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Original poster

To not have sex for 8 years because I have small breasts

336 replies

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:13

I know men strongly prefer larger breasts, that's what 99% look at, and want, even when the rest of a woman's figure is just straight up and down as long as she has big boobs it's hot/amazing etc to them.

I know I could get laid (men will sleep with anything that isn't Quasimodo), but I don't want to be settled for, a body just to use but that they aren't really turned on by.

So I just don't feel like sex, never in the mood, I don't want to be dating where a man is just eyeing up other bustier women all the time and feeling unsatisfied/wishing there were two balloons up top in bed.

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 04/08/2025 22:37

This is genuinely one of the saddest threads I’ve read on here (if real).

Who gives a toss what men like? Most of them are just happy to be in the presence of a pair of tits.

Thatsnotmynamee · 04/08/2025 22:29

Can't believe this is still dragging on 🍒

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 22:25

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 04/08/2025 13:37

Apologies if my opinion as a man is not welcome here, but, for me, nothing is sexier then a partner having self-confidence.

Men's opinions are welcome, and thank you. I've heard that before, and I can see what people mean by it, but....is it still not nicer to be with a woman whose body you find attractive? I'd actually not like it a man said to me, 'I can overlook this or that part of you because you seem confident'. I'd rather he just thought I was attractive tbh.

OP posts:
schoolsoutforever · 04/08/2025 22:17

I had this hang up as a teenager. But it's just a trope of 80s/90s culture. Look at the 1920s and 1960s - loads of small boobed sex symbols! It's just fashion. Tbh I thought small breasts were back in fashion and it was all massive bums now..? Seriously stop worrying about it and get out there if that's what you want...? Mant men prefer small breasts or just fancy women as people rather than as a breast size.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 04/08/2025 22:14

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YesImaman1100 · 04/08/2025 22:10

I prefer smaller ones... I must be a deviant! 😂

brunettemic · 04/08/2025 22:08

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:18

Which straight men though? Most of them just seem to go on and on about massive ones all the time.

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Mine are a small B cup and DH loves them. Your opinion is complete nonsense if you ask me. Men are attracted to all sorts of different things and when it comes to boobs there’s size, shape, side boob, areola, nipples etc etc.

Some men simply won’t care.

OldLondonDad · 04/08/2025 21:46

I’m firmly in the small breast camp for a few reasons- not going to share the details…

I’d guess it’s about 50/50 for guys who like big breasts vs don’t.

To be honest, I’d also say it tends to be the less decent guys who are into big breasts so you have a great way to filter them out.

This is NOT a problem to stop you dating or having sex.

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:35

Calliopespa · 04/08/2025 16:59

I don't like abs. Truly. It looks like an oil radiator from the 1930s.

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This. It doesn't look masculine or sexy at all in my opinion. Most of hte men with them are too thin and their faces look gaunt.

I like slim men, naturally broad shoulders and bigger arms, but griddle abs I just don't get the appeal.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:34

Crimblecrumble1990 · 04/08/2025 13:32

I mean, most men do like boobs yes. But generally they are attracted to and satisfied by the person, not one aspect of their body… I’m sure my husband isn’t attracted to my acne and I’m not ‘attracted’ to his receding hairline but those things just aren’t relevant.

Having said that, I did have a boob job 10+ years ago, they are still pretty small and not far off what you say yours are now. I love them and would say it was one of the best decisions I have made. I hope if you save up and have it done you are happy and you will likely realise that you were enough all along. (it’s easy to say that all in hindsight though so I get it.)

Thank you. I think the bra size I was measured at is deceptive. People think a C cup is a decent size, which it can be if you're 34C, but when it's a small band size, 28, they actually look like A cups, or maybe small B at best.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:30

ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary · 04/08/2025 13:24

You’re the Sidney Sweeney fan aren’t you?

Not a fan no, she's just everywhere at the moment. Her PR team must be fantastic!

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:27

TorroFerney · 04/08/2025 13:20

So you’ve made a story up basically? This is your feelings of self worth not the fault of all men.

Seem and impression are the key words here.

do you think it’s easier blaming men than your self esteem? Probably some work to do on that?

Edited
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I'm not blaming men, sorry if it came across that way. Even if most men do prefer larger breasts, that still wouldn't be something to 'blame' them for would it? You can't blame someone for having a physical preference they can't help.

I wouldn't expect a skinny, narrow shouldered man to 'blame' me for preferring broad shoulders!

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:24

SecretNameAsImShy · 04/08/2025 13:16

I have HUGE boobs and hate them. You are welcome to some of mine!

Hahaha, women with big boobs who hear me complain always say this to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:21

dairydebris · 04/08/2025 13:08

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read on here.

Whats going on with all the women who are in relationships who have smaller boobs? Their men are fantasizing about bigger boobs and not 100% into them?

The slightest bit of critical thinking would tell you thats not the case.

Its so obvious its a you problem OP. I can't believe you've allowed this to put you off dating for so long!

It might surprising to some people which is why I posted it. I haven't dated because I haven't felt comfortable. Who would want to be settled for or just used? That's what I felt like would just be happening.

I really hope that it wouldn't be case but it's just what I imagine...

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:13

Goditsmemargaret · 04/08/2025 12:47

This is absolutely bizarre.

I wore size 14-16 clothes when I was younger and had DD breasts. They got a fair bit of male attention mainly because it was the height of the wonderbra era.

I then got very into fitness and shrunk down to a slim size 10 with A-cup breasts. I got lots and lots of male attention. I was (happily attached) bemused by it. It never crossed my mind to wonder if my breasts were disappointing.

But this isn't the problem with your post. You have created a prison for yourself in your own head. You are foregoing your own potential pleasure, shared intimacy and relationships because of a ridiculous theory you've created for yourself.

Go to therapy. This shallowness is a one way street to life long misery. If naked physical appearance is all that matters how are you going to cope in your 40s, 50s and beyond.

The problem is not your breasts, it's your mind. Therapy.

Thank you Margaret. I'm actually not afraid of ageing or wrinkles - that's just a natural part of life. I just wanted to be attractive for a bf/DH in my younger years.

OP posts:
Sally690 · 04/08/2025 21:11

islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 15:00

I think the physical attraction part is important when we’re young, 20s 30s and people still look great in their 40s nowadays.

I don’t think the natural ageing process is the same as a flaw when you’re young. We all age and were usually a similar age to our partner; we don’t leave each other a because we get old.

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But why would you think that a man that expects (your idea) of physical perfection at 20 is going to be happy with less than perfection at 50? Why would they not just trade their partner in for a younger model?

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:10

This reply has been deleted

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Are you another person accusing me of being a pervy man? I am not. I'm not sure how many pervy man are hanging around on Mumsnet.

I have what I think is a personal/embarassing issue and I wanted to ask for opinions anonymously, so here I am.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 21:03

Imbusytodaysorry · 04/08/2025 11:37

Instead of denying yourself a healthy natural sex like .
Maybe change your attitude . Be selfish and pick someone your attracted too and focus on that instead of worrying too much on what they think .
Also the men who are noticeably eyeing up large breasts are creeps on my opinion and your better or without them . Not all men are creeps

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I get your point, openly eyeing up any body part in public in creepy. Aren't men who eye up bums, or even legs, also creeps? Not just the boob men 😅

Of course I absolutely don't want to be letched over by a creepy man, I just want to be found attractive behind closed doors. Not all men who are boob/bum men behave like creeps...it's just whatever their preferences are. I was just trying to say that I wanted to be seen as hot by a future bf/DH/date.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 20:59

Tink3rbell30 · 04/08/2025 11:01

Men will sleep with ANYTHING.

That's completely true but it's only because they're willing to settle and use women, and I don't want to be settled for.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 04/08/2025 20:56

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I am 30 and no not asexual, I fancy men. I just don't ever feel like sex because I don't feel womanly or sexy, feel like my body is disappointing.

Sorry I don't get your point about the SM event? I don't even use it anymore. Well aware of the content though as I've seen tonnes and tonnes of phototune/bodytuned videos and images!!

OP posts:
FortheloveofCheesus · 04/08/2025 20:44

Did you post about this like a year ago? Near identical posts? I remember a similar thread by a woman with a major hangup about her cup size.

The issue isn't your breasts, or men's view of them. Its your own perception and worry about it. Men can't be bothered with worried anxious women constantly stressing if their breasts are big enough, its a real turn off.

Learn to accept and enjoy your body type and realise there is no one "dream" body type, men like all different flavours and there are plenty who lust after smaller breasted ladies

Honestly stop stressing about this. Get out and have some sex.

FortheloveofCheesus · 04/08/2025 20:36

LOADS of men are very into lean/slim women with a couple of bee stings...

DaisyDoodler · 04/08/2025 20:34

I find Brad Pitt attractive, however my partner looks absolutely nothing like Brad Pitt but I fancy the absolute pants off him - you can like something in theory but also like something different in reality.

I also don’t look like Angelina Jolie by the way, or Jennifer Aniston, but believe my partner when he tells me he finds me attractive.

if you don’t want sex, that’s one thing, but if it’s because you don’t believe anyone could find you attractive that’s a shame because you’re missing out. The world is made up of all different shapes and sizes and people are capable of liking more than one thing.

Purpleturtle45 · 04/08/2025 20:30

I have smallish boobs, my husband much prefers smaller ones. I am in my 40s now and after going my whole life not liking them, I now love them. They are still perky and not saggy like lots of big boobs!

Lavender14 · 04/08/2025 20:27

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/08/2025 19:12

Thank goodness dh never minded my tiddly little 34 As.

TBH, although I’d have almost killed for a cleavage when I was teens/early 20s, I’m so glad now that I never had whoppers - I look at very well endowed older women now (I’m getting on a bit) and thank heaven I don’t have to cart a massive pair of watermelons about.

Lovely.