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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should residents be able to 'police' sections of their street?

318 replies

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:01

After just being shouted at by an incredibly rude and aggressive woman who barged out of her house to have a go at me for letting my dog wee on a patch of council owned grass at the end of her close I thought I would ask wise Mumsnetters their thoughts.

The woman who took it upon herself to police her street, and also, apparently, takes it upon herself to 'look after' this small patch of grass by planting a few geraniums in the middle, claims that because she looks after it and children play there sometimes I should not let my dog on it. Apparently my husband has "already been told not to use it" by her, so how dare I.

My thoughts are that children play in gardens and parks where dogs go all the time, that this is not her land, and that this is a convenient place for my dog to wee while we temporarily have no garden access due to building work. It is the closest bit of public grass we have, and I am currently injured and can't walk too far (although this is not a visible injury). My dog is prone to UTIs and likes to wee on grass rather than pavement, and often refuses to go if there is no grass. The next nearest patch of grass is an extra five minutes away.

This has reminded me of many incidents I've been involved in or heard of over the years, often to do with parking spaces on public highways but outside someone's house.

Should residents be able to 'police' the use of the streets directly in front of or around their home? I think no, so AIBU? If you are one of the people that think I am unreasonable I'd love to hear why, and if you do this on your street do people abide by your demands?

OP posts:
Thanksman · 04/08/2025 14:00

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:56

The thing is that she wasn't asking though, she was rudely and aggressively shouting to intimidate me.

Is this mainly about her attitude rather than the piece of grass then?

Personally, as it’s only for a limited period of time and for future neighbourly relations, I’d avoid that piece of grass,

TicklishAzurePombear · 04/08/2025 13:59

SoManyTshirts · 04/08/2025 13:04

Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Nobody likes their immediate environment stinking of piss.
I’m old enough to remember when dogs were taught to pee in the gutter, not express preferences.

You mean the good old days when you'd see dog shit turn white on the paths because no one picked it up? Those polite dogs?

Jojimoji · 04/08/2025 13:58

SoManyTshirts · 04/08/2025 13:04

Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Nobody likes their immediate environment stinking of piss.
I’m old enough to remember when dogs were taught to pee in the gutter, not express preferences.

I'm no spring chicken, but I don't remember dogs being taught to pee in the gutter at all .

I think the smell of dog piss on concrete guttering would be way worse than on grass.

DeLaRuiz · 04/08/2025 13:58

I absolutely love to hear that there are still valiant women trying to maintain a pleasant environment for everyone, planting flowers and taking good care.
Ive Been to areas that used to be beautiful and are now bleak and neglected. Nobody benefits from lack of effort in communities.

user1471523071 · 04/08/2025 13:58

I used to have this scenario in my previous house. We had a stretch of council-owned strip of grass in front of our garden where dog owners would let their dogs toilet. Of course nothing we could do, but we did plant some bushes on our side for privacy. Most would pick-up, but not all and I had to keep on reminding my kids to never walk on that grass as they could step in poo. Also if the bins were out, some dog owners would let their dogs wee on the bins which was pretty disgusting. The dog wees did turn the grass brown and it did look awful. We were so near a park and I could never understand the type of owner who would let their dog toilet right outside someone's house. Lack of dog training perhaps.

Digdongdoo · 04/08/2025 13:57

CircularMotionDementedThrustingGuy · 04/08/2025 13:55

It won't stink of piss though. Have you ever gone into a park or an outdoors space and thought 'Christ, it stinks of dog piss!'?
I don't believe you would have. Do you also therefore smell the fox piss too? Not poo.. piss.

don't you have bins in your immediate outdoor space? They would smell more than a dog wee.

I think you're trying to be difficult as your reasoning is very flaky.

Verges that are toileted repeatedly absolutely can stink of piss! Of course a concentration of urine has potential to smell.

TicklishAzurePombear · 04/08/2025 13:57

Serpentstooth · 04/08/2025 13:09

YABU and antisocial. Take your dog elsewhere and don't be so bloody

  1. Entitled
  2. Lazy.

Yes, please un-injure yourself OP. At least it's only temporary, and you're not long term lazy like wheelchair and cane users.🙄

Yanbu, people are insane. I'm really confused by those saying to let them piss in gutters, do they really want animals standing in the roads causing accidents or do they the pee that stands on concrete around it will smell better than in grass?!

HeddaGarbled · 04/08/2025 13:57

I’m with your neighbour. A nice patch of grass that children play on shouldn’t be used as a dogs’ toilet.

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:56

verycloakanddaggers · 04/08/2025 13:15

She's asking you to take your dog elsewhere to toilet so that kids can play there.

Do you have a good reason to say no? Can't your dog just be kept off that verge?

Edited

The thing is that she wasn't asking though, she was rudely and aggressively shouting to intimidate me.

OP posts:
CircularMotionDementedThrustingGuy · 04/08/2025 13:55

SoManyTshirts · 04/08/2025 13:04

Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Nobody likes their immediate environment stinking of piss.
I’m old enough to remember when dogs were taught to pee in the gutter, not express preferences.

It won't stink of piss though. Have you ever gone into a park or an outdoors space and thought 'Christ, it stinks of dog piss!'?
I don't believe you would have. Do you also therefore smell the fox piss too? Not poo.. piss.

don't you have bins in your immediate outdoor space? They would smell more than a dog wee.

I think you're trying to be difficult as your reasoning is very flaky.

BeTaupeShaker · 04/08/2025 13:54

Pamcakey · 04/08/2025 13:52

This thread is bonkers. People are really so offended about dog pee?

It’s not the neighbours grass so it’s none of her business.

Shall we start to let me pee everywhere as well

user1499114292 · 04/08/2025 13:54

Carry on using the verge, but take water to pour over the wee spot, a 2 or 4 pint milk carton would be easy to fill and carry , and I’d suggest you’d be obvious about it.
wee can smell, and burn the grass, and it feels this could be a possible conciliatory action?

BeTaupeShaker · 04/08/2025 13:54

I saw on Spain you have to water down your dog wee. It's actually a great idea

Pamcakey · 04/08/2025 13:52

This thread is bonkers. People are really so offended about dog pee?

It’s not the neighbours grass so it’s none of her business.

verycloakanddaggers · 04/08/2025 13:51

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:48

She does sometimes poo there, but this is rare as she normally does that on a longer walk with my husband. I always bag it, and she has very neat poos that don't leave a trace.

This is a big drip feed, so perhaps you're just goading us!

BridgetofKildare · 04/08/2025 13:51

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:48

She does sometimes poo there, but this is rare as she normally does that on a longer walk with my husband. I always bag it, and she has very neat poos that don't leave a trace.

So your original description of the scenario was misleading. And as for the very neat poos…..

Crunched · 04/08/2025 13:50

It does. Turns it brown. I thought that was not the case with male dog wee. I've only ever had males and have never had brown patches.

verycloakanddaggers · 04/08/2025 13:48

Headingtowardsdivorce · 04/08/2025 13:33

So what's the problem then?

Because she's trying to make it a garden area, not a dog toilet area.

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:48

BridgetofKildare · 04/08/2025 13:41

How do you ensure that your dog only pees there? First thing in the morning, first access to grass. Does it in fact poo there as well? If not, where does it poo? Somewhere else? In which case surely it could pee there too. Or in the gutter? In which case the same applies.

Is the woman really complaining about dog owners allowing their animals to poo on the grass and then failing to pick it up. We have this where we live and I regularly observe dog owners (or their kids who are walking the dogs) having a quick look round before scurrying off without removing the offending matter.

Just gross.

She does sometimes poo there, but this is rare as she normally does that on a longer walk with my husband. I always bag it, and she has very neat poos that don't leave a trace.

OP posts:
Jojimoji · 04/08/2025 13:45

There is a patch of public land right next to my house.
Used for dog wees by many pooches.
Probably mice, rats, hedgehogs, stray cats, birds etc use it too.
It rains every now and again, so doesn't stink.
It belongs to absolutely EVERYONE who pays taxes, so I would never dream of running outside and shouting at people to tell them off.

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:45

SparklyGlitterballs · 04/08/2025 13:19

Legally she can't tell you whether you can or cannot use the grass for your dog. However I can sort of understand her viewpoint. She's trying to keep the bit of grass looking nice and dog urine can cause grass to go brown.

You seem to have a perfect storm of issues - your mobility problem, no garden access temporarily, your dog's UTI - that all mean you NEED to use this bit of grass. Maybe for the short period of disruption either your DH walks the dog to the further bit of grass or, if you have a car, drive a few minutes to the nearest park to let your dog do its business.

Your right about the combination of issues. This hasn't come up before because we've been living very differently before, as we will be in a week or so. If she'd been polite and chatted she maybe could have understood the very temporary need, but when I tried to explain she just kept shouting and being rude and verbally aggressive. I barely got a word in.

It's a very quiet road and I think the grass sees maybe three dogs a day, if that. I've also never seen a child on it.

OP posts:
columnatedruinsdomino · 04/08/2025 13:43

I think when people make an effort to make the street look nice it's upsetting for them to see dogs pissing on it. For the sake of neighbourly-ness I would acknowledge and avoid that bit of grass. Plenty of other grass and walls for the dog to make its mark.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/08/2025 13:42

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 13:39

So you think barging out of your house shouting and being aggressive is the best way to go about asking if someone could perhaps take their dog pee elsewhere?

Is she shouting at every dog owner?

kids, dogs, cars, whatever, a pubic space isn’t yours no matter how many flowers you stick around it

there is going to be all sorts of piss and shit in that grass

this is intimidation

Not necessarily. Everyone around here is happy to barge it when someone ignores their dog poo. Urine, not so much.
As a result we don't have a lot of dog shit around. Still too much.

BridgetofKildare · 04/08/2025 13:41

How do you ensure that your dog only pees there? First thing in the morning, first access to grass. Does it in fact poo there as well? If not, where does it poo? Somewhere else? In which case surely it could pee there too. Or in the gutter? In which case the same applies.

Is the woman really complaining about dog owners allowing their animals to poo on the grass and then failing to pick it up. We have this where we live and I regularly observe dog owners (or their kids who are walking the dogs) having a quick look round before scurrying off without removing the offending matter.

Just gross.

BauhausOfEliott · 04/08/2025 13:40

You and your dog have just as much right to use a patch of council-owned land as your neighbour and her kids. Just because she has chosen to 'maintain' it, that doesn't mean it belongs to her and it doesn't mean she can tell other people, including dog walkers, not to use it.

People are being absurd to whine about a dog weeing on the ground. That patch of ground will get pissed on constantly by foxes, cats, hedgehogs and rats all night. Animals and birds piss and shit on your own lawns all the time without you even knowing it, and on every other green space your child has ever touched.

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