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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I unemployable?

30 replies

ConsultMe · 04/08/2025 13:56

I worked for my employer for several years and was promoted various times, and to a senior position. It has been the only employer I worked for during my 20s so it consists of the majority of my work experience.

My manager then sexually harassed me. When I complained about him, the company closed ranks and started contrived allegations against me - think petty yet untrue things being taken as serious misconduct. Simultaneously they didn’t do anything with my complaint against him. So ultimately I went off sick due to work related stress and feel I cannot return to that employer as they clearly are not treating me fairly and are constructively managing me out. I have explored the employment tribunal process and gone to ACAS/union etc. I have raised formal complaints etc but this employer is not taking me seriously and are in “protecting themselves” stonewalling mode.

Therefore I’m thinking about work with new employers, but then I am extremely worried about a reference. I believe the problematic employer will basically reference their contrived allegations against me and the fact I went off sick due to work related stress. Aibu to think I’m unemployable as a result? I can’t imagine what employer would want to hire someone being told that, and if I leave off that employer from my CV then I don’t have any job experience in the last 7 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConsultMe · 04/08/2025 14:27

FirstTimeMum567 · 04/08/2025 14:15

I'd change jobs quickly, I wouldn't go down the tribunal etc route, personally. What you need is a clean start, an employment tribunal, even you win, will give you pennies and it won't be worth the aggro. Go back to work, keep a low profile, and start job hunting now.

The thing is I’m not choosing one or the other. I know that regardless of an employment tribunal, I need a job now. But the issue I’m having is that it feels impossible to get a job now as it’s linked to my problematic employer due to references. I know the employment tribunal process is long, difficult and not worth the aggro…but I just feel it’s a massive cycle trying to move on even if I don’t take this further.

OP posts:
FirstTimeMum567 · 04/08/2025 14:15

I'd change jobs quickly, I wouldn't go down the tribunal etc route, personally. What you need is a clean start, an employment tribunal, even you win, will give you pennies and it won't be worth the aggro. Go back to work, keep a low profile, and start job hunting now.

Ashley911 · 04/08/2025 14:12

I don't think you necessarily need a reference to get a job

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 04/08/2025 14:07

I would speak to an employment solicitor, you should be able to have a consultation before any chargeable work, and see about negotiating a settlement. Part of this should include an agreed reference for future employment.

Horrible situation for you to be in, but you'll survive and your career is not over. This is a blip.

Octavia64 · 04/08/2025 13:58

Speak to your union.

often part of this process is a negotiated reference so you know what they will be saying.

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