To think it's fine for men to drink whilst their partner is pregnant?

Oh my goodness! Ridiculous to say your partner can’t drink! Absolutely overboard ridiculousness to say your guests can’t drink!!

Look, it absolutely sucks to be pregnant, and we often see on Mumsnet the consequences of men having full blown toddler tantrums weeks before their partners' give birth, because it has only just dawned on them that their life (should) be about to change. Also, for some women giving up smoking/alcohol/certain foods is REALLY difficult and frankly I think in those cases it is only fair that they are supported in their struggles by their partner and not have the forbidden fruit flaunted in front of them.

If it works for this couple, good for them and you should be less judgemental of a decision that does not affect you in the slightest.

It’s nuts and if it bothers the pregnant partner that much they need to re-examine their own relationship with alcohol.

(I do agree that the men shouldn’t be drinking at 40 weeks though when driving to hospital could easily be required!)

Yes, of course! It didn’t bother me at all. I did ask DH to slow down a bit as my due date approached just incase I needed to get anywhere quickly.
Same when I was breastfeeding. No reason why both of us should miss out.

This. Fine quietly to enjoy a drink but ultimately being pregnant is a bit shit, uncomfortable and restricting, and I'd be unimpressed if my OH made a big song and dance about enjoying drinking in front of me while I couldn't. It's about consideration really - if he was otherwise considerate and supportive (and brought me plenty of the things I could still have!), I certainly wouldn't begrudge him a drink but wouldn't expect to have it waved in my face.

When we arrived DH took some beers along for the men and he was told he couldn't drink them

Sounds like they were stopped from drinking.

So he’s fine with it. She’s pleased he’s doing it. But she’s batshit and unreasonable. Yeah makes sense!

Neither vote for me. It depends on the couple and what they agree to.
Some might be ok with the dad still drinking. Some might like for total abstinence. Neither are wrong.

Alcohol at the end of the day is poisonous so it's sensible not to drink it. Maybe some of the men just needed an excuse because British society is so booze soaked.

(I drink like a fish but I also welcome a premature grave)

It wouldn't bother me but I know if i was pregnant my DP wouldn't drink.
We don't drink if the other is driving either

I’ve heard of people doing this and just find it weird! I enjoy a drink when not pregnant but it’s not a massive deal to skip it for 9months. I’m not going to begrudge other people just because I can’t for a bit. Them drinking doesn’t affect the baby, me drinking does. Even at my baby shower there was Prosecco and nosecco and it wouldn’t cross my mind that people wouldn’t have some fizz to celebrate!

Agree with others though to lay off it close to the birth.

I craved beer when pregnant.
DH used to take one for the team and enjoy his nightly pint while I sniffed it regularly

Yeah I agree. In a social setting it’s too much to expect the men not to enjoy a drink. With my first, DP didn’t have a drink at home in the evening like we would sometimes do together ‘in solidarity’ but that was more because he felt he didn’t need to drink on his own, it was our social thing if that makes sense.

I think it's silly, but on the other hand, there are circles where "having a drink" means getting wasted. People don't just have a drink or two.

If it's the latter situation, I can kind of see it, because it sucks being sober with someone like that.

I've never restricted anything else like cheese or sushi, but if people do I thin it's silly to tell others they can't have them too.

I dunno, I think it’s good tbh. Showing sensitivity and respect to his partner. Let’s face it, it’s shit not being able to drink when others are. And pregnancy is really hard. So imo least he can do is show a bit of solidarity and not drink around her.

They can do what they want but they have no right to tell anyone else what to do. I wish your dh had said "Don't be silly" and opened one of his beers.

The one time I did (possibly unreasonably) ask DH not to drink was when we went to a wedding that was an hour's drive from our house. I was 38 or 39 weeks pregnant, and I really didn't want to have to drive home late at night - I knew I'd be tired, and I really hated driving around the city late at night in the dark.

I asked him to stay sober to drive us both home, and he did. His friends thought he was missing a great last opportunity to get drunk. I was grateful as it meant I made to it a wedding I really wanted to go to, and someone was kind enough to drive me home.

So - banning drinking entirely is unreasonable. Having a few beers is fine. Very weird to go to someone’s house for the evening and be banned from drinking for this reason.

However… I did find being around people boozing quite frustrating during my pregnancies, as you can feel a bit excluded from the fun / drunk people are quite annoying when you are the sober one.

Women go through so much in pregnancy, it always felt like a great injustice my DH could continue to drink as much as he liked, whenever he liked!!

When no I was pregnant I actively sent DP to the pub with his mates so I could chill and watch crap TV in peace 🤣

I pressed the wrong poll button by mistake! It’s absolutely ridiculous to say a man can’t drink while his partner is pregnant. I can tell you what my ex husband did though, and it was 100% abusive behaviour. I love wine but obviously immediately stopped drinking when I found I was pregnant. My ex husband was teetotal. In an absolutely bizarre turn of events, he decided to sit and drink a bottle of wine for almost every evening of the nine months while making “mmm” noises and “shame you can’t have some” etc. The moment I gave birth, he stopped. Had he been a drinker pre pregnancy, there is no way I would have asked him to stop but I really found it difficult to deal with his behaviour during that time! A bit off topic but this triggered that memory!

Of course they can!!

I think the only time I’d say I’d prefer him not to is if my due date was fast approaching or if I was just past it, and he may need to drive with very little notice 🤷🏻‍♀️

I might be unreasonable here … but I actually banned Brie etc from the house when I was pregnant - I love my cheese and couldn’t bear to smell it in the fridge. Happy for him to drink whatever he wanted but I wasn’t about to have him eating cheese when I couldn’t

I've voted yabu for going along with this.

And for attempting to dictate what is ok for other people.

I can't imagine an adult man complying with such a silly instruction.

I think it’s comparable to eating a load of chocolate in front of someone who’s struggling to diet. You’d still eat the chocolate, just not wave it in their faces.

Wait, did the hosts ban everyone from drinking? Or just the host husband?

If it was everyone, that's massively out of order. I couldn't drink earlier this year as was pre op. My two best friends drank two rounds each of my favourite cocktail when we went out for dinner and I couldn't be mad at them, I'd have done the same!