Double booked feel guilty

This

This

my own dm forgot she had agreed to have my ddog for 3 days while we went away
i havent forgotten, it was 20 years ago, but it was sorted out.

if it is so she can work, she will have to use her leave, or find an alternative provision. dont beat yourself up op @TheOpalFox

I think @TheOpalFox is getting a hard time here. She booked a holiday in a bit of a rush (with her phone not charged) and is also someone who is kind enough to look after someone else's kids when she can, and who the friend must really trust.
In your friend's shoes I'd be a bit pissed off immediately as it would cause hassle to try to find an alternative at short notice. I wouldn't fall out with you about it. If it's a pattern of flaky behaviour I'd chalk it up and mentally file you as flaky but if it was a one off I'd just move on continuing to be friends. It's a "one awkward conversation and move on" level drama, not a "you need to cancel your holiday or you're a bad person" level drama. Enjoy your holiday!

I guess it depends on the actual circumstances. If the OP is having friend's children while friend goes shopping, then yeah, maybe holiday wins. If OP is having friend's children while friend moves house, or has an operation, then that would be a commitment that friend is relying on and holiday does not win.

Someone asked the reason above, but the OP didn't clarify.

Maybe I am old school, but if I make a commitment to do something, I don't let the person I've made the commitment to down just because I can't operate technology something better comes along.

A mistake was made, but I wouldn’t be cancelling the holiday or being out of pocket changing the dates for someone else’s child.

Oh dear. Bit of a mess.
What is your friend supposed to be doing over those 2 days, is it an overnighter?
At least you’ve told her and she’s got a couple of weeks to replan.
We booked a last minute break and I hadn’t checked my calendar either, turns out I’d double booked but not a disaster, it was dinner with friends which I have now excused myself from with apologies. Not such a big deal but I also booked something without checking my calendar. I know we’ve got stuff on over various weekends in August and we’d avoided those dates so just thought all was okay.

How well do you function in general OP?

it shouldnt affect your friendship
you made a mistake
you are not a professional childcarer i presume and even if you were, people make mistakes

goodness sake
you made a mistake
can't you sort it without asking advice?
quite bizarre

Really 🤔
I don't know anyone who books something without double checking their calendar first.

Change a holiday so someone else doesn’t have to pay for childcare?

MN is batshit sometimes.

People need to use formal childcare, if they want reliability.

Yes of course it’s going to affect your friendship. You have let her down at quite short notice for the summer holidays, if she was relying on that for childcare she’s pretty screwed. And because you forgot and booked a holiday, such a poor excuse. Can you really not change the holiday for different dates?

Why does the holiday win? It was booked after agreeing to have the children and without checking original plans. It's shitty behaviour to agree to something then change your mind when you get what you perceive to be a better offer.

Really? No, holiday wins.

Does that matter, OP agreed but has now decided she'd rather go on holiday...shitty behaviour

Is it a regular arrangement or was it a one off? I only say that because I went through a phase of having my friend's child several days a week ( overnights too), complicated situation. But when something came up that I'd rather be doing with my own family on one of the days when she had made plans, I had to let her down and I did not feel guilty. This was an arrangement that was in my friend's favour, went without thanks and it was at the detriment of me being able to make my own plans.

She’d already agreed to have the children before booking the holiday though.
Noone would expect her to cancel a pre booked holiday to look after someone else’s kids, but she’d made a commitment and has now let her friend down. It can be really difficult to find childcare in the school holidays, especially last minute. Where I am, all holiday clubs are booked up way in advance with people scrambling for places.

so Did you ‘offer’ because your mate was saying she couldn’t get child care, and you’re a ‘people pleaser’ and offered even though it wasn’t really what you wanted to do? In which case I think it would be easy to forget you had a commitment and booked a holiday, when you didn’t have access to your phone. Also a good lesson for you to learn the importance of saying ‘no’ or keeping quiet and not offering your services (very hard to do if you’ve been brought up to appease and or please)
Anyway, OP, no I wouldn’t lose a friendship over it, because I value my friends and understand we’re human, mistakes happen. If she’s a good friend then it shouldn’t impact your friendship, and quite honestly if she does pull the plug of the friendship then it wasn’t a friendship worth keeping anyway.

What was her reason for asking you to have her children for 2 days op?

Hopefully

How did she react OP?

Its not ideal, but can’t really be helped now.

If it’s a weekend what possible alternative childcare is the friend going to find? I guess whether this affects the friendship going forward depends on what event the friend is potentially missing out on ( and how important that is).

Your question was, are you a bad friend?
Yes and not someone I would remain friends with.

I'd agree with you if the OP had booked her holiday and then her friend had asked her to look after her kids. However, that is not what happened. OP agreed to look after friend's children and then booked a holiday that conflicts with her commitment.

Saying 'no', is totally appropriate and wouldn't make her unreasonable. Saying 'yes' and then backing out with only about two weeks left, does make her unreasonable. Not waiting until she could check her phone to confirm that he was available for the holiday, makes her unreasonable.