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Original poster

To call acquaintance out for lying about background?

36 replies

Tarakano · 04/08/2025 09:55

I have an acquaintance/friend who it turns out, has been lying about their background. This wouldn’t matter but for the fact this friend consistently looks down their nose at others, even me, for coming from a regular background.

Friend had told me they grew up in rural Sussex “a the family home” and attended a local private day school because her father couldn’t stand him boarding (like he had done).

I found out, through a chance encounter with someone who went to her school, that actually she grew up in outer London/Essex - near Woodford. She also went to the bog standard local comprehensive school. Her parents only moved to Sussex when she went to uni, and live in a new build bungalow (so not “family home” in the sense they wanted me to see).

AIBU to tell friend I met their old school mate and we realised we both knew you?

OP posts:
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DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 13:45

How immature and insecure they must be to feel the need to embellish things like this. They must be very classist/ snobby and be ashamed of their background.

It's a shame but I'm not sure if I'd push it. If I thought it would really humiliate and upset them I'd leave it.

Something bad could've happened there that makes her wish it never happened?

KateBushAgain · 06/08/2025 13:41

I have an acquaintance who is absolutely convinced I’m lying about a boarding school I attended. He has gone so far as buying me an item to mark an event at the school .
I don’t particularly like or respect him enough to explain that the reason I’m sketchy about it is that it was brokered with social services as an alternative to foster care .
None of his beeswax but I quite enjoy his barely concealed anger when he brings it up …again ! Dick 😂

27TimesAway · 06/08/2025 07:05

I would let it go. Like PPs said, it might be that she has had some trauma and is re-creating herself into a preferred version. (Or she might just be a liar). Either way- you know that her word is bollocks and that is good information to keep in mind particularly if you work together.

Calling her out probably won't end well for you. You will just look bitter or vengeful. Or, as she is already a proven liar, she could have even worse abilities within her- and you might be the target.

I understand the temptation though. I know someone who has made some very flamboyant claims about his military service, and is actually a bit of an arsehole. He does not know that DH is good friends with someone who served with him and who has a fair bit to say about his claims. DH is keeping that close to his chest though because there is no benefit to calling him out and you never know how dangerous or vengeful someone who has a loose relation with the truth is.

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 06/08/2025 06:59

Monty27 · 06/08/2025 03:08

It's being bothered about catching someone lying and faking

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People move around. This mutual acquaintance knew them for part of their education (the local comprehensive), doesn't mean the person on question didn't live in Sussex at all growing up. Just because they went to the local comp, it doesn't mean they didn't have any experience of private education.

Whiningatwine · 06/08/2025 03:17

I'd be very careful brining it up. If you know them through work and they didn't go to the school they're claiming they mayve lied on their CV which could open a whole can of worms.

I dont get your issue with the family home comment. Surely this doesn't imply size or anything, just the place a family usually congregates at.

Monty27 · 06/08/2025 03:08

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 21:52

Why are you remotely bothered where they say they grew up?

It's being bothered about catching someone lying and faking

Lurina · 06/08/2025 02:35

Mercurial123 · 05/08/2025 21:51

No it wasn't a joke.

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I’d say you missed it 😉

Laura95167 · 05/08/2025 23:04

I might have some fun with it. Id tell her I bumped into mutal acquaintance without letting on i knew they went to school with her. Watch her squirm

Then next time I saw her, id be asking about the family home, eek wouldnt it be lovely if you both had a little day out there for summer. She could show you the manor...

Mydogisatool · 05/08/2025 22:21

Tarakano · 05/08/2025 22:13

Because she looks down her nose at those who went to state schools, have both parents who work, those who don’t like fine wines, those who go on package holidays.

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If you don’t like her, don’t see her again. It’s daft to let someone keep winding you up. Just cut her out if she gets to you.

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 22:18

Tarakano · 05/08/2025 22:13

Because she looks down her nose at those who went to state schools, have both parents who work, those who don’t like fine wines, those who go on package holidays.

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I seriously couldn't get worked up about it, but if you're so bothered then let her know you have a mutual acquaintance who went to school with her, but i wouldnt do it publically.

PollyBell · 05/08/2025 22:13

Tarakano · 05/08/2025 22:13

Because she looks down her nose at those who went to state schools, have both parents who work, those who don’t like fine wines, those who go on package holidays.

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Ok and? So what

Original poster
Tarakano · 05/08/2025 22:13

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 21:52

Why are you remotely bothered where they say they grew up?

Because she looks down her nose at those who went to state schools, have both parents who work, those who don’t like fine wines, those who go on package holidays.

OP posts:
Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 21:52

Why are you remotely bothered where they say they grew up?

Mercurial123 · 05/08/2025 21:51

Lurina · 05/08/2025 21:44

Surely that was just a joke? A mismatch of your senses of humour maybe.

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No it wasn't a joke.

Lurina · 05/08/2025 21:44

Mercurial123 · 05/08/2025 20:00

Yeah call her out. I have an Irish friend who refers to the family home she grew up in as her ancestral home. It was three bed bungalow in a suburb of Cork.

Surely that was just a joke? A mismatch of your senses of humour maybe.

Mercurial123 · 05/08/2025 20:00

Yeah call her out. I have an Irish friend who refers to the family home she grew up in as her ancestral home. It was three bed bungalow in a suburb of Cork.

ScrambledEggs12 · 05/08/2025 19:55

I'd say something, I can't stand lies.

Cherrysoup · 05/08/2025 19:23

As it’s a work colleague, I think I’d discreetly mention that I’d spoken to your mutual acquaintance and that she’d said that they’d gone to bog standard school together. Very odd for her to lie.

Original poster
Tarakano · 05/08/2025 19:07

What was that?^

OP posts:
Plumis · 05/08/2025 07:30

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Plumis · 05/08/2025 07:30

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Original poster
Tarakano · 04/08/2025 23:36

Tillow4ever · 04/08/2025 11:50

I can see how this might have come up though - it could have been they said they were from town X and OP said “oh I have a friend that grew up there” or OP said they work for company Y and the person said they used to go to school with someone who works there and asks if they’re still there/do they know them.

its not a stretch to see how it could have naturally come up.

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Thanks! Yes, not at all an odd thing to come up in conversation. I mentioned which company I worked for and she said she knew someone working for the same company.

OP posts:
Tillow4ever · 04/08/2025 11:50

Darragon · 04/08/2025 11:11

I find it really odd that you were talking about some random acquaintance with someone you just met. Do you often talk about other people like that? I just can't work out why you'd be talking about someone you don't know that well with someone else you don't know that well unless you're a persistent gossip, in which case maybe the acquaintance got the measure of you and fed you a load of bull to mess with you.

I can see how this might have come up though - it could have been they said they were from town X and OP said “oh I have a friend that grew up there” or OP said they work for company Y and the person said they used to go to school with someone who works there and asks if they’re still there/do they know them.

its not a stretch to see how it could have naturally come up.

Darragon · 04/08/2025 11:11

I find it really odd that you were talking about some random acquaintance with someone you just met. Do you often talk about other people like that? I just can't work out why you'd be talking about someone you don't know that well with someone else you don't know that well unless you're a persistent gossip, in which case maybe the acquaintance got the measure of you and fed you a load of bull to mess with you.

PollyBell · 04/08/2025 10:41

I would say you come across as having more issues than them, but i dont know what the issue with the family home comment is, are you ashamed of your background as this is how ot comes across or you have major chips on your shoulder about something

I dont get them but it is their business and you come across a tad immature to be perfectly honest

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