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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should residents be able to 'police' sections of their street?

318 replies

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:01

After just being shouted at by an incredibly rude and aggressive woman who barged out of her house to have a go at me for letting my dog wee on a patch of council owned grass at the end of her close I thought I would ask wise Mumsnetters their thoughts.

The woman who took it upon herself to police her street, and also, apparently, takes it upon herself to 'look after' this small patch of grass by planting a few geraniums in the middle, claims that because she looks after it and children play there sometimes I should not let my dog on it. Apparently my husband has "already been told not to use it" by her, so how dare I.

My thoughts are that children play in gardens and parks where dogs go all the time, that this is not her land, and that this is a convenient place for my dog to wee while we temporarily have no garden access due to building work. It is the closest bit of public grass we have, and I am currently injured and can't walk too far (although this is not a visible injury). My dog is prone to UTIs and likes to wee on grass rather than pavement, and often refuses to go if there is no grass. The next nearest patch of grass is an extra five minutes away.

This has reminded me of many incidents I've been involved in or heard of over the years, often to do with parking spaces on public highways but outside someone's house.

Should residents be able to 'police' the use of the streets directly in front of or around their home? I think no, so AIBU? If you are one of the people that think I am unreasonable I'd love to hear why, and if you do this on your street do people abide by your demands?

OP posts:
Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:40

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:37

But there is a shortage of verges around here. She goes on it once or twice a day. My husband takes her on longer walks but if he's out I can't go very far at the moment (injury) so I take her there.

Where do you live that there are no other verges or parks? Can't be the uk. You're never 5 minutes from an unkempt patch of council grass in the uk.
And if there is indeed a shortage of verges, don't spoil the one that is actually being used nicely!

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 13:39

So you think barging out of your house shouting and being aggressive is the best way to go about asking if someone could perhaps take their dog pee elsewhere?

Is she shouting at every dog owner?

kids, dogs, cars, whatever, a pubic space isn’t yours no matter how many flowers you stick around it

there is going to be all sorts of piss and shit in that grass

this is intimidation

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:39

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:38

Just have a look at the grass around a lamppost or something. Always dead. Because of all the piss.

I will take a look next time I'm out, but I can't say that I've ever noticed it before.

Always happy to learn something new though, thanks to @SheReallyLikes 😊

TerrierCollector · 04/08/2025 13:39

SoManyTshirts · 04/08/2025 13:04

Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Nobody likes their immediate environment stinking of piss.
I’m old enough to remember when dogs were taught to pee in the gutter, not express preferences.

You know there'll be rats, rabbits, mice, and all manner of other animals pissing and shitting on it, right?

huffdragon · 04/08/2025 13:39

anniegun · 04/08/2025 13:35

Using public spaces as dog toilets is incredibly anti social.

Agree.

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:38

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:36

Well, I've owned dogs for over 20 years and my grass hasn't turned brown so I'm just saying that it's not my experience of dog's weeing on grass.

Just have a look at the grass around a lamppost or something. Always dead. Because of all the piss.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/08/2025 13:37

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:36

Well, I've owned dogs for over 20 years and my grass hasn't turned brown so I'm just saying that it's not my experience of dog's weeing on grass.

Mine does. There is about 20 brown patches in the grass of my back garden.

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:37

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:29

Why must your dog wee on a small patch of grass that someone is maintaining and where children play? Just take you dog anywhere else for a piss. There's no shortage of crappy verges about, pick a different one.
If your dog usually wees in the garden is it now weeing on this verge multiple times a day? In which case it will kill the grass...

But there is a shortage of verges around here. She goes on it once or twice a day. My husband takes her on longer walks but if he's out I can't go very far at the moment (injury) so I take her there.

OP posts:
huffdragon · 04/08/2025 13:37

Whiningatwine · 04/08/2025 13:13

She's crackers. You don't get to plant something on public land and therefore claim it as your own.

My council allows you to adopt tree pits and plant them up but you have to apply. Lots are planted up around here, mostly to stop dogs crapping on them.

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:36

SheReallyLikes · 04/08/2025 13:35

It can though, if it’s too acidic

Ok, well that's makes sense. I guess my dogs don't have acidic pee then.

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:36

This is why we can't have nice things. Someone takes it upon themselves to care for or improve their area and someone else thinks they are entitled to spoil it.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/08/2025 13:36

Bring a large flask to rinse it, if you use the same spot.
Piss smells.

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:36

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:33

Of course wee turns grass brown. Especially when it's a lot of it in a small area and it's the summer!

Well, I've owned dogs for over 20 years and my grass hasn't turned brown so I'm just saying that it's not my experience of dog's weeing on grass.

SheReallyLikes · 04/08/2025 13:35

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:32

It's never turned my grass brown, so maybe we'll just need to agree we've had different experiences of dog wee on grass!

It can though, if it’s too acidic

anniegun · 04/08/2025 13:35

Using public spaces as dog toilets is incredibly anti social.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/08/2025 13:34

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:32

It's never turned my grass brown, so maybe we'll just need to agree we've had different experiences of dog wee on grass!

Did ours. Parson Russel Terrier. Numerous dead patches. Took a good while to recover after she died at 13.

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:34

BurntBroccoli · 04/08/2025 13:32

Dog pee does stink, especially if many dogs use the same spot and it hasn’t rained.

It's currently raining, for what it's worth.

OP posts:
Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:33

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:32

It's never turned my grass brown, so maybe we'll just need to agree we've had different experiences of dog wee on grass!

Of course wee turns grass brown. Especially when it's a lot of it in a small area and it's the summer!

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 04/08/2025 13:33

NebulouslyContemporaneous · 04/08/2025 13:29

“look £3 of planted flowers this bit’s mine now”

Lolol, that sounds like the exact grumpy neighbour equivalent of a dog weeing on a piece of land to claim it as their territory Grin

She isn't sat out there with a deckchair claiming the as hers, is she? Clearly the local kids have been enjoying playing there without any fuss. She's just asking you not to ruin it.

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:33

verycloakanddaggers · 04/08/2025 13:27

No one thinks the pee will destroy the grass Hmm

So what's the problem then?

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:32

verycloakanddaggers · 04/08/2025 13:23

I think you need to ask yourself why you need to win this petty fight.

The woman's tried to make something a bit nicer, you want her to accept your dog's right to pee on it.

Whilst the law is on your side, I think you're the nightmare neighbour here.

It's not about winning in any way. I was trying to understand the mindset. It's so petty and illogical, and really quite ridiculous to treat people how she spoke to me. I haven't decided whether I'll be going back to the patch of grass with my dog yet. But based on the extreme level of the Mumsnet responses it's obviously highly emotive issue.

And as an aside, I just spoke with my husband. No one has ever spoken to him about this. So she lied to me about that. What the point of that was I don't know.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 13:32

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 04/08/2025 13:27

But teenagers haven't ripped them up, the op and her husband are taking their dog out of their home to that specific patch of land to piss all over it.

Haven been ripped up yet? And they might not

but you can’t plant a what couple of cheap plug in plants and claim ownership

how likely is it the OP is the only dog walker who’s dog pees there?

dog piss sinks into the soil

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:32

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/08/2025 13:26

It does. Turns it brown.

It's never turned my grass brown, so maybe we'll just need to agree we've had different experiences of dog wee on grass!

SheReallyLikes · 04/08/2025 13:32

We have dogs, but I’m always astounded by fellow dog walkers who let their dogs wet on other peoples property, walls, bins and cars, it’s disgraceful, and attracts other dogs.

BurntBroccoli · 04/08/2025 13:32

Dog pee does stink, especially if many dogs use the same spot and it hasn’t rained.

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