To not have sex for 8 years because I have small breasts

My ex said large boobs were usually veiny with big nipples and therefore ugly out of clothes. Mind you, he was a judgmental fuck and there’s a reason he’s my ex.Google famous women with small chests and see how their beauty and confidence is totally unrelated to their chest.

Agree completely. The OP seems to want this thread to continue and continue and continue! Everyone had said pretty much the same but yet it still continues and continues 🙄

I would (and have) turn(ed) down a man if I thought he preferred bigger breasts, simply because I don't want to sleep with men who aren't really into me

And what did you base that thought on? Because you don't listen to anyone telling you that you're wrong. The men you've turned down because you thought they wanted bigger breasts, you couldn't see inside their heads, you just decided you were right.

Deal with whatever is really going on here, because it's not that you keep meeting men obsessed with big breasts who just want to use you /settle for you and your inferior small breasts. It's not.

I'm starting to wonder if this has less to do with breasts per se and more to do with this notion that men have to be salivating over what they consider to be a perfect You.

Maybe you are blaming your breasts when the real issue is you expect too much in terms of adoration.

Perfect people don't exist.

We find them "perfect" when we have love goggles on. If the posters on this thread shared their ideal physical specimens, we wouldn't all agree. Upthread pp mentioned a public figure - I won't say which - as an example of someone who is attractive with small breasts and I thought that personally I don't find them very attractive at all. But clearly they do.

My friend used to obsess that women were ogling her DBF when he had his top off or short shorts on and I would be thinking they were looking askance at his wiry little body and probably ran off to get an anti-nausea tablet. But she thought he was drop dead gorgeous.

I don't think I've ever thought someone was physically "perfect" until I was in a relationship with them and their body became very familiar to me.

As someone who has worked in strip clubs there are loads of men who like smaller breasts. One of the girls who made the most money was on the small size. I say this kindly, but you need to get help for your body issues.

Stop fucking going on about not wanting to be "settled" for. Pages and pages of posters disagreeing with you and you won't accept any of it so what was the point of starting this thread? Go and get some therapy.

I think it might be body dysmorphia.

I agree that there is a bit of difference, but a vital part of size perception is about the principle of visual contrast. So it doesn't matter if the cup size differs between a 28C and, for example a 38C, because the person who is 38C has a much broader torso. The person with 28C is much smaller in the rest of her torso, so her breasts look larger by contrast. Men don't know your bra size, they just know how big your boobs look and nobody is immune from perceiving size via visual contrast.
They also don't know about the cup volume. The human brain won't perceive body parts in isolation, it is constantly comparing them with the rest of your body in order to make a size determination. This is not my opinion, it is science.

we hardly ever look at objects by themselves: our brains automatically seek to compare them to surrounding objects in order to determine their size.

https://www.scienceworld.ca/resource/size-perception/

In the case of the body, people are not comparing a body part to other objects, but to the rest of the body and more specifically to the area of the body surrounding that part.

This is my last attempt at convincing you because I suspect it's hopeless to try. We'll have to agree to disagree. You are clinging to this belief so it must serve some purpose for you. Maybe it's actually a subconscious excuse to avoid dating and sex? Have you ever considered that?

Your view of your body and how you think others view your body and you is totally warped, and you're not listening to anyone so I don't know why you make these threads every so often to not listen to anything anyone says to you.

You're wrong, and you'd benefit from therapy.

I don't think that's it, luv. It's one thing to want to be desired and quite another to close yourself up to experiences you want to have because you are afraid you won't be desired. An obsessive need to have one feature which you believe will make you desirable is a problem. I suspect you might even have a bit of body dysmorphia because didn't you say you were a 28C? A C cup absolutely is not considered small, that's a reality. You have come up with an excuse why it's actually small and respectfully, it's just not true. With a 28 band size you must be quite a tiny lady. Your C cup boobs are going to look bigger on you than they would on a bigger person. Suppose you got implants and got a double D cup to insure they were big enough. You'd look out of proportion and it would be obvious they were fake. The surgeon would probably advise you to go no higher than D in order to look more natural. I do think you should see somebody about this need to have male approval of your breasts and distorted view of your body. I don't say that as criticism, but out of genuine concern for your wellbeing. You deserve to be happy with your body and secure about your worth. What kind of person you are is so much more important to any decent prospective partner (and who wants a boyfriend who isn't a good guy?) than your cup size. The kind of men who would not be attracted to you because of a single physical feature aren't worth having, they're just assholes. You seem like a lovely person, plus you're young and you should be having fun, not hiding away from one of the best parts of life because you fear men will disapprove of your body.🩷

I don't remember all these jokes about small boobs, even when I was more sensitive about having them. Do you think maybe it's like when I got a yellow car, there were suddenly yellow cars everywhere- except there weren't, I was just particularly noticing them because it became a focus for me.

I don’t understand this at all op. I think most of us have things we HATE about our bodies….for me it’s the abundance of facial hair. But when I meet someone I’m attracted to and there’s that chemistry I don’t think ‘oh I can’t take this any further because I’m not physically perfect’.

have you actually met anyone that you have chemistry with in the last 8 years? That you’d like to sleep with?

because if you haven’t then that’s the reason you haven’t had sex.

if you have and you’ve turned them down because of your boob size then, frankly, you’re crackers!

This is so true. When I was at school/uni the boys had a (horrible) phrase about girls they wouldn’t be interested in falling within ‘BOBFOC’. Meaning ‘Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch’. 🤮

Most men prefer slim women with attractive faces. Big boobs with an unattractive face wouldn’t work so the focus on big boobs seems so strange.

You just have to look at lists of most beautiful women in the world - None of them big boobs and ugly faces. Boob size is irrelevant, it’s the faces every single time.

I can’t understand the focus on big boobs. If you’re that bothered, get a boob job problem solved! But remember this, when a man is chatting up a woman in a bar, he’s going to go for the one he’s attracted to facially.

I’m of similar age to you and all I can say is ignore the media! I’ve not noticed the same ridicule if I’m honest but I think you need to start shutting out everyone else’s opinion and focus on you.

A lot of men have said that sexiness come from confidence in being yourself. If implants are what would make you feel more confident then seriously consider it but maybe looking into to some cbt about yourself might be helpful too.

It may not have been worded the same but it was on the same subject I.e. the size of your breasts.

In the other thread you wanted to be what you called a ten out of ten woman and you felt you could never be that because of the size of your breasts, and you remained convinced that all men only desire women with large breasts.

In this thread you're talking about not having sex but fundamentally it's once again really about your misconception that men only find women with large breasts attractive.

You really need to address your mental issues because this obsession about your body is clearly having a seriously negative affect on your life.