Am I unemployable?

If local union is being hopeless can you ask for assistance from their regional officer or similar...negotiating a way for you to leave notice paid, reference agreed is pretty standard union fare in my experience. I am REALLY sorry you are going through this 💐

It’s HR that give you a reference not your horrible boss and it will be bland and factual. It won’t mention any detail. Go apply for jobs and you’ll see. Dont hand in your notice until your new job gives you a start date in writing.

I’m an employer, I wouldn’t hesitate to hire OP with no reference in a situation like this, but like it or not, as women we do have to consider the personal consequences of taking action like this. The industry I work in is one of the largest in the U.K., but it is also impossible to bring an employer to tribunal without becoming known in the industry locally and finding the closed ranks go further than one company.

The last but one job I had was going to be a real opportunity for me to move up in my career, but after a while I just couldn’t stay any longer. The managing director was a bully, he treated staff appallingly, me included. I defended my team when he was having a go at them and spoke with his son (who was second in command with me) who appeared to be on my side (yeah, I know, I’m an idiot) and said I should speak with his dad about it. He “took my comments on board”, then ramped up his bullying. We had several staff leave and I did their exit interviews, all of them cited his behaviour as the reason. I filed these, as he had asked me to do, but a week later he called me in “for a chat” and had his side piece PA there “just for the record” and proceeded to tell me that all the staff had told him I was the bully, I was the reason they left, didn’t know how to do my job etc etc, and this was grounds for dismissal. Fair doos, I said, I’ll leave now, you can pay me my notice. I had very strong grounds for a tribunal, he knew that so be drew up his version of a mutual NDA where we both promised to never speak of any of it to anyone again and he paid me an extra month if I signed it. I was happy with that, it gave me a buffer to find a new job.

I went back to the agent who had placed me in the job and told him to find me another. The interviews came in thick and fast, verbal job offers made almost immediately but one by one, they all withdrew. When I spoke with the agent to find out what was going on, this guy had been bad mouthing me to his golfing buddies, the MDs of other companies. They had fed back to their directors who interviewed me and the jobs were gone. It really made it hard for me to get a job. In the end, I got a way better job than any of those had been, with a multi-national company who didn’t know this guy. My gloves came off and I was able to then trash this guy right back, which I did. I poached his staff and 3 of his clients, that meant more to me (and probably to him) than a protracted tribunal and any award that would have come from it.

I think it’s important that women stand up for themselves in these situations, these guys should not get away with what they do, and I’d love it if every single one of them was made to pay for what they did. Unfortunately, the way the world works is, it can be us who comes off worst for that. It is all too easy for these guys to spin a line that we are trouble. OP should do exactly what you said, and take legal advice, find out what her options are, but should also consider what the unintended consequences might be.

Most employers only expect a reference confirming dates of employment.

All employers are required to give a fair and accurate reference. Meaning your current employer can’t bad mouth you and expect not to have repercussions.

If you resigned, you can take your Employer down the tribunal route. You will need a union or solicitor to advise you.

You are not unemployable, you left an unreasonable employer. If asked at interview, you only need say you chose to leave for better prospects.

Just brave it out. If you’re confident about it, you will be ok! I think you’re making more of the reference than you need to. Literally, if they check, all they can ask is if you worked there between so and so dates.

I don't think a reference will be a barrier. No one here can tell you for sure but in every single job me and my DH have taken, references have simply confirmed that the person has been employed for the stated period. Character references are very much a thing of the past. Of course, if the manager is truly a psycho he can call someone up and shit talk about you but it's very unlikely as he won't want to attract attention to the situation, he would much rather you go.

All you can do is apply for jobs and see how you go. Good luck!

The boys will be boys attitude is very much still there. I have experienced it continuously in my now 12 years of working (law). Sorry. And in my experience, trying to complain about it, as admirable as it is, will not get the victim the result she wants. It's a horrible depressing unfair world.

I’m sorry this happened. It’s shit.

Always avoid employment tribunal’s, if you can help it, just move on quickly to another job. Going legal will make you unemployable, for many companies.

If you’re asked about why you left, be vague and say you wanted to get more experience, exposure to different processes etc as you had been there for a long time.

Yes I have no problem with the reference side of things at all. That will be overcome fairly simply. However she should pursue sexual harassment to the fullest extent. Things are a lot different these days and the boys will be boys attitude no longer flies!

That depends on the job. I worked in a terrible toxic law firm as my first job and I had a former colleague do this and she got pennies in comparison to what she was earning and she found the whole thing an incredibly difficult and drawn out process. I chose to leave that same firm without raising any complaints and I found I had a lot more choice of employers and I moved on quickly. That place is a bad memory I barely think about anymore.

References are not what they used to be anymore. They will confirm you worked there from x to y date and they may say whether you took sick leave, but you can explain that away, plenty of people have to take sick leave.

Depending on what your industry is, I think you may have be placing way too much weight on the idea of references. First of all, no-one ever has a reference from their current employer when they look for a new job, because that would mean telling your current employer that you are looking to leave before you have been offered the other job. No one expects you to do that.

And many big companies have a policy against giving substantive references anyway - all they will do is confirm dates of employment.

Just get out there and start applying for other jobs. The reference thing probably won’t come up, and if it does, it will only be after the new people have interviewed you and formed their own view of you.

Finally, you current place is probably desperate to see you go without you kicking up a fuss, so probably won’t say anything to spike your chances of another job anyway.

Absolutely terrible advice. Are you her employer? She won't get pennies if she successfully pursues a sexual harassment claim as it falls within sexual discrimination especially where they are failing to take her complaint seriously and making false retaliatory claims.

Consult an employment lawyer ASAP and look for other work at the same time.

Most references only include "Jane Doe worked for us from X to Y date".

This. ⬆️⬆️⬆️

Meet with a recruitment agency. Most of them are ruthless 'very dedicated' and will say anything to get you a job and them their commission.

I'd negotiate an exit package to include a good reference. You want to go, they want you gone, win win all round.

Lots of places don't do proper references, they will just confirm that you worked there and when. That's becoming the norm now in my experience.

My last three jobs haven’t done references. They’re not as routine as they used to be.