To not have sex for 8 years because I have small breasts

In the nicest possible way, you need to work on your self esteem.

You’re worried the men you have sex with might be disappointed??? 🤯 Firstly, unless they are blind they won’t be disappointed because they’ll know how big your boobs are before you get undressed. Secondly, unless you are having a ONS or a very casual fling, you would hope that the ‘attraction’ runs a little deeper than the size of your breasts.

If you don’t want to have sex that’s obviously fine but given there are loads of small-boobed women out there in satisfying physical relationships, you must realise it’s possible if you want it?

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read on here.

Whats going on with all the women who are in relationships who have smaller boobs? Their men are fantasizing about bigger boobs and not 100% into them?

The slightest bit of critical thinking would tell you thats not the case.

Its so obvious its a you problem OP. I can't believe you've allowed this to put you off dating for so long!

I'm overweight and I've still never grown beyond an A-cup. I have suffered with insecurity about them at times, but not half as much as insecurities about my personality etc. I've had lots of men. None of them has complained, and I'm sure the one who told me I should wear lipstick and one or two others would have. Some have been fascinated by my nipples. I'm sure some would prefer larger breasts, but that's not so different from preferring a lot of body hair on a man or not, or only men of a particular height range etc.

Don't have sex if you don't want to, but don't let breast size be the thing to stop you.

@Goditsmemargaret Brilliant post, Today 12:47

"You have created a prison for yourself in your own head.

The problem is not your breasts, it's your mind"

A little introspection @islaw3048unfln could help immensely.

This is so bizarre. Not every man prefers big breasts. The same way they don’t all prefer long legs or small bums or blonde hair.

you have internalised something and are projecting it on 50% of the population

This is absolutely bizarre.

I wore size 14-16 clothes when I was younger and had DD breasts. They got a fair bit of male attention mainly because it was the height of the wonderbra era.

I then got very into fitness and shrunk down to a slim size 10 with A-cup breasts. I got lots and lots of male attention. I was (happily attached) bemused by it. It never crossed my mind to wonder if my breasts were disappointing.

But this isn't the problem with your post. You have created a prison for yourself in your own head. You are foregoing your own potential pleasure, shared intimacy and relationships because of a ridiculous theory you've created for yourself.

Go to therapy. This shallowness is a one way street to life long misery. If naked physical appearance is all that matters how are you going to cope in your 40s, 50s and beyond.

The problem is not your breasts, it's your mind. Therapy.

Hmm. I have size C boobs, so definitely something there, but they aren’t massive. However, I don’t care and neither does DH - he’s definitely into bottoms and legs. He will quite openly admit to having no interest in boob size or even shape. So no, not all men care about breasts. And actually a good man will love you for you and not fixate on specific body parts anyway. Therefore I voted YABU.

Okay, well now you're just being offensive.

Either you've been watching too much TV or talking to teenage boys. This is simply not true. I am small chested. I've had various boyfriends and now married. Has never been an issue.

Did you mean to be so rude?

Honestly I think confidence is often what makes someone sexy, irrespective of the specific body type. I’m sure some men do prefer larger breasts, but most either don’t care or may prefer smaller.

It sounds like this is something you need to work on for yourself, perhaps in counselling.

You're being silly. Very few women have the kind of boobs you see in porn, but the vast majority of women don't have a problem finding partners. Do you really think all these women are in relationships with men, who are just settling for subpar boobs?

Perhaps the more likely answer would be that men are attracted to different things. They could even be attracted to both small and large breasts, if could believe it.

so what is it, exactly, you would like us to say to you @islaw3048unfln that would alleviate your concern?

Most people having sex are not just doing it purely for physical features, unless it's a one night stand.... usually there's some kind of spark of mutual mental attraction.

Plenty of people would be thrilled to sleep with someone who had smaller boobs. I think you're hanging around the wrong men.

Yes!

If men didn’t like women with small boobs, then by a process of natural selection, there wouldn’t be any small breasted women left on earth, as only the well endowed women would have partners and go onto procreate.

Most women with larger breasts are also rather plump.

When I was young, slender and a B cup I didn't lack male attention or interest.

I've recently gone down from 36E to 34D and it's such a relief. I can wear cropped tops and non-wired bras.

@islaw3048unfln honestly some men don’t care though. I have quite big boobs and my ex was a right hottie and told me constantly I was beautiful and I should add never looked at other women even though on nights out in busy clubs/pubs he def got eyed up by several. And yet, he never paid any attention to the twins (😭). He adored my ankles(?!) and couldn’t get enough of DTD but I never really felt our sex life fulfilling when parts of me where touch was so important were treated like they didn’t exist.

So there you go, I think it’s as with everything just a media invention and not every man is after the same!

I think typically most men would prefer a slimmer woman and slimmer women naturally have smaller breasts than people who are overweight.

Do some men like porn star style massive boobs? Yeah, but I think most men like the natural girl next door type look in my experience.

It’s clear you have a pretty severe caricature of men built up in your head, OP. Your projections don’t align with reality.

Who has told you men like larger breasts?

Some might, some prefer smaller and some like whatever they can get!