Husband and Childcare?

Hmm I am split on this. When my kids were younger I always wanted to be doing something and taking the kids out. I also only work term time so I am home with the children throughout all the holidays. I don't think I appreciated the fact that my husband only gets 22 days off a year, so while I was keen to always be out and about, he was quite happy (and still is) to be at home.
Mine are now older and it's more of a challenge to get them out, but I can see it from his perspective that with his limited time off he doesn't want to be doing things.
Also I feel like I am more of the planner and will find things to do, but there are other household things he will do that balances things out.
You say he would normally do something on a Friday, so why didn't he do that last week?

He is the at home parent for a day a week while the op works :(. But I agree- you should come up with something for him to do with the child on his own, and say I’m going to rest, my blood pressure went through the roof at you making not one but two completely unsuitable suggestions- that your heavily pregnant wife go climbing near waterfalls, and that your wife and your toddler go out to ‘danger to life’ conditions. You go out and practice keeping jsut the 2yo alive, you clearly can’t possibly keep both of us safe and alive so I’ll stay here and look after myself.

When I get time off work, I don’t want to do stuff and go places because that’s normal life. I want to get up slowly, wear PJs, and potter catching up around the house.

But-

I don’t have a toddler. So either tell him the toddler needs walking so get her out and about while you stay in and rest, or go out and leave him to it so he ‘gets’ it.

He's lazy and stupid. You should have married someone on the same level as you, emotionally, intellectually, and in terms of career ambition/progression.

I wouldn't be happy with his sub-par contribution to family life.

So the 2 things he 'suggested' are things you can't really do: climb or put on a wetsuit yourself.

He really is leaving it all to you to sort, isn't he.

I'd leave him with the DCs for the rest of the day and go out and get some you time.

You should have gone out and left him to it with the toddler!

Oh, that's a bit crap of him.

I assume you always do the planning? Does he normally do stuff with your child or do you do it all? If you do it, he probably hasn't got a clue what's on and what's suitable. You've learned how to find stuff out, he hasn't bothered.

For the time being, he probably isnt going to plan well enough. So you plan something for him to do and shove him out the door with child. Do it regularly and he'll start building up knowledge of what's going on locally so then in a few months you can step back on the planning.

Yes, it's mollycoddling him. But you probably don't want a massive row while pregnant, so I'd personally go for the smoother path.

I make a point of regularly pushing my DH out with the children. Honestly he'd just sit on his laptop all summer otherwise. Generally i make a suggestion but he's able to make a counter offer if there's something he'd rather take them too. He hates soft play so I suggest that to make him put thought into alternatives!

She doesn’t say he can’t read? Or talk to people? So why doesn’t he know these things? Do they all speak in a language he doesn’t know locally? Mystifying.

He sounds useless. What had he planned to do with his five days off work? Sit on the sofa and watch you walk in and out of the door with DC? Or be ferried around as an extra child to the activities you'd planned.

I'm amazed you got to day five, to be honest. I'd take the day for yourself, go and get a massage, and meet a friend for dinner or go to the cinema. When you get back don't feel guilty, tell him that he is about to get the shock of his life if he doesn't come alive and pull his finger out, you are about to be parents to two children, and you need a partner not a sack of spuds.

No doubt she’s aware these things exist because she’s taken the time and effort to research it. Why can’t he do that?

Why couldn't they go climbing while you watched? If the weather is a risk to life why have you gone out but said no when he suggested it?
Tbh if I had come up with two activities and been told no to both of them I wouldn't bother suggesting anything either.
Sounds like you were going to say no to everything so you could moan at him. And neither of you come off particularly well in this. You both know your child is bored being at home. You are bored being at home. You are an adult so able to go out but you have let your child stay at home bored for another day. I suspect if your husband does something with your child that will be wrong too.

Well presumably he can find out this stuff just like the OP did. It's not like only mums get memos about what's happening in the area for kids.

If you’re aware of all this going on why not suggest it?
Obviously your husband doesn’t know these things exist!
My husband would always take our 3 off for a walk or to the park and I’d take them to activities because I knew where and what time they were going to be happening!

YANBU.
It’s partly the ‘mental load’ thing, but also it’s better for his relationship with his kids if he can figure out things to do with them and also of course wants to spend time with them. I think many parents (of both sexes) can struggle when kids are very small, especially preverbal, but yours is at an age when they’re starting to be interested in so many things - often quite simple ones will do.

What do you all do when you’re at home all day with the toddler? Is he playing with her/doing activities with her or just chilling while she amuses herself? I can’t even imagine being stuck at home for days on end with a 2 year old 😬. The odd day is fine, but we’d all be climbing the walls after a prolonged period of it.

Stay out all day.
Nip this laziness in the bud now, it has gone on far too long.
Grabbing snacks, a rug a stroller and heading off to the nearest playground/park is what parents do every day to get fresh air into kids.
It doesn't have to cost anything.

He sounds a bit bloody useless to be honest. Has he actually done activities with your little one while you’ve all been indoors? Baking? Painting? Role play? Etc etc.

Not sure why people are making excuses, given that DH has less time with your child overall, I would expect a good parent to have been looking forward to having some extended time off with their child, and planning things to do together to get some quality time, even if that was staying in colouring etc!
He literally hasnt thought about it and has left it to you because he sees you as a default parent, which is problematic.
If OP organises 95% of the 'fun stuff' its not unreasonable to expect DH to get off his arse and do this tiny bit.
And if he wanted to chill, he should have used his words and communicated this long before his leave, with compromise built in. 'I could really do with a day to relax and a day to get xxx job at home done, maybe we could do x and y on the other days and then have a chill day at home on the 5th day?' Its not bloody rocket science.

You’re not being unreasonable.
My DH is like this, no imagination for family activities at all.
I just plan what I want to do with kids and drag him along. If I left it to him, we’d never go anywhere or do anything.
I’d recommend national trust, we’ve got 4 children and it’s something like £12 a month. Take a picnic and it’s a virtually free day out.

He’s not the sole earner, the OP stayed clearly in her post that she works in a school.