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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should residents be able to 'police' sections of their street?

318 replies

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:01

After just being shouted at by an incredibly rude and aggressive woman who barged out of her house to have a go at me for letting my dog wee on a patch of council owned grass at the end of her close I thought I would ask wise Mumsnetters their thoughts.

The woman who took it upon herself to police her street, and also, apparently, takes it upon herself to 'look after' this small patch of grass by planting a few geraniums in the middle, claims that because she looks after it and children play there sometimes I should not let my dog on it. Apparently my husband has "already been told not to use it" by her, so how dare I.

My thoughts are that children play in gardens and parks where dogs go all the time, that this is not her land, and that this is a convenient place for my dog to wee while we temporarily have no garden access due to building work. It is the closest bit of public grass we have, and I am currently injured and can't walk too far (although this is not a visible injury). My dog is prone to UTIs and likes to wee on grass rather than pavement, and often refuses to go if there is no grass. The next nearest patch of grass is an extra five minutes away.

This has reminded me of many incidents I've been involved in or heard of over the years, often to do with parking spaces on public highways but outside someone's house.

Should residents be able to 'police' the use of the streets directly in front of or around their home? I think no, so AIBU? If you are one of the people that think I am unreasonable I'd love to hear why, and if you do this on your street do people abide by your demands?

OP posts:
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TheCheekyCyanHelper · 09/08/2025 07:51

carpool · 06/08/2025 22:35

Apparently female dog wee turns the grass brown. Male dog wee doesn't.
According to DH anyway not sure how he knows - we don't have a dog.

He's not right, it's diet based.

DiscoBob · 07/08/2025 10:26

FairKoala · 06/08/2025 22:49

So it is ok for fox wee, cat wee, bird poop but not dog wee.

Dog owners can control a lot of things their dogs do but when they want to go they will go especially when they see a nice bit of grassed verge

I can’t believe some of the responses. All those saying that this woman is right to keep people off a piece of land owned by the local council and all residents in the borough are paying through their council tax for it to be maintained.
Would you think if someone came onto your front garden and started planting flowers then screamed at you to not use your front garden. Would you comply.

Or are you someone who is happy to give away property owned by others but if someone tries to take your land then you wouldn’t allow it.

No I'm not that type of person. Why would you think I was? I don't understand some of the responses on here either!

chattyness · 07/08/2025 07:45

naffusername · 06/08/2025 23:21

Carry a washing up liquid bottle with water and a tiny bit of soap in it. Squirt over dog urine.

Ends the drama. Seen it done all over Malta and Spain.

Soapy water kills the grass, plain water is enough to dilute it and wash it away

chattyness · 07/08/2025 07:44

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/08/2025 22:55

That’s actually quite interesting. Off to see if it’s true.

It's not true, I've got a male dog he turns the grass brown where he wees

naffusername · 06/08/2025 23:21

Carry a washing up liquid bottle with water and a tiny bit of soap in it. Squirt over dog urine.

Ends the drama. Seen it done all over Malta and Spain.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/08/2025 22:56

Sorry, he’s wrong. Sex of the pooch is irrelevant.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/08/2025 22:55

carpool · 06/08/2025 22:35

Apparently female dog wee turns the grass brown. Male dog wee doesn't.
According to DH anyway not sure how he knows - we don't have a dog.

That’s actually quite interesting. Off to see if it’s true.

FairKoala · 06/08/2025 22:49

DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 20:46

Because dog owners are meant to have control over their pets and do the right thing so their excretions are minimally offensive.

So it is ok for fox wee, cat wee, bird poop but not dog wee.

Dog owners can control a lot of things their dogs do but when they want to go they will go especially when they see a nice bit of grassed verge

I can’t believe some of the responses. All those saying that this woman is right to keep people off a piece of land owned by the local council and all residents in the borough are paying through their council tax for it to be maintained.
Would you think if someone came onto your front garden and started planting flowers then screamed at you to not use your front garden. Would you comply.

Or are you someone who is happy to give away property owned by others but if someone tries to take your land then you wouldn’t allow it.

carpool · 06/08/2025 22:35

Apparently female dog wee turns the grass brown. Male dog wee doesn't.
According to DH anyway not sure how he knows - we don't have a dog.

DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 20:46

FairKoala · 06/08/2025 19:32

Why would you when said piece of grass is probably used nightly by foxes and all other wild and domesticated animals

Because dog owners are meant to have control over their pets and do the right thing so their excretions are minimally offensive.

Icanttakethisanymore · 06/08/2025 19:54

Obviously your dog is ‘allowed’ to wee there but I’d take it somewhere else if I were you.

chattyness · 06/08/2025 19:50

She decided to plant geraniums on ground that isn't hers, most probably to deter people from taking their dogs to the loo. Unfortunately for her she won't stop the cats or local wildlife from using it. We have a similar patch of grass on the corner next to my house, it gets lots of dog walkers using it & cats Most of the owners pick up the poop , the wee sinks into the ground, we can't smell it and we're right next to it so she's talking bollocks. The geranium woman is being unreasonable. What you could do OP is take a bottle of water with you to pour over the dog wee and that will dilute the strength so it doesn't burn the grass. If she starts shouting at you, film her !

FairKoala · 06/08/2025 19:43

catmum44 · 06/08/2025 14:30

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Someone evidently cares for that small patch, and dog urine is toxic to grass and plants so your dogs urine will spoil it's appearance - causing yellow burn patches. Sounds like you are talking about a small patch so is it really so hard to keep your dog off it assuming it's on a lead?

The council care for it. They mow it. If anything like the council around an area I used to live. Those geraniums will be mown down. The mower person has a job to do in a certain amount of time and they mow that patch of grass whether there are geraniums on it or not

FairKoala · 06/08/2025 19:32

DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 16:18

Why can't people train the dog to piss into the kerb near a drain? I wouldn't ever encourage my dog to piss on flowers that were clearly planted by someone to make the area pleasant.
Why is dog piss seen as acceptable all over the bloody place?

Why would you when said piece of grass is probably used nightly by foxes and all other wild and domesticated animals

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 06/08/2025 19:24

catmum44 · 06/08/2025 14:30

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Someone evidently cares for that small patch, and dog urine is toxic to grass and plants so your dogs urine will spoil it's appearance - causing yellow burn patches. Sounds like you are talking about a small patch so is it really so hard to keep your dog off it assuming it's on a lead?

Only if the dog pees there every day is that true. Grow up.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 06/08/2025 19:22

Hmm1234 · 05/08/2025 20:34

I like this or had no idea dogs once peed in the gutter would make life so much more pleasant if mine knew how to do this

Because they didn't. This is was an idea created by their imagination or to troll people. Dogs have always peed whereever they wanted. Its not something you can control.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 06/08/2025 19:20

Spinmerightroundbaby · 05/08/2025 18:37

This.

This was never a thing. And where do you think all the wild animals pee?

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 06/08/2025 19:18

llizzie · 06/08/2025 00:20

Why don't you buy a square (as big as you can carry) of artificial grass, let the dog use it, then take up up, put it in a bag and wash it for next time?

This is ridiculous. Dogs pee on their walks, like they are supposed to. In the grass. It doesn't make anything smell, and it washes away the next time it rains or someone waters.

DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 16:18

FairKoala · 04/08/2025 16:58

But the council are just going to mow them down. She needs to understand that planting flowers on public land doesn’t mean she can police what happens on that land.

Why can't people train the dog to piss into the kerb near a drain? I wouldn't ever encourage my dog to piss on flowers that were clearly planted by someone to make the area pleasant.
Why is dog piss seen as acceptable all over the bloody place?

KimberleyClark · 06/08/2025 15:35

HerdMentality · 04/08/2025 13:18

If kids play on public grass surely it’s done in the knowledge that some dog might have peed on it?

Your neighbour is being unreasonable.

This. Plus the amount of rain we get in this country means it’s not going to stink of piss for very long. And it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that a human has pissed there on their way home from the pub.

Abitofalark · 06/08/2025 15:25

Wolfpa · 04/08/2025 16:58

To answer your question residents shouldn’t be able to police sections of their street, everyone has different standards and who is to say that the particular resident is doing what is best for the street or have they just decided to make someone’s life difficult because they don’t like them.

Are you sure the ground you are taking your dog on is communal? I own a patch of grass round the side of my house that is outside the garden wall, it really annoys me that people allow their dogs to treat it like a toilet. I have asked some to not do it as I own the land and I have received varying responses from people who weren’t aware it was private land who have stopped to people who have told me they have no control over their dogs toilet habits.

I am currently debating digging the whole lot up and either putting gravel down or wildflowering it.

Some here who have similar have planted thorny shrubs such as pyracantha, also called firethorn, which is a dense prickly evergreen, or berberis or hawthorn. Hawthorn loses its leaves in winter. You can keep them low with regular cutting or high if you want, depending on the layout. Pyracantha is fast growing. If you put gravel, they'll still use it as a toilet, no? Same with flowers.

Feelinglost10 · 06/08/2025 15:08

StreetStrife · 04/08/2025 13:25

I think this is the gist of it. She is 'that' neighbour.

I can't believe the aggression in some of the posts. Well, I can, it's Mumsnet. "Everything that's wrong with this world", "Entitled. Lazy". Some people are bizarre.

This site is full of weirdos honestly half of them sit there bored with no life and get gobby on here cos it gives them a wide sense of excitement.

it’s your dog and it can pee where ever it likes so long as it’s legal, ignore anyone else! Foxes, cats, rats, mice, birds will all be peeling on it! Your dog isn’t making a difference. Maybe some people don’t want children playing on the grass because they may want to chill and not hear screaming and screeching or balls being bounced - but tough. Life happens. And so does dog pee!

Feelinglost10 · 06/08/2025 15:02

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/08/2025 13:11

Can’t you train your dog to pee in your garden or in a gutter?

Do to pee in a gutter yano😂😂😂. It’s a bloody dog. You do realise that rats, cats, mice, etc will all be peeing on it? U will also have birds peeing n pooping from the sky. A dog really isn’t going to make a difference

catmum44 · 06/08/2025 14:30

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Someone evidently cares for that small patch, and dog urine is toxic to grass and plants so your dogs urine will spoil it's appearance - causing yellow burn patches. Sounds like you are talking about a small patch so is it really so hard to keep your dog off it assuming it's on a lead?

Itcantbetrue · 06/08/2025 12:09

OP I'm sure the thread has morphed into something else entirely now like should dogs pee on the moon or planting geraniums is a health hazard .
My head says she should not shout at you of course and you can't really help where dog goes to loo.

However on the other hand I think our environment plays a huge part in our emotional and mental health and this lady has made the effort to put time and work in to make this area look nicer and imagine if every road had someone like her getting scrappy unloved bits of land and turning them into something loved and pretty.
So my heart says ...as upsetting as it was...forgive her ,look at the higher picture and try and avoid that patch of grass.

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