To pick my daughter up from holiday camp 150 odd miles away

That's promising. I hope she continues to relax into it.

I accidentally hit YANBU but I didn’t mean it. I used to work at a camp and it is very normal for children to be upset/homesick right at the beginning, especially those who haven’t been away from home before and/or who don’t know many other children there. They just need to give it a chance and they will be much happier within a couple of days. And especially at 12, I’d be far more likely to have her stick it out than if it were a younger child.

edit: sorry hadn’t read the update before posting. Glad to hear she is laughing now!

What a stereotypical Mumsnet pile-on post 😂

I suspect an autocorrect from ‘is’

Glad to hear you’re both happier.

From someone who’s been the camp leader side many times - tread carefully with the keeping in touch. Be open if she gets in touch, but also give her the space to properly immerse herself in camp world. It’s often only when the world outside camp starts to raise its head that homesickness or I’m not enjoying it creeps in. Up to that point it wasn’t on the child’s radar as something to think about.

(eg. Bet you weren’t thinking about a lovely slice of Victoria sponge cake and how it’s a shame you haven’t had one for a while until I mentioned it).

I'm glad she's feeling better about it.

@ShatnerssBasoonSorry I have nothing useful to say but wanted to hat tip your Brass Eye ref. Really hope your daughter ends up having a great time and comes home with lots of stories to tell and appearing more confident.

Definitely go and get her

She’d been there 24 hours and isn’t at risk, I think trying it a bit longer is sensible. Only op knows her own daughter. Mine would have been able to try a bit longer. It’s not about abandoning the child and refusing to collect but after one night she’s not given it a chance.

Great to read op’s update that she’s happy and laughing with friends.

• bungee trampolines.
• inflatable assault course
• climbing and abseiling
• craft activities x 3
• campfire building
• toasting marshmallows and singalong
• dance class
• judo class
• tie dye t shirts
• circus skills
• going into underground tunnels

Sorry, came upon this without context and for a terrible moment I thought someone had itemised a vision of the circles of Hell specifically for childhood me.

That's a great update. The mere fact of knowing that you would support her decision to leave, if necessary, might be helping her to stick it out.

What sort of camp is it? I sympathise because my 11 (nearly 12) year old was on a scout camp last week, all went well but there is literally no contact while there, the leaders let you know if there is a problem. Phones are banned Quite difficult for the parents in some ways but the kids just get on with it and have a great time so I think the no contact actually helps. In his case though I trust the leaders to make sure everyone is ok. They go every year and in living memory only one child has ever had to be picked up and that was due to behaviour.

This. I had resilience forced on me from a young age. I was expected to put up and shut up when i was bullied at school. When my grandma and granddad died i stayed strong on the outside as i had been taught that crying was weak.

Great update, I’m pleased she’s having a better day. Girls and their friendship dramas!! 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly this. And to the person who says parents are bonkers these days do you think it’s cos they don’t want their children to have the same shitty experiences they did

Absolutely. It’s very important to know that when they are young. You can’t replicate the stability being shown that your parents will always be there for you the second you need them. It’s given mine unshakeable confidence to go out into the world themselves, which they both did.

It’s certainly not been detrimental to my two eldest, and christ, one of them has had to face many hard times alone and abroad in the armed forces, the other working in a 3rd world country thousands of miles away in a medical capacity.

It’s called “giving a different perspective”. Which is pretty much how chat forums work. HTH

I wouldnt judge. How do you know that that child is not being bullied or has severe mental health issues and that's the only way to get them to school?

There's few 15/16 year olds that would be willing to actually sit with their parent at lunch unless there was a pretty serious reason behind it.

You sound imminently sensible OP with your plan of action.

To those who would already have been on the road - what are you teaching your children? Every time life gets a little tough Mummy will swoop in and make it all better? Your kids will get a huge shock when they actually have to deal with some shit.

No it has to be given regularly at a certain time. Medications should be locked safely away but need to be given as prescribed. This is how it is in school, teachers don't decide whether to give it or not.

I had exactly this when I was 12 - I went to France on a school trip with my best friend and she fell out with me and was AWFUL to me while I was there. I rang my mum from the local pay phone crying for the first few nights as this was before mobile phone roaming was affordable. I can remember running sobbing to the shop when my pay phone credit ran out as I just wanted my mum so had to buy more credit and ring her back.

She couldn’t come and get me because I was abroad.

In the end, I made new friends and though I was so so glad to get home, I think I learnt a lot about resilience while I was there, and in hindsight I’m glad I stuck it out. It did help that my mum was at the end of a phone to cheer me up a lot though, and so I wonder if you can agree an exception to speak to her more often if she’s still struggling.

I just assumed that it was a typo for ‘is’

Go get her OP, she's not having a great time : ( x

Shes not going to be getting anything out of the trip if she is miserable. I would be speaking to the camp and telling her to give it one more day, unless she is really distressed then I would get her asap.