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Original poster

To let DD14 drink at home

189 replies

Elizvicky · 03/08/2025 20:34

So lately DD has started to want to go further afield and there have been occasions she has drunk alcohol. She doesn't get drunk drunk bjt I worry about her being out and doing it. Her friends seem to want to go further snd further. Well tonight I felt uneasy about it a few things have happened and I worry about other people.
DD tends to be really honest and said her and her mates were planning to have a drink hence not wanting to stay home.
we agreeed her and her 3 friends could come here listen to music chill in the garden and have 2 glasses of low alcohol lambrini in the garden on the basis all parents knew. This is now happening and they are being great and I asked them to mix with lemonade too bjt can't help but think of done something wrong.

I was 13 and drinking cider and 20/20 and always in trouble being sick or In a vulnerable situation so I'm trying to avoid that whilst allowing a little teenage rebellion. As far as I can see it's legal I just worry I'm gonna have social services turn up now! My neighbour is also an arse so I'm worried he will report!

OP posts:
Panterusblackish · 03/08/2025 20:58

PInkyStarfish · 03/08/2025 20:36

Is this a wind up? No loving and responsible parent would want this for their 14 year old CHILD.

Oh sooooo dramatic. Do no French people love their kids?

I was allowed wine with meals from about 14 at home.

I have one of the healthiest relationships with alcohol of anyone I know. I'm a light drinker, probably averaging one drink a month. If I want it I have it, but I
never need it.

Make something illicit and deprive kids of it and you just make it all the more alluring.

Original poster
Elizvicky · 03/08/2025 20:56

crunchermuncher · 03/08/2025 20:55

Is your response a wind up?

It's low alcohol, watered down, and they are being supervised. She's already been drinking. Telling her to stop is just going to make her sneak out and do it in the park or somewhere else more dangerous than the back garden.

Conversations about safety and sensible limits can still be had.And the mum on here, seeking input from others.

it's not crack! It's a bit much to suggest that the OP is not 'loving and responsible'. 🙄

Show quote history

Thanks this is exactly what I don't want I'm just trying to have a bit of control over it and ensure she is safe. I actually feel completely at odds with this myself
And yes obviously I love her that's why I'm not pretending to be oblivious to it all

OP posts:
SellFridges · 03/08/2025 20:56

It’s fine, most people I know with teens of a similar age would allow this (in fact I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t should their teen ask), and I agree it’s a safer environment than many. I was a bit baffled by the thread yesterday with so much pearl clutching as it’s not my experience at all.

crunchermuncher · 03/08/2025 20:55

PInkyStarfish · 03/08/2025 20:36

Is this a wind up? No loving and responsible parent would want this for their 14 year old CHILD.

Is your response a wind up?

It's low alcohol, watered down, and they are being supervised. She's already been drinking. Telling her to stop is just going to make her sneak out and do it in the park or somewhere else more dangerous than the back garden.

Conversations about safety and sensible limits can still be had.And the mum on here, seeking input from others.

it's not crack! It's a bit much to suggest that the OP is not 'loving and responsible'. 🙄

Original poster
Elizvicky · 03/08/2025 20:54

rosierosierosie · 03/08/2025 20:52

She’s either going to be out drinking tonnes more and putting herself in a vulnerable position, or drinking small amounts under your supervision. I think it’s better than burying your head in the sand.

Take the opportunity to talk to her about how much better it is to have a little and be in control, having soft drinks in between alcoholic drinks, how going overboard actually ruins your night etc, and teach her how to drink responsibly.

I feel like a sap saying this but I'm really trying to choose the less of 2 evils
I know somw of these comments say zero alcohol which is my preference but I know from experience they just lie
equally I don't want her to think this is what we do now

OP posts:
Picklechicken · 03/08/2025 20:52

Noshadowsinthedark · 03/08/2025 20:41

I wouldn’t do it. I think it normalises the drinking and it is harmful to their health.

I would lean towards discussing the risks, health and otherwise, of alcohol. Brutal honesty about it.

I say this as someone who drank awfully as a teen. Nobody had the conversation with me so I continued, I would have appreciated having parents to intervene.

Agree. I ended up alcoholic at 20 because my mum basically let me drink from an early age. It was too normalised.

rosierosierosie · 03/08/2025 20:52

She’s either going to be out drinking tonnes more and putting herself in a vulnerable position, or drinking small amounts under your supervision. I think it’s better than burying your head in the sand.

Take the opportunity to talk to her about how much better it is to have a little and be in control, having soft drinks in between alcoholic drinks, how going overboard actually ruins your night etc, and teach her how to drink responsibly.

AragornsManlyStubble · 03/08/2025 20:42

Personally, I wouldn’t necessarily have an issue. My DD was a glass collector in a local pub at 14 and so had a very healthy idea of acceptable drinking, so she didn’t. Just turned 17 and still has no real interest in alcohol because it wasn’t taboo and she knew she could ask and I’d listen if she wanted to try it.

Noshadowsinthedark · 03/08/2025 20:41

I wouldn’t do it. I think it normalises the drinking and it is harmful to their health.

I would lean towards discussing the risks, health and otherwise, of alcohol. Brutal honesty about it.

I say this as someone who drank awfully as a teen. Nobody had the conversation with me so I continued, I would have appreciated having parents to intervene.

KrisAkabusi · 03/08/2025 20:38

There was a thread yesterday and it was pretty unanimous that it was irresponsible parenting to provide alcohol to a 15 year old.
I think 14 is definitely too young.

KrisAkabusi · 03/08/2025 20:37

There was a thread yesterday and it was pretty unanimous that it was irresponsible parenting to provide alcohol to a 15 year old.
I think 14 is definitely too young.

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 03/08/2025 20:36

Current guidance says zero alcohol for under 18.
Evidence of more likelyhood of alcohol issues later on and bad for developing brains.

Trovindia · 03/08/2025 20:36

I think that keeping her safe and encouraging her to drink low alcohol drinks watered down is a great way to address her drinking at such a young age. My DD is older and doesn't touch alcohol but if she did I think this would be a good way to handle it.

PInkyStarfish · 03/08/2025 20:36

Is this a wind up? No loving and responsible parent would want this for their 14 year old CHILD.