To pick my daughter up from holiday camp 150 odd miles away

There is nothing like asking. She is your daughter and definately you must be there ASAP. She needs you and if you never approached, she will never forgive you for this (according to my opinion).

If that makes you feel better like a better parent. Or you could see my post just before yours.

They probably would. This is why so many young people don’t have coping skills - they don’t have to cope because mum will swoop in and save the day!

Over the phone I would have given some guidance on managing the situation, I’d be calling the camp team to ensure they knew dd was struggling and I’d expect dd to give it a couple more days to see if she can turn it around. “Nothing to do” could just mean she doesn’t have a phone and can’t think what else to do. Ime friendships change throughout camp week and one group suddenly invites dd in and she’ll feel accepted and love it. First couple of days are fighting for position but that calms down.

Yes

Interesting that "qualified" for a man is called "clouded judgement" for a woman. Yanbu, I was in a similar situation and let DH talk me into not bringing her home was the beginning of a very bad, very long, mental health situation for dd. Will literally always regret it.

I’d go and get her yes. Not sure what’s to be gained from making her stay.

Those of you who’d pick up in a heartbeat, would you be so quick to do it if it was a school residential?

What about half way compromise? If she's still not having a good time by wed/Thurs then yes go get her.
Give her a chance to turn it around by trying to be friends with someone else, but also shows you'll listen and save her if needed

I'd be calling the camp as well, and asking to speak with her. Find out whether the messages were an over emotional wobble from tiredness/homesickness or a genuine plea for help.

I would speak to camp leaders to camp leaders first. I say this as an ex teacher who has taken many pupils on residential. They might be unaware of any issues. They mabe able to come up with strategies to help. Whatever happens mom and dad need to present a united front.

I’d speak to the staff first, for sure.

I'd ring the camp and ask someone to have a word with daughter. Give her another week, she may be happier after some changes e.g. moved to another tent.

I'd get her. I wouldn't necessarily trust the adults to be keeping an eye on things either. Bad experience with scouting here.

Hi had a similar situation when ds was 13 and at a cadets camp. There was a lot if aggression and bullying going on by a small handful of cadets, all the boys were in one massive dormitory, the trouble makers wouldn't let anyone sleep. Ds was messaging multiple times a day clearly very stressed and miserable. I phoned the sergeant in charge and made it crystal clear If it they didn't sort it out I would come and collect my ds, and then report them for lack of safeguarding. After 24 hours with no improvement I went and got him - and i did report it. I then withdrew ds from cadets.

I agree with this. Absolutely take it seriously that she's so upset. See if you can help her to fix it first. I would reassure her that you'll pick her up if things don't improve in x amount of time though

I’d go and get her without hesitating.

My child did this on a trip as did my friend’s. It’s not uncommon and doesn’t necessarily mean the other girls are being horrible in the way she perceives. It’s an emotional reaction from being away from home.

Speak to the adults in charge.

Edited to add: in both cases, child was having a great time by the end of the week.

I second trying to chat with one of the camp leaders and see how her days seem to them. Age 12, a minor tiff with a friend, or a friend wanting to do an activity someone else is doing instead of the one you want to do, can appear like the world is ending, especially if she called you in the evening after a busy day and was very tired. The next morning everything might be fine. However obviously you don't want to leave her there if she is unhappy all week.

Just to add my dd is 12 as well so I do appreciate the challenge

Yes,she's only 12,go and get her.

You need to speak to the adults / pastoral team at the camp and take it from there. You can judge if you think they have the measure of the situation and some solutions.

dd called me from a residential last week - she’d been battling with a problem and hadn’t involved any adults. I spoke with the director, some changes were made, spoke to dd again and the situation improved massively. If I had acted on her first text message I would have collected her straight away. So glad I didn’t as she had a brilliant time in the end and wants to go again next year.

go and see her in person have a chat to her and the camp leaders. Then take her home if she is sure, or leave her there if she is up for it

Are you able to speak to a teacher or someone with her at the camp to find out how they think she is doing?

If not I would probably pick her up. I remember going away for a week at that age, I was desperate to come home because when you are away from home for the first time you feel so sensitive to everything, even when the other girls leave the room first to get breakfast if you aren't ready yet it can feel like it was done on purpose to you. But honestly I just have great memories of it now, it was a learning experience.

Take her home.

Call the camp leaders and ask them to see what's going on and call you back to decide if she's OK or needs to be collected based on this.