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Original poster

To not have sex for 8 years because I have small breasts

336 replies

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:13

I know men strongly prefer larger breasts, that's what 99% look at, and want, even when the rest of a woman's figure is just straight up and down as long as she has big boobs it's hot/amazing etc to them.

I know I could get laid (men will sleep with anything that isn't Quasimodo), but I don't want to be settled for, a body just to use but that they aren't really turned on by.

So I just don't feel like sex, never in the mood, I don't want to be dating where a man is just eyeing up other bustier women all the time and feeling unsatisfied/wishing there were two balloons up top in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:34

CaramelGhost · 03/08/2025 23:22

OP, how old are you? Any man worth his time, doesn't give a sod. Seriously.

I'm 30. I should maybe have been more specific in my post. I'm not talking about men who only value women as a sum of body parts, absolutely not. I'm just talking about being physically sexy and appealing to men; men want to sleep with women they find beautiful and women want to be desirable.

OP posts:
Changeintheweathet · 03/08/2025 23:33

It's not the size. It's the size in proportion to the hips. If anything. This is a crazy conversation.

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:32

Lostworlds · 03/08/2025 23:27

If you don’t want to have sex then fair enough, that’s your choice and no one will question it but you’re just deciding it’s because all men like larger breasts.

I don’t even have pancakes, I have nothing, I’ve always longed for bigger boobs but being in my thirties, I just can’t see it happening now 😂 However, no man has ever said to me that they wish I had bigger boobs. They might have lied to my face but it’s not stopped sex, it’s not put them off, infact most of the men I’ve spoken to have said they prefer the behind than bigger boobs!

Also, I’ve found loads of sexy lingerie which suits smaller breasts perfectly for when I used to feel self conscious about them but I don’t now.

Did the men you slept with give any indication they weren't happy with your chest ever?

OP posts:
Buxusmortus · 03/08/2025 23:32

You're obviously either meeting the wrong type of men or are getting your ideas about what men like from the wrong sources. Lots of men aren't bothered whether a woman has large breasts or not, to a decent man a woman isn't reduced to literally a pair of tits alone.

I come from a family of very small-breasted women for generations, my mother, my daughter, my sisters and I all have small busts, the one with the largest is only an A cup. However we are all attractive, intelligent and interesting women and have never had a problem with men being attracted to us, want to have sex with us, fall in love with us, want to marry us and have children with us.

You're fixating on your breasts completely unnecessarily.

MsDDxx · 03/08/2025 23:32

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:30

I completely get what you're saying, but men seem to care less about being seen as sexy by women. Women want to be desirable and feel desirable and I think that is ok.

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I actually agree with you here, on a personal level as we’re all different.

I feel much sexier now with larger breasts than when they were B cup size in my early 20s.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 03/08/2025 23:32

I can name five of my male friends who prefer smaller breasts

OakleyAnnie · 03/08/2025 23:32

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:20

It just so happens that it's been 8 years to date, I didn't plan it 😅I only posted on AIBU for traffic.

I think the 'unreasonable' part, if you could call it that, was the reason for not wanting sex, because I feel so uncomfortable, unsexy, unwomanly in my body.

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Join a dance class. That might help you feel sexier/ more’in’ your body

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:31

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:22

This is like saying “all women like muscly men” or “all women like men over 6ft”. You MUST know that it just isn’t true?! Surely?

Obviously not all I said most. Whenever we say 'all' it's never right.

OP posts:
KingstonTown · 03/08/2025 23:30

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:26

Oh, of course women (any person) is not just a lump of flesh. That isn't what I meant. I'm not talking about my value as a human being. I'm just talking about being sexy/satisfying to a man.

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But if you are not having sex because you honestly believe that your boobs are small and therefore no man will want you really, then you are indeed saying that women's role is to be a lump of flesh, and that all men are shallow.

Which is a depressing thought pattern.
It's like the "all women want the alpha male" crap. Just look around at all the people with different body shapes who have a partner. Plenty of very slender women have husbands. Is every husband lying about finding their slender wife attractive?

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:30

PInkyStarfish · 03/08/2025 23:23

Imagine a man saying he won’t have sex because he’s got a six inch willy and believes that women only like 10 inch ones so he doesn’t want to have sex or date a woman because she’ll be eyeing up men with bigger willies!

Absolutely ridiculous!

Edited

I completely get what you're saying, but men seem to care less about being seen as sexy by women. Women want to be desirable and feel desirable and I think that is ok.

OP posts:
Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 23:30

What a bizzare post.

Men look at faces and would much rather sleep with an attractive women with small breasts than an unattractive woman with large breasts without a shadow of a doubt.

It’s like posting saying women only like a 6 pack. That’s absolutely nonsense. As long as I fancy his face then I’m hooked as are all of my friends. I literally couldn’t give a shit about a 6 pack.

Thatsnotmynamee · 03/08/2025 23:29

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:29

steff13 · 03/08/2025 23:25

You said that most of them go on and on about big breasts. But if you haven't talked to them then how are they going on and on? Most of the men that I know I have no idea what they prefer because it's not something that we discuss.

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Men don't talk about these things in front of women (well not most of them anyway). I think culture and porn over the past 50 years or so (Playboy, Page 3, Lads' Mags, nowadays online porn) has kind of shown that big breasts are preferred...I'm assuming here.

Same here - most men I know it's not something we'd ever discuss.

OP posts:
MsDDxx · 03/08/2025 23:29

WhatcakeshalIIbaketoday · 03/08/2025 23:24

I’m an A cup and my boobs are gorgeous, even if I do say so myself. 🤣

I’m 53 and my small boobs are still pert, plump…,sorry too much of an overshare there! X

Mine are a D cup, breastfed for three years and I’m 43. Somehow…they’re still standing 😂

CanOfMangoTango · 03/08/2025 23:28

Think this is a you problem not a man problem.

You feel self conscious about your boobs and you're projecting this insecurity onto people with no basis in fact.

Lots of men like small boobs, lots of men don't care what size they are, lots of men care more about the woman they are attached to than how they look.

Some men do like large boobs, true. But it's not all of them and it's not like the size of boobs isn't immediately obvious when you meet somebody.

MsDDxx · 03/08/2025 23:28

In my experience most men prefer a nice ass over boobs.

There is a thread on the sex board you may want to read - you and the OP sound very similar and you may find it helpful.

Lostworlds · 03/08/2025 23:27

If you don’t want to have sex then fair enough, that’s your choice and no one will question it but you’re just deciding it’s because all men like larger breasts.

I don’t even have pancakes, I have nothing, I’ve always longed for bigger boobs but being in my thirties, I just can’t see it happening now 😂 However, no man has ever said to me that they wish I had bigger boobs. They might have lied to my face but it’s not stopped sex, it’s not put them off, infact most of the men I’ve spoken to have said they prefer the behind than bigger boobs!

Also, I’ve found loads of sexy lingerie which suits smaller breasts perfectly for when I used to feel self conscious about them but I don’t now.

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:27

McGregor33 · 03/08/2025 23:26

My boobs are barely existent, in all honesty I couldn’t care what a man thinks of them! I still have sex& not once has anyone complained they’re too small…. Well not to my face anyway 😂

Do you not worry that they were secretly disappointed? I wouldn't like having sex with a man who wasn't 100% into me.

OP posts:
Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:26

KingstonTown · 03/08/2025 23:20

Don't be ridiculous. Any man worth a relationship will be having sex with a person they care deeply about, not a pair of tits.
I have loved and had sex with my DH fatter and thinner. I am 55 years old and weigh over 15 stone and when he looks at me he still sees the 20 year old I was. He calls me his beautiful girl. Objectively, I am far from it. He likes breasts but if I had to have a mastectomy he would continue to love me, because I am substantially more than my boobs, and so are you.

Oh, of course women (any person) is not just a lump of flesh. That isn't what I meant. I'm not talking about my value as a human being. I'm just talking about being sexy/satisfying to a man.

OP posts:
McGregor33 · 03/08/2025 23:26

My boobs are barely existent, in all honesty I couldn’t care what a man thinks of them! I still have sex& not once has anyone complained they’re too small…. Well not to my face anyway 😂

steff13 · 03/08/2025 23:25

islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:24

I never talk to 19 year olds 😅I don't speak to many men in real life about this, why would they be honest anyway? It'd also be really out of place and not appropriate for most of the men I know.

If you 100% know that your DH likes smaller breasts then good for you 😁

Show quote history

You said that most of them go on and on about big breasts. But if you haven't talked to them then how are they going on and on? Most of the men that I know I have no idea what they prefer because it's not something that we discuss.

WhatcakeshalIIbaketoday · 03/08/2025 23:24

I’m an A cup and my boobs are gorgeous, even if I do say so myself. 🤣

I’m 53 and my small boobs are still pert, plump…,sorry too much of an overshare there! X

Original poster
islaw3048unfln · 03/08/2025 23:24

LIGHTSNACKER · 03/08/2025 23:20

Do you just talk to 19 year olds about this?
My DH prefers smaller boobs and he definitely isn't saying this to make me feel secure as I have other features that he prefers differently to mine as we discuss other people and our preferences from time to time.

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I never talk to 19 year olds 😅I don't speak to many men in real life about this, why would they be honest anyway? It'd also be really out of place and not appropriate for most of the men I know.

If you 100% know that your DH likes smaller breasts then good for you 😁

OP posts:
DrivingMeCrazyy · 03/08/2025 23:23

Not my experience? I bf for years so my boobs were completely off bounds and my ex didn’t care, most men I met were “ass men” anyway!

PInkyStarfish · 03/08/2025 23:23

Imagine a man saying he won’t have sex because he’s got a six inch willy and believes that women only like 10 inch ones so he doesn’t want to have sex or date a woman because she’ll be eyeing up men with bigger willies!

Absolutely ridiculous!