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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset DH bought DD an electric scooter I said no to?

86 replies

AspDude · 04/08/2025 15:43

I said no because I don’t think she’s old enough (8), and I worry about safety. They’re not toys and I’ve seen how fast they go. DH knew how I felt, we’ve had the conversation more than once. This morning he just handed her one as a surprise while I was making breakfast. Huge excitement, I had to smile through it but I’m livid. He says I’m overreacting and it’s not a big deal but I feel totally undermined. We’re meant to be on the same page with this stuff. I don’t even want her to have it now on principle.

AIBU to be this upset?

OP posts:
TashaG · 04/08/2025 16:33

There are stories on the news weekly (if not more!) of kids being killed on these.

No way would my kids have one and no way would 'D'H get away with buying one behind my back either! That is a big buy for one person to decide on.

Topjoe19 · 04/08/2025 16:32

Those things are so dangerous! I really hate them so much. Saw a mum returning one in Argos recently, the scooter was bigger than her kid! I wonder whether the dad bought it & she was returning it because they're so dangerous.

I'd be absolutely fuming. What a total prick.

Needmorelego · 04/08/2025 16:32

missmushroom · 04/08/2025 16:14

My dad got us a mini moter bike when i was 10 my mum was livid but we was having so much fun.
She calmed down with in 3 days.
We were sensible kids though.
It got worse as we got older dad got an old banger to learn us to drive i was 14 at the time.
Mum this time round was on board.

Was that legal for you to ride though?

Original poster
AspDude · 04/08/2025 16:31

I do think there’s a bit of wanting to be the fun one going on. I also think he genuinely didn’t know they were illegal - but that’s not really an excuse. He had every chance to look into it properly, or just listen to me when I raised it.

DD is very taken with it obviously so I’m going to have to tread carefully, but yes, I’ve told them both it’s not being used anywhere other than the drive. I’ll be asking for the receipt tonight. I don’t want to be over the top but it’s not safe, it’s not legal, and the more I read the more shocked I am that he thought this was fine.

OP posts:
itsallabitofamystery · 04/08/2025 16:31

Friends daughter broke both tib and fib last year. Despite being told she could only ride it around their property (decent bit of land), she took it out onto the street and crashed it into someone’s car. Obviously, they weren’t insured so they had to pay for the damage to the car and daughter was out of school for weeks. The police came and seized the scooter. She was 9 at the time. They’re sooo dangerous. Luckily after this all her friends decided they didn’t want one anymore - including my daughter.

GoldenRosebee · 04/08/2025 16:31

AspDude · 04/08/2025 15:43

I said no because I don’t think she’s old enough (8), and I worry about safety. They’re not toys and I’ve seen how fast they go. DH knew how I felt, we’ve had the conversation more than once. This morning he just handed her one as a surprise while I was making breakfast. Huge excitement, I had to smile through it but I’m livid. He says I’m overreacting and it’s not a big deal but I feel totally undermined. We’re meant to be on the same page with this stuff. I don’t even want her to have it now on principle.

AIBU to be this upset?

YANBU to feel upset, YABU not to have speedy divorce.

Tillybobbins · 04/08/2025 16:30

I fully support you as much as my 30+ year old son had one and broke 3 ribs and his collar bone. Tell him that.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 04/08/2025 16:29

I can't imagine anyone, unless having the land to use it, buying a child an electric scooter it's technically motorised vehicle, they're not slow, or light in weight some DC can't control push one's.
Same as hoover boards.

Privately owned scooters have always been illegal to use in public places
I suspect parents/owners knew this but carried on regardless, equally I think the authorities have been turning a blind eye.

Until now....in our area they are finally being confiscated, it's unbelievable how many parents/owners kick off at the police for doing so claiming they didn't know, it's been widely broadcast.

IMO both are at fault, those that have bought and used them on public ground and the police for not implementing the rules years ago.

ADHDspoonie · 04/08/2025 16:27

AspDude · 04/08/2025 15:43

I said no because I don’t think she’s old enough (8), and I worry about safety. They’re not toys and I’ve seen how fast they go. DH knew how I felt, we’ve had the conversation more than once. This morning he just handed her one as a surprise while I was making breakfast. Huge excitement, I had to smile through it but I’m livid. He says I’m overreacting and it’s not a big deal but I feel totally undermined. We’re meant to be on the same page with this stuff. I don’t even want her to have it now on principle.

AIBU to be this upset?

Way too young. I tried one last year and so did my DC who was 15 at the time. We both struggled to balance properly etc on it as they're so heavy.

HonoriaBulstrode · 04/08/2025 16:25

Haven't the batteries on e-scooters sometimes started fires? They are banned on SE trains because of the fire risk. Look up news stories about house fires caused by e-scooters and e-bikes.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 04/08/2025 16:24

Apart from the unanimous responses which are correct, there will also be the risk of burning your house down with the dodgy unregulated battery that it no doubt has

ginasevern · 04/08/2025 16:18

AspDude · 04/08/2025 16:14

It’s reassuring to hear I’m not being totally unreasonable about this. I do feel like it’s one of those moments you have to draw a line. She’s only 8 - she’s still figuring out how to use her gears properly on her bike. The idea of her zipping around at 10mph on something silent and motorised gives me the absolute fear.

I hadn’t seen those news stories but I’ll be showing him later. I honestly think he just didn’t think it through. He saw something she’d be excited about and went with that. But that’s not how this works - not when it comes to safety and not when we’ve already discussed it.

I think it’s going back.

He simply isn't parenting your child properly if he's buying her dangerous equipment and giving in to her demands. Like I said, he's not doing it for your DD - he's doing it to boost his own ego and "buy" her affection. It's all wrong on so many levels.

Achdinnae · 04/08/2025 16:16

YANBU It's illegal for her to use the scooter except on private property with the permission of the landowner. It's generally illegal for adults to use them except on private property. There are a number of government approved experimental schemes that allow adults to rent and use scooters in public certain areas. They can only rent to over 16s who have a Category Q UK Driving licence. The number of serious injuries to children is spiralling and there have been a number of deaths. 8 is far too young.

Rayqueen · 04/08/2025 16:15

I'm glad my hubby and I talk everything thru and agree on things...way out of order and she way to young

Original poster
AspDude · 04/08/2025 16:14

It’s reassuring to hear I’m not being totally unreasonable about this. I do feel like it’s one of those moments you have to draw a line. She’s only 8 - she’s still figuring out how to use her gears properly on her bike. The idea of her zipping around at 10mph on something silent and motorised gives me the absolute fear.

I hadn’t seen those news stories but I’ll be showing him later. I honestly think he just didn’t think it through. He saw something she’d be excited about and went with that. But that’s not how this works - not when it comes to safety and not when we’ve already discussed it.

I think it’s going back.

OP posts:
bellocchild · 04/08/2025 16:14

You could tell them (both!) that you have checked the regulations and she will only be able to ride it on the drive. You will not permit her to ride it anywhere else and nor will the police.

missmushroom · 04/08/2025 16:14

My dad got us a mini moter bike when i was 10 my mum was livid but we was having so much fun.
She calmed down with in 3 days.
We were sensible kids though.
It got worse as we got older dad got an old banger to learn us to drive i was 14 at the time.
Mum this time round was on board.

ginasevern · 04/08/2025 16:13

Your DH is an absolutely fuckwit. He obviously cares more about his own male ego (being the "fun daddy") than your DD's safety. Quite frankly he doesn't sound fit to be a parent. These things are bloody dangerous and it's also illegal for a child of that age to ride them anyway. Personally I wouldn't give a flying fuck what my DH thought. The thing would be returned pronto. It would also serve a lesson to your DD that sometimes "wonderful daddy" is wrong.

NewHat · 04/08/2025 16:11

Maybe he’s trying to bump her off!

tuvamoodyson · 04/08/2025 16:11

My husband almost killed a father/son duo, both of them in the one scooter, straight out of a side road and right in front of the car!! How we missed them, I truly don’t know! Child wouldn’t have been older than six! Terrifying!

Needmorelego · 04/08/2025 16:10

Ask him what other laws he is happy to break?
What I don't understand is why shops sell the bloody things are the vast majority of the population won't be able to use them.
This is definitely one to put your foot down on.
Tell your daughter her dad made an error and that these scooters aren't for children so she isn't allowed to use it.
He needs to return it now.

Original poster
AspDude · 04/08/2025 16:05

Thanks all. This is exactly why I said no in the first place. We don’t have private land, just a driveway she can go up and down a few times. I told him it wasn’t legal to use in parks or pavements but he brushed it off. I also asked about a helmet and he said “she can just use her bike one” - which she never wears without me reminding her anyway.

And yes to the bigger point some of you made - it’s not just the scooter, it’s the fact he made this decision alone and now I’m the bad guy for being upset. He doesn’t always do this but when he does it’s always about making her happy in the moment and leaving me to be the one who has to say no later. I’m not sure what the answer is now - if I say it has to go back I’m the mean mum, but if we keep it I feel like I’m giving in.

OP posts:
SeriouslyStressed · 04/08/2025 16:02

Has your husband not seen the news stories of children killed on e-scooters? There are so many
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj9183ze8d9oPitsea collision victims 'were riding an e-scooter', say police - BBC News

A composite image of Roman and Darcie Casselden. Roman is wearing a black hoody and is smiling. He has light brown hair. Darcie, who has long brown hair, is squinting and smiling. Only her head is visible.

Pitsea collision victims 'were riding an e-scooter', say police

Two people arrested in connection with the deaths of a brother and sister are released by police.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cj9183ze8d9o

AmyDudley · 04/08/2025 16:01

I'd say that since your husband decided unilaterally to buy the thing, you can uniaterally decide to get rid of it.

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