone who loves nearly everything everyone posts and loved a photo and commented on someone who was at the same landmark on the same day as us!! I think she just wants us to notice but its hurt my mums feelings definitely.

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VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 05/08/2025 12:50

Who on earth cares who's liking their posts on social media? It seems like such a petty thing to get wound up by.

MyAcornWood · 05/08/2025 12:42

On a petty scale, she’s perhaps more petty than you, but you’re both on there op, make no mistake!!

saveforthat · 05/08/2025 12:40

I'm pretty old but I have never "liked" anything on social media. I do look from time to time. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

outerspacepotato · 05/08/2025 12:38

Are you really checking whether or not she responds on SM?

You're being a Petty Betty.

You might want to step away from SM for a bit.

stardrops1 · 05/08/2025 12:29

Agree with others, this is fairly petty on your part as well!