Am I being dramatic or was this a bit aggressive

What does your contract say?

Two words that don't go together there, Therapist AND aggressive, she's not a very good therapist if she demonstrates a lack of empathy and understanding. I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole....oh and it will cost her quite a bit to go to a debt collection agency so that probably wouldn't happen. Just leave her alone and give her a TRUTHFUL but bad review

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with this therapist and would have to go elsewhere, definitely a way to ruin the relationship! You’ve paid for that hour, it’s your time to do with as you wish.

This.

I do wonder about this narrative, which I have mentioned before. I would very much like the OP to post the message the therapist sent.

Therapists are very used to asking clients about any previous therapy and hearing 'oh yes, I stopped seeing my previous therapist because they did x terrible thing' or 'y terrible thing' and they then know they are going to be the therapist who did 'z thing' in another 6 months time.

This sounds literally incredible to me, though I don't wish to invalidate anyone here, no less the OP.

I just wonder.....

There are ways of wording things even if you do believe that it's ok to send the Ts & Cs info rather than a concerned email.

This is a harsh email by any standards, more like getting a parking ticket, not part of a therapeutic relationship.

Yes, the therapist is entitled to send it but the client can now decide if she wants to continue.

Wow mine sent me a really caring email asking if I was ok and she was concerned as I totally missed an in person session, and I had just not looked at my diary.

She she was worried about me as it was out of character. If I’d had that email after 5 minutes I wouldn’t go back.

What does it specify in your T & C's? Sounds pretty standard. These emails go out automatically when a client days to connect after X account is minutes. It's not a though she chooses this email especially for you.

Your therapist isn't doing this TO YOU - it is simply policy. She was more than considerate in telling you you didn't need to pay and offering to see you for the remainder of your scheduled time slot.

The therapist isn't being rude or aggressive. She isn't your FRIEND! She is a licensed professional providing a service following guidelines you both agreed to.

Sadly, far too many of the replies on this post make it glaringly obvious why some individuals could truly benefit from therapy. Advising the OP to aggressively email their therapist, to "fire her", and those generally supporting their viewpoint that they are somehow a victim of an evil, money-hungry therapist who is out to get OP, is extremely unhinged.

Yours is one of the only reasonable replies I've seen on this post!! As you stated, these are standard T & C's that OP most likely agreed to when beginning therapy.

Quite. The relationship with a therapist is very particular, built on trust. After six months of being punctual and paying a not inconsiderable amount of money is this utterly appalling.

Great! Pay for another therapy session with her to discuss how the therapist made her feel shit!!

Absolutely agree with every single word you so rightly mentioned
💚👌💚

As a (now retired) therapist, I am appalled by that level of aggression! She has completely shattered your working alliance - you'll struggle to feel safe with her again. Is she with any of the UK registered bodies - they do have quite strict rules about how you treat your clients.

I ended up charging up front for sessions as I had a lot of no shows when I was first practising, which does keep clients more focussed about turning up, but therapy online is often interrupted due to signal problems, and we all know this - I occasionally had to be flexible - also, what would have happened if it was HER tech not working?! Threatening you with debt collectors in 5 days is far too heavy-handed - I wonder what has gone on for her that has created that attitude?

I'm so sorry you are going through this - it's very hard to get up the courage to go into therapy in the first place, and this might really put you off. I do hope not.

When trying to find your next therapist, don't be afraid of interviewing them (I bloody did - had to have two full years as part of my training and ongoing supervision - and it's not cheap!) and ask them about their policies regarding this kind of thing.

Warmly, S xx

This is shocking behaviour from a therapist and not one I would wish to carry on seeing. I’ve often been a few mins late to mine and as long as I email her she’s always understood and when I had to can el last minute she put it in as a holiday session and was so understanding.
This counsellor sounds awful. There’s a lot of bad counsellors out there but some really ones, the last thing you need is to be worrying and stressing about payment so having her create this is appalling. Get rid of her immediately!!!!! ,

I do private therapy work and have to stay on the call for 30 minutes and try to contact by at least 2 methods e.g. phone call and email. Only after the 30 minutes can I mark as a DNA.

She's being ridiculous, I wouldnt go back.

Yes aggressive and I wouldn’t use her again.

It is a real power imbalance- if she couldnt log in due to technical problems there would be no threats to her from you. She would apologise and reschedule. She is totally out of order. I only wonder if she uses a platform and has no idea about the message - she may have ticked "no show" and it was sent automatically.

I had talking therapy through the NHS. The therapist would send me a link to TEAMS but it could be difficult to get onto it. If there was a problem she would send me a message or I would message her and we would do a phone session as an alternative which I was happy with. She was very understanding.

This therapist, on the other hand, has completely undermined the therapist/client trust and if it happened to me, I would definitely not go back. It’s a shocking way to treat someone who has been seeing them for six months and I would report them.

Nope, ditch. All trust gone now. As a possible 'standard email response' it is highly aggressive in stance and entirely inappropriate for the 'business' she is a practioner of. So sorry - not helpful for your mental health is it?

Sounds like a standard, possibly automated email? Best to communicate about this surely?

Yes,

This is why I feel there is something off with this narrative. I wonder whether the therapist is indeed, a therapist. No well-qualified therapist would behave like this or have a regular email structured this way, they would have been reported to their regulating body a long while ago, surely?

I did ask the OP to please post the actual message, as sometimes it feels like something is being said that others might interpret otherwise.

I'm not sure what it is, but this seems very very strange, no?

She’s completely OTT and I would complain but why would you not email her or WhatsApp her at the first sign of IT issues?

My therapist and I arrange sessions via WhatsApps and would tell each other if we were delayed.

I’m a therapist. This is not how you treat clients. I also have a therapist and it has happened that I was late or forgot my session and joined late. She never talked to me like that! Yes, we get people who take the biscuit but you’re clearly not that kind of person. Also, if she is charging you the full amount as a cancellation fee, then she owes you the whole session. For what happened with you, I’d not charge. It was a one off and beyond your control, and you have a track record of being reliable and responsible. She destroyed the rapport she built with you for the sake of a session fee. I’d definitely feed back to her how it made you feel, how rude and aggressive she was and I’d tell her you won’t be continuing spending your money with her. I’d also leave a review to warn other people, as others might not be as strong as you are and this kind of behaviour can really hurt people that are vulnerable. I’m really sorry you had such an overreaction from her, it’s not acceptable. It was definitely uncalled for.

That would be it for me too. Threatening debt collection like that would not be a therapist I’d want to be talking to.

An actual counsellor behaving like this?!?
Nah. I’d be ditching her and telling her why.

That's terrible OP. I had almost the same thing happen last week with my psychologist. I do have her mobile and we texted back and forth trying to get the link to work.

After 15 mins of no success she suggested we give up and book another appointment, since we'd already wasted 15 of a 45 min session. She didn't charge me.

Unless you're really attached and gaining a lot of benefit from this therapist I don't think I'd see them again. Debt collection for this is WAY OTT.