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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset people think we left without paying?

241 replies

ShownOnCCTV · 03/08/2025 19:52

Went for Sunday Lunch - have been to the pub many times before.

15 of us celebrating a birthday - balloon for the birthday girl.

Spent a lot- three courses, plenty of alcohol as well always do - all this is irrelevant but want to put the whole picture - left a 15% tip- service/food/ everything was excellent as always.

Have just been made aware of a FB post, CCTV picture of a couple standing by our table, all of us in full view - with a big post from the owner of the pub saying that these people left without paying please find them

Below this is text saying how hard it is to run a pub without people doing a runner and in this wall of text it says 'the people at the table are not involved '

Cue loads of people saying- 'its a kids 10th birthday it can't be hard to find them'
'scum, who goes for a birthday and doesn't pay'
'great pictures, easy to find then- and a link to my work page'

I have rung up and asked them to take the post down - they refuse
I have asked them to blur our images they refuse.

My son has just had someone ring him asking him why didn't we pay.

I have posted on the page asking them to remove our images and that we have proof we paid but still nothing.

Owner is responding to other posts on the page so must have seen mine. Just saying how hard it is for people to walk without paying (I'm sure it is, but we are booked for next week- 20 people, but I shall now go elsewhere)

AIBU to be so upset about this- so many comments thinking we are thieves.

OP posts:
GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 23:26

Here we go. A recent case involving Dale Vince. Headline and caption found to be libellous even though the story wasn’t.

www.nelsonslaw.co.uk/defamation-based-on-photograph/

Beckywiththegoodnails · 03/08/2025 23:24

It absolutely is libellous….. courts will understand that most people will read only the headline and the picture…. as very clearly evidenced by the fact the vast majority of comments have assumed it’s your party. It’s very clear to the pub as to the misunderstanding that is happening as they can see the comments.
I would be reporting to the ICO for a breach of GDPR and taking legal advice asap.

SprayWhiteDung · 03/08/2025 23:21

Spies · 03/08/2025 23:09

Its misleading though. There is absolutely no need to have included the OP and her family and in doing so she's being targeted by strangers and people she knows. The fact they included one line saying they had paid doesn't detract from the fact her families image is alongside the spiel about people not paying.

Yes, as every ropey advertiser knows, most people just look at a photo and a headline and take on board whatever inplied message you want them to from that.

It doesn't make much difference what actual truths you tell them in the text below, as only a tiny percentage of people will ever actually bother to read it.

People on here telling OP to shout loudly and protest/prove her innocence in the comments underneath the post don't seem to realise that it will make no difference - the few sensible, measured people who would read below have already done so and thus haven't hurled entirely unjustified accusations at OP's group in the first place.

GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 23:20

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:14

what did the pub neglect to do? They specifically say the OP’s party isn’t involved. If thickos don’t read that the court isn’t going to say that makes it libellous.

They neglected to blur, black out or crop out the images of the OP and her family.

people don’t read every word of every bit of content. That’s just not how we read and why newspapers are designed in the way they are. Are you honestly telling me you’ve never glanced at a newspaper story by skimming the headline and first paragraph and moving on?

grlwhowrites · 03/08/2025 23:20

ShownOnCCTV · 03/08/2025 20:50

That's how I feel. So disappointed. We had a lovely time, I just don't understand why they couldn't blur us out.

@verycloakanddaggers I am not even sure the owner is there- I have never met them, it is run by a very capable couple day to day.

@Chonk thanks but hoping this all disappears rather than has more comments.

I think those saying it isn't libel as they have said it isn't us are right- but it is so wrong

I think you still have a case for libel/defamation even though the posters did specify your family wasn’t the one accused of thieving. The parameters are something along the lines of whether what’s been said causes harm to your reputation or lowers it in the estimation of “right-thinking people”.

You can absolutely argue that many “right-thinking people” have been left thinking you’re a thief. Your place of work has been linked which could have professional ramifications. They included images of you in a post about thieves which has led to hundreds of comments from people thinking you’re involved.

Screenshot the post and screenshot any comments identifying you and your place of work. I’d definitely look into making a case.

GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 23:17

It depends on the framing. If it’s a photo and caption saying “these thieving bastards didn’t pay for their meal” that could be a libel. That there’s a clarification in a screed of text doesn’t stop the headline and caption being libellous. Headlines can be libellous even if the content in the story isn’t.

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:17

BufferingAgain · 03/08/2025 23:02

Also you’d have a lot of screenshots to show the image did cause reasonable readers to think the statement applied to you …

Don’t reasonable readers…read?

Frozensun · 03/08/2025 23:16

Take a photo of your receipt and some text that says something to the effect that you are family in the background and not involved and that manager will not respond to you to more clearly state that it was not you. Reply to each post reply with this image! I know it’s work but it should reduce more people responding.

GreenCandleWax · 03/08/2025 23:16

ShownOnCCTV · 03/08/2025 20:21

I wouldn't know where to start.

But this post has been shared, people think it is us, the world is small and the internet is forever.
It could have employment implications for me if people think I'm a thief.

Exactly! That is why libel is so serious. Perhaps get a solicitor to write and demand a rebuttal of the impression they have given, and an apology. Otherwise s/he will start a libel suit on your behalf (no harm in threatening this).

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:16

Touchwood2654 · 03/08/2025 22:45

Sue the bastards. Potentially £75K in it for you! Sadly people don't forget these things, even when you prove your innocence.

Oh not only do you know that it is actionable but you’ve assessed the quantum of damages too?!

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:14

GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 23:11

Because you can commit libel through negligence!

what did the pub neglect to do? They specifically say the OP’s party isn’t involved. If thickos don’t read that the court isn’t going to say that makes it libellous.

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:13

GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 20:38

That’s technically a libel. Letter before action.

Jesus it really really isn’t.

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:12

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 03/08/2025 20:30

The terrible level of reading comprehension demonstrated in this thread just shows the problem the OP is facing!! People are THICK.

The OP is getting ridiculous advice from people who seem to think they know the law (and don’t).

GhostOrchid · 03/08/2025 23:11

Because you can commit libel through negligence!

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:10

GreenCandleWax · 03/08/2025 20:16

Write and threaten them with libel. You don't have to carry through (expensive) but they should take it seriously.

How can it be libel when the pub have specifically said that the party isn’t involved?!

Spies · 03/08/2025 23:09

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:03

The restaurant specifically says they are not involved in the post. I don’t see that a court would overlook that even if people commenting on the post do.

Its misleading though. There is absolutely no need to have included the OP and her family and in doing so she's being targeted by strangers and people she knows. The fact they included one line saying they had paid doesn't detract from the fact her families image is alongside the spiel about people not paying.

Hameth · 03/08/2025 23:08

ThisTicklishFatball · 03/08/2025 22:09

Because of @tothelefttotheleft's post where she mentions:
tothelefttotheleft · Today 21:09
People who keep saying you should sue-
Have any of you got any idea of the cost this would be?! It's madness to suggest this.

I must say that I do agree with her. In my first post, I suggested starting a lawsuit. However, don't proceed if finances are a struggle. Consult a solicitor and ask them to provide a letter threatening a lawsuit if your demands are not met. Keep reaching out to the responsible parties and try to resolve the issues directly by clearly stating what you need them to do. Encourage people you know to report the issue on online platforms as well.

Small claims under £10k costs little

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:08

Batherssss · 03/08/2025 20:13

I would get as many screen shots as you can.
Get a video too.
Contact the police.
Ask to make a statement.
I also would involve any local media in the coming days.
You repeatedly asked them to take it down.
Their behaviour is disgraceful.
Tell the police about the messages you child is now receiving.

What crime do you believe has been committed?

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:06

Secretsquirels · 03/08/2025 20:10

I think that I would post some proof that you have paid (receipt, bank screen shot etc), with a shitty message saying something like:

“I appreciate that it must be very hard for pubs when someone walks out without paying. But our group are loyal customers who have always paid for our meals and have still somehow ended up in this photo online. We have contacted you privately with proof that we paid and you have refused to take down this post so I am now sharing the proof publicly and asking you publicly to take down this photo of myself and our children from this public forum. I will also be cancelling our booking for 20 next week.”

The pub isn’t accusing her party of not paying

SprayWhiteDung · 03/08/2025 23:04

I'd be very tempted to find an article online about some food establishment that has been done by Environmental Health and then make a mini collage with a big photo of the guilty party next to an equally big photo of the pub you went to, with their sign very prominent.

Post it on FB with a massive title saying "Restaurant with filthy kitchen prosecuted by Environmental Health".

Then add two or three dramatic paragraphs about how horrifyingly disgusting it all is, followed by a very brief mention that the other pub, by contrast, does nice, safe food and is totally unconnected to the headline.

Then just wait for the pub to contact you...

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:04

FionnulaTheCooler · 03/08/2025 19:57

I saw a comment on another post recently that said its a breach of GDPR to share images of CCTV where people in the background are identifiable. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know how true this actually is, but it might be worth messaging the restaurant again saying they've breached GDPR and if they don't remove the image immediately I'd be seeking legal action. I'd also trash their ratings by leaving reviews on Google and TripAdvisor detailing how you've been treated, maybe that will get them to take it down.

It isn’t.

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:03

Spies · 03/08/2025 19:55

I'd make the restaurant aware that A family have just successfully sued over a similar incident where they were accused of not paying and slandered online.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgny7epgvpo.amp

Have they said why they won't take it down if you've proof you have paid or is it a case of someone pocketing the money and you have no proof?

ETA - sorry I misread is it the couple who have not paid in which case I suspect you could still have a case as it looks like it's referring to your family?

Edited

The restaurant specifically says they are not involved in the post. I don’t see that a court would overlook that even if people commenting on the post do.

Beaniebobbins · 03/08/2025 23:03

tothelefttotheleft · 03/08/2025 21:09

People who keep saying you should sue-

Have any of you got any idea of the cost this would be?! It's madness to suggest this.

True, a court case would cost eye watering sums of money. However, an hour of advice and a couple of letters may be sufficient to resolve this and costs can be agreed before work is undertaken. This is not my area of law but in my area a letter from a lawyer telling a business owner that there is the potential for legal action is usually enough to stop them doing something they shouldn’t be doing. There is never any harm in asking for advice from a lawyer, but always check what their fees are first!

BufferingAgain · 03/08/2025 23:02

Also you’d have a lot of screenshots to show the image did cause reasonable readers to think the statement applied to you …

SALaw · 03/08/2025 23:01

splothersdog · 03/08/2025 19:54

Send them a message saying you are going to report them for using your child’s image without your consent

Which is against what law specifically?

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