We’ve got a 3 week old and DH is currently on shared parental leave until October. I was under the impression this meant we’d be, you know, sharing the parenting. Instead, it’s starting to feel a bit one-sided.
He’s now saying he needs “proper sleep” so he can “keep the household running.” Not entirely sure what household he’s referring to because I’m still doing most of the cooking and laundry. He does the odd dishwasher unload and took the bins out once without me asking but that’s about it.
Meanwhile I’m up at 11pm, 2am and 4.30am doing feeds, changes and trying to settle baby back down while googling “is it normal for a newborn to grunt like a badger.” Then in the morning he gets up at 8 and says he’s “exhausted” because he heard the baby cry once through the monitor.
He says it’s just until baby gets into a rhythm but this mythical rhythm seems to exist only in his imagination because at this rate it’s me that’s going to break before the baby settles into anything.
To be clear, I’m not expecting him to do everything or for us to be keeping score, but if he’s not working at the moment and we’re supposed to be doing this as a team, then surely it’s fair for him to take half the nights? Or even just one night?
AIBU to think that while he’s on leave, he should be pulling his weight with the actual baby care rather than just having long baths and reorganising the spice rack “to feel productive”?
Or is this just how it is and I need to suck it up until he goes back to work and I have even less help?