Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flag in Graduation ceremony - what would you think?

170 replies

whiteroseredrose · 04/08/2025 14:26

My DD graduated on Saturday. The ceremony is in two parts, first they 'graduate' in groups of the same subject and go outside. They then come back in in larger groups wearing their new hoods attached to the robes. All very pretty with lots of proud parents taking photos.

DD came back in with her friends, lots of clapping and cheers and I took my photos.

In the cohort immediately behind her one graduate came in carrying a full sized Palestinian flag which covered her from head to toe. So the attention switched from the 30 or so new graduates all in black and white to this huge multicoloured flag. There were some cheers and some boos.

Here's my AIBU. I think it was highly inappropriate to steal the moment from all of your classmates. It is everyone's moment of glory and shouldn't be about just one person and their beliefs. I don't think that the University staff should have let her in with it.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 04/08/2025 16:33

I'm guessing it was planned by the students themselves in which case brilliant

Spirallingdownwards · 04/08/2025 16:32

CloudywMeatballs · 04/08/2025 15:22

My daughter graduated last year in the US and there were several students who carried Palestinian flags across the stage with them when they graduated. I'm curious as to why you think this wouldn't be allowed in the US? We take our freedom of speech very seriously here.

Just not women's rights, abortion rights and rights to healthcare, anti racism etc.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 04/08/2025 16:30

Dangermoo · 04/08/2025 15:59

I'm not making assumptions, I know I'm right. You call that arrogant, I call it having made many observations of Pro Palestine advocates. @HRTQueen I'm not going to debate the merits of the conflict on this thread. As I said, I knew which flag would be in question and I knew the G word would come up. The flag is politically partisan, as would be the Israeli flag. All this was done to death on that dick head Kneecap thread and the inept BBC Glastonbury thread.

ETA: apologies if you are personally affected. That doesn't alter my viewpoint. @findingmypurposeinlife

Edited

I would just like to correct you - I never once called you 'arrogant' as was stated. I simply said that assumptions shouldn't be made. And I backed that up with my own experience.
I have not even mentioned Politics in my post!
One thing I also learned from my own experience is that calm is a superpower.

War is brutally violent and unjust. War has many components. And modern day warfare is not just about bombs and guns. Surviving all that is hard enough, but ultimately it will either kill you, break you or you will emerge stronger. I aim to be in that last category.
Anyway, no offence was taken. I understand that people get riled up.

CyanDreamer · 04/08/2025 16:29

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 16:21

I think spreading the message that so many people feel very strongly about the atrocities in Palestine is more important than a graduate having their ‘moment’ without any other distractions. They have still graduated and a flag does nothing g to take anything away from their achievements or celebrations.

why do your strong feelings about Palestine trump people's feeling about other atrocities around the world? And why would they even trump people's feeling about the Israeli hostages still held and tortured as we speak?

And what about feeling very strongly about the kids in this very country who don't have access to immediate life-saving treatment, who haven't got free school meals during the holidays..

I mean, if we start fighting about causes that we are genuinely concerned about, where do we stop?

Graduations are neither the time nor the place. Show respect to the graduates and campaign for your causes elsewhere.

godmum56 · 04/08/2025 16:29

TreeSturgeon · 04/08/2025 15:22

You know what, I was going to say you’re unreasonable, they’re just students acting like students, but you know what - you’re right. It’s inappropriate. There’s a time and place and that isn’t it. They also had no regard to how others felt about it. Totally stupid act of selfishness.

I agree. Its one of those (and now I am going to sound old) what if everyone did it? Its the kind of situation where one person's entitlement to free speech doesn't outweigh everyone else's entitlement to have the kind of day they want.

GeneralPeter · 04/08/2025 16:27

cunningartificer · 04/08/2025 16:18

I’m always interested by the odd use of ‘virtue signalling’: so it’s best to stay modest and quiet and not cause any trouble to anyone if you want to protest?

I suspect some people would see the suffragettes as virtue signalling; they certainly caused enough embarrassment and awkwardness, but sometimes being embarrassed is a stage in realising that protest is real.

People used to talk about virtue signalling or its equivalent when some were protesting against apartheid in South Africa, refusing to buy goods etc was seen as pointless, but it doesn’t seem like that now.

i started reading the thread thinking oh yes it was a disruption; reading the responses I actually feel more supportive.

Well, yes. But you have to be consistent. It can’t be whatever cause cunning supports is allowed and no other (and I’m sure you weren’t suggesting that). So you’d have to accept pro-apartheid protests too, be fine with extremists calling for Israel-river-to-the-sea if you are fine with their Palestine equivalent. Let alone the thousand other really complex politics around the world that we don’t hear of but which plays out on campus. I can’t see how that is practically workable or desirable, so I think the no-flags-no-protests must be what we all have to put up with for the common good.

CyanDreamer · 04/08/2025 16:26

UsernameMcUsername · 04/08/2025 14:37

It would be a nope from me. A diverse society like ours needs to preserve politically and ideologically neutral spaces, or life will become very exhausting very quickly. There are many other ways to support particular causes without tokenistic flag waving.

nailed it

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 04/08/2025 16:23

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 16:21

I think spreading the message that so many people feel very strongly about the atrocities in Palestine is more important than a graduate having their ‘moment’ without any other distractions. They have still graduated and a flag does nothing g to take anything away from their achievements or celebrations.

See the post above yours.

No student or their families should be made to feel uncomfortable at their own graduation.

CopperWhite · 04/08/2025 16:21

I think spreading the message that so many people feel very strongly about the atrocities in Palestine is more important than a graduate having their ‘moment’ without any other distractions. They have still graduated and a flag does nothing g to take anything away from their achievements or celebrations.

Oldglasses · 04/08/2025 16:20

Flags or keffiyahs should not be allowed in graduation ceremonies imho.
Whatever your views or polictical persuasion it has nothing to do with getting your degree.
As a Jewish person I wasn't happy seeing (thankfully only 1) graduate wearing a keffiyah at my DC's ceremony. I didnt' clap for her - but clapped for everyone else. There were def Jewish students there as well (one sitting quite near us as we were at the front behind all the graduates). Could tell by name and my 'Jewdar'.

GeneralPeter · 04/08/2025 16:19

HRTQueen · 04/08/2025 15:19

young people the future of our country showing support for people that are suffering horrendously while genocide is taking place

I am in full support that they show such awareness, this country is involved and no one should ever be silenced when speaking out against such horrors as we are seeing night after night on the news

More important than any one cause is political pluralism and institutional neutrality.

Which means all flags or none.

Russian nationalists, Israeli ones, Chinese, the lot, all speaking out for their cause and waving their flags. English nationalists, the China-Taiwan wars, Kashmir unpleasantness, who knows, maybe a Confederate flag or two.

You may welcome them all, but I think no flags is a better idea.

cunningartificer · 04/08/2025 16:18

I’m always interested by the odd use of ‘virtue signalling’: so it’s best to stay modest and quiet and not cause any trouble to anyone if you want to protest?

I suspect some people would see the suffragettes as virtue signalling; they certainly caused enough embarrassment and awkwardness, but sometimes being embarrassed is a stage in realising that protest is real.

People used to talk about virtue signalling or its equivalent when some were protesting against apartheid in South Africa, refusing to buy goods etc was seen as pointless, but it doesn’t seem like that now.

i started reading the thread thinking oh yes it was a disruption; reading the responses I actually feel more supportive.

poppysqueak · 04/08/2025 16:17

I was watching my niece’s graduation ceremony from Leeds Beckett University via LiveLink a couple of weeks ago.
One of the students took out a Palestinian flag which had been hidden under her robe as she crossed the stage.
Just made herself look like a very immature, attention seeking idiot to be honest.

Newgirls · 04/08/2025 16:09

They’re students. I’d be disappointed not to see protests and political activism on a campus - even at graduation.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 04/08/2025 16:08

HRTQueen · 04/08/2025 15:57

Well done Finding

You absolutely should be very proud. Best of luck

Thank you so much ❤️. I appreciate your kind words. It's been an exceptionally hard graft and I honestly can't believe I have done it. People will always make judgements without knowing the truth. And I get that all the time. I also learned that unfortunately, people do judge - especially on appearance. I now get told that ' you don't look what you have been through' and that's because I have worked hard and been exceptionally hard on myself because I want to challenge the stereotypical viewpoints. And so, when someone sees me with my chosen flag, they can make all the assumptions they want. It has a much deeper meaning to me. 😊

cramptramp · 04/08/2025 16:05

Attention seeking virtue signalling at its finest. Pathetic.

blanketsnuggler · 04/08/2025 16:03

Not Exeter by the way!

blanketsnuggler · 04/08/2025 16:03

DS graduated on friday and there was a free Palestine protest going on outside the building. This was one man banging on what sounded like a saucepan and a drum, and shouting through a loud speaker. We could hear it all through the ceremony. Then a graduate came in with a flag at the end when they come in from outside, and was quickly ushered out by staff.

DeLaRuiz · 04/08/2025 16:00

Oh god the virtue signalling. I wish they’d stop. So sorry this happened, it shouldn’t have been allowed.

Dangermoo · 04/08/2025 15:59

Findingmypurposeinlife · 04/08/2025 15:52

You shouldn't make assumptions! I am about to graduate and I have hands on experience with conflict (in a warzone) I am exceptionally proud of myself for achieving this degree in the face of adversity and I will be wearing my chosen flag representing the country which inspired me to achieve these goals. I could be 'resting' in a grave right now. But I'm not, and I am going to celebrate that, so no one should be offended. From my own personal experience, people living in conflict zones carry on with their lives daily - go to school, work - and they just have to incorporate war into that daily routine somehow. It's not easy, but people don't have a choice.

I'm not making assumptions, I know I'm right. You call that arrogant, I call it having made many observations of Pro Palestine advocates. @HRTQueen I'm not going to debate the merits of the conflict on this thread. As I said, I knew which flag would be in question and I knew the G word would come up. The flag is politically partisan, as would be the Israeli flag. All this was done to death on that dick head Kneecap thread and the inept BBC Glastonbury thread.

ETA: apologies if you are personally affected. That doesn't alter my viewpoint. @findingmypurposeinlife

HRTQueen · 04/08/2025 15:57

Findingmypurposeinlife · 04/08/2025 15:52

You shouldn't make assumptions! I am about to graduate and I have hands on experience with conflict (in a warzone) I am exceptionally proud of myself for achieving this degree in the face of adversity and I will be wearing my chosen flag representing the country which inspired me to achieve these goals. I could be 'resting' in a grave right now. But I'm not, and I am going to celebrate that, so no one should be offended. From my own personal experience, people living in conflict zones carry on with their lives daily - go to school, work - and they just have to incorporate war into that daily routine somehow. It's not easy, but people don't have a choice.

Well done Finding

You absolutely should be very proud. Best of luck

Butchyrestingface · 04/08/2025 15:56

My line of work exposes me to graduation ceremonies up and down the country (not a huge number, but enough). I've seen such demonstrations - and not just for Palestine - during the ceremony as students cross the stage. I've only been working in this arena for a couple of years so can't speak to what it was like prior.

With regards to Palestine, the flag-waving invariably invokes cheers from the audience. I can't recall any booing at the ceremonies I've witnessed this happening. Universities are typically very left-leaning these days, so if you're going to start waving the Palestinian flag about somewhere, a room full of students seems to be a place it would likely go down well.

Doesn't mean I'D do it personally, or even that I agree with it. Just that the gesture seems to have been well-received at ceremonies I've attended.

IdaGlossop · 04/08/2025 15:56

whiteroseredrose · 04/08/2025 15:08

Thank you everyone so far. It's good to know it's not just me.

This happened at my DD's graduation ceremony too and my feelings are the same as yours. So not just you!

Toddlerteaplease · 04/08/2025 15:54

I will be furious if someone does this at my graduation next year. We’ve worked hard and deserve our moment. It’s not time for protests.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 04/08/2025 15:52

Dangermoo · 04/08/2025 15:28

Those young people know naff all about the background to the arab-Israeli conflict. Not everyone believes it's either genocide and why the hell should everyone else have to keep seeing that flag, everywhere they go.

You shouldn't make assumptions! I am about to graduate and I have hands on experience with conflict (in a warzone) I am exceptionally proud of myself for achieving this degree in the face of adversity and I will be wearing my chosen flag representing the country which inspired me to achieve these goals. I could be 'resting' in a grave right now. But I'm not, and I am going to celebrate that, so no one should be offended. From my own personal experience, people living in conflict zones carry on with their lives daily - go to school, work - and they just have to incorporate war into that daily routine somehow. It's not easy, but people don't have a choice.