To pick my daughter up from holiday camp 150 odd miles away

Will you all be rushing to pick your kids up if they phone homesick from university?
Or would you encourage them to give it a go?
In this case I'd phone the camp. Talk to me leaders, find out exactly what's happening and see if they can sort it out. What happens if you rush off now to pick her up and when you get there she's made a new friend and is enjoying herself?
Hell of a lot of driving for what might be no reason. Why not see if you can talk to her later in the week and if she's still hating it then pick her up early. Give her a chance first though m

Oh good. Now all I have in my head is “hello muddah, hello faddah” 🤣

I trusted the teachers to care for my children as they knew them and there were no issues.

Scouts and holiday camps don't know the children, it becomes survival of the fittest and knocks the confidence of the wobbly kids.

She's 12

I agree with the halfway compromise idea - call the camp and talk to the counsellors and to speak with her again and then see if it sounds like an emergency or if it's worth trying to push through another couple of days.

I have a 12 year old daughter with anxiety so sometimes we just need to get through the first bit to find the fun part after. Of course you know your child best so if this is out of the norm for her that's different. My daughter unfortunately usually has a bad start to most new things before finding her way through - but she knows this about herself so can usually talk herself through it.

I think I'd go for the compromise solution. She hasn't been there long. I'd say stick it out until Wed and if no improvement collect on Thurs.

Yes, this. I had some rotten times at summer camp. One year I wet the bed (age 11, it wasn't something I'd ever do at home) and none of the other kids would talk to me, walk with me or eat with me after that. I spent the rest of the week in lonely silence.

Did it teach me resilience? I suppose so, if resilience is "put up and shut up, and cry about it in private later"

Go and get her. I had this situation when I went away to camp. I phoned my mum who said she would come and get me, then the camp leader talked her out of it. It screwed me up for years. I really struggled to go to school, couldnt stay at a friends house etc etc. My mum spoke to our lovely family doctor (back in the days when you had a family GP who actually knew you) and he said she should have gone with her instinct.

Is it Camp Granada?

Talk to the staff first but yes go and collect her.

Agree. Children’s resilience is at an all time low due to parents intervening at the first sign of discomfort.

I think I’d see if I could contact the camp first - she won’t be the first or sadly last girl who has been left out by her peers and I would like to think they would have actions in place to sort out situations like this

Arrange a call with your daughter towards the end of today and if she’s not settled then jump in the car.

OP - I went on a week long school trip years ago when I was 13 - abroad so there was no option for my Mum to collect me - and can remember being left out the entire trip, even by girls I had grown up with from pre secondary school. I spent a lot of time on my own and I cried a lot. I even felt guilty at how much the trip had cost my parents - even back then in the 90s it was well over £1k. If anything, it taught me early on how peers can behave - and on a further note, is a large part of why I have a very small social circle of women I whole heartedly trust and why I love my remote working job. It didn’t ‘damage’ me, but certainly gave me a life experience/lesson a lot earlier than I would have wanted.

I know as a Mum it’s the hardest thing ever to see your kids unhappy - and she’s really lucky that she’s got a Mum who isn’t just making her suck it up.

Wow. You know, you don’t get to say what other people feel, right?

Read your update, if the mobile signal is that bad then email them explaining exactly what you got out of your daughter so that they can look into it and address it.

Sorry op, how awful.
Resilience, independence or whatever they call it, if your daughter is still miserable today go and get her.
I personally wouldn't be able to sleep knowing my child was so unhappy.
💐

Not all children suit this sort of set up. She's given it a go, which is great but leaving her there when she's clearly miserable isn't going to do her any good.
Concerning that the adults don't seem to be aware of how she is.
I remember being miserable on trips away from home as a child - pre mobile phones, so couldn't do much about it, but people were aware.

I went to camp around this age with a 'best friend' who turned out to not be such a best friend when we were with other kids and completely snubbed me. I was miserable for a week but it was pre-internet (and also, pre-adults listening to kids!) I also knew if I could have been in touch with my parents, they would probably have thought I wasn't very resilient and left me there.

Long story short - if she is able to tell you she is feeling miserable with the confidence or expectation that you will do something about it, you should deffo do something about it! She's 7. Not everything has to be a life lesson.

Speak to the camp leaders asap then take it from there.

Only read OP's posts.

I was horrendously homesick for 2 consecutive years on a week long camp.
I think I didn't dare admit to anyone how sad I was, or admit to myself what a 'failure' I was (my sister was having the most amazing time).

The following year it rained for the whole week and it brought out an 'in it together' spirit in everyone. I honestly had the best time of my life. I went on to go year after year, forging friendships I still have, the fondest of memories and importantly I think it built resilience.

I wasn't being bullied or ill-treated, that's obviously a different issue, but for me if I had phoned my parents and they'd collected me I think I would have missed out hugely.

Rubbish, how dare you presume to know the impact it had on me.

Go and get her - best for you and her

If it was general homesick feeling I would encourage her to stay as that will pass and be something to learn from. As girls being unfriendly I would definitely go and collect.

No, it didn’t cause damage. You were a child and upset you didn’t get your own way.

I have mixed feelings on this because this was me decades ago. The first week I was hating it and desperate to come home. A week later I didn’t want to leave. Can you call the camp? There must be a number? You can properly asses then how she is feeling and whether it’s a blip and another day or two might change things or she really isn’t coping.

It's such a tricky decision.

If she gets the slightest hint you'll get her, she'll want that to happen. But often kids are actually fine at camp etc.

It's strange she says there's "not much to do". Camps are usually jam packed with activities... What is she supposed to be doing? Why isn't she taking part?

Plus, if she went at weekend, she'd hardly been there to settle in... I'd be tempted to call the leaders properly.