To not order how much time do you spend with your kids

My 5yo has been really good at independent play from young. He can play for hours with trains/ lego/ magnatiles etc. Or he's happy to listen to his yoto for a bit. I didn't understand why others struggled without screentime. Then I had my 3yo, she needs constant attention, 20mins alone play would be her max. Together they can play quite nicely but probably require some intervention every 15-30mins.

I'm a SAHM so fairly used to it though I do sometimes hide in the utility room with a podcast and cup of tea when their dad comes home.

I don't think a 5 and a 3 year old will play on their own for more than a few minutes. We went to the park a lot and interspersed screen time with "doing something". They were often happy to do something like "play dens" where the den was in the lounge, so I didn't need to do more than watch them. And the "restaurants" game didn't need much adult intervention. I'd just ask for bizarre combinations of food and sit and relax while they "made" it.

I think children need to be trained to play on their own- my big one has always been great at entertaining himself but I was a single parent when he was little so many times he had no choice but to entertain himself so I could get jobs done. My 2 year old would follow me around all day if I let him so I frequently tell him he needs to play on his own for a bit, I do set things up for him to play with then leave him to it. He’s definitely getting better but it’s small bursts, the rest of the time he’s my shadow!

I’d go absolutely spare if I was on duty 24/7. Does dad never take them both out and give you peace, or have them at home while you go out?

I work term-time and mine are the same ages as yours. It’s been 5 weeks and I am so touched out by them both just wanting to be RIGHT THERE next to me all.the.time! Add that in with the constant fighting and I know exactly how you’re feeling. The evenings are better when my husband is home, he’ll play with them and I get a bit of a break but it is definitely full on! They’re never this clingy to me when I’ve been at work 😂

This is why God invented iPads.

Blessed be the fruit.

This thread is reassuring, my two are 5 and 7 and so demanding constantly from the minute we wake up to 9pm at night I’m SO drained and frazzled but I thought this was unusual! The only time I get some proper peace (although they will shout for me from the sofa) is if they are watching TV but then I’ve got to find something they will both watch and not fight about. If they are playing nicely together it can go from harmonious to fireworks in seconds. My eldest is firey and youngest still prone to tantrums and not backing down. The trampoline has helped but it’s 50/50 whether they are playing or fighting and arguing. My poor neighbours. My eldest also won’t go outside without me or upstairs / downstairs if I’m not there. I seem to need permission to walk round my own house, it’s madness.(I’m a SAHM so usually get a break from how intense it all is when they are at school but it begins again at 3.15 every day!!)

What about playing ball or riding around on their bikes or sandpit? Maybe something that you do next time each other but independently?

You've never had a week off with your children?
I'd do something interactive they can both play together. Lego, train set, car tracks, marble run. What about some games, snakes and ladders, buckeroo there are so many games you can get. Puzzles or crafts? Water play?

It’s so hard isn’t it? 🥲 mine are almost 8 and one will play video games if I’m in the room so I do get a break from him but then I feel guilty that he’s on a device too much. The other one seems to need constant attention, I will play a game with her for half an hour and then I explain that I need a little break but she constantly asks me to look at her or film her or play with her. It’s relentless to be honest so I tend to take them out but every time we leave the house it costs money!

At that age, I put my dc to bed at 7/7.30pm as normal during the holidays.

Nearly 4 and nearly 7 and they are only just starting to go off and play in another room without me.

I tend to do things with them for a bit and then when I get fed up I say OK I'm going to make dinner/fold the washing/water the garden/whatever. When they were younger I'd have to come back and carry on but now they tend to carry on without me and I can chill a bit more nearby.

Or Chitty Chirty Bang Bang or Mary Poppins. Epics.

The other thing I would do is put on a kid’s show DVD which would run through episodes for about 90 mins. Bliss.

Sound of music is the one you need 😂 (I now know why nanna put it on when we visited with all the cousins).

I found setting up an activity meant I could start them off and walk away to “make a cup of tea”. Eg. Wooden train set all set up.

I'm a teacher so spend all my working life with kids. I also have a 4yo who is with me in every single holiday as she goes to a childminder in term time. She is an only child (not through choice) and sadly, we've really struggled making local friends for her so it can be intense! I am hoping this changes with school starting in September. She is not the kind of child who enjoys any solo activities. She loves imaginative play thanks to Bluey. 😂 I currently look after her from the moment she wakes up between 630-730am until my husband finishes work. I feel guilty that she is clearly feeling a bit lonely and missing the company of children so will send her to her term-time childminder for a few days next week. The fact that we love them to the ends of the earth doesn't mean we don't need some respite at times! Today, my husband and I took it in turns to have some time to ourselves. I took her to soft play in the morning but then went for a solo shopping trip and to a cafe in the afternoon while they went swimming. Is that something you could do to give you some time to yourself? It really helped me. Solidarity to you as it can be hard! X