To think private schools are more about parental ego than children’s education?

I’m not in favor of private schools personally because I am so keen for my DC to be with a mix of children, but I understand the thinking. My point though is about taking them out to swap them back in at sixth form and how I would find it a bit jarring that they were sitting alongside my DC doing same courses and he had had free education all the way…

so what? Isn’t this true of everything that costs money? Like some people suggest people shop in Waitrose for appearances or drive certain cars or wear certain clothes etc etc you seem to think that the social status has a lot of value. Whereas most people the value is the education for their child. I send my kids to a fancy nursery and have a nanny. I feel the reverse of that in terms that I feel a bit nervous telling people this in case they judge me harshly / think I’m wealthier than I am. What does that mean 🤷‍♀️

They only get one childhood, you put them first and give them the best you can even if it means being skint. That’s how I see being a parent anyway.

It was totally not relevant to anything though and made me think she was utterly insufferable.

You have a data set of one upon which you are building your scorn for every single private school. It is not statistically significant.

For all of those who don’t believe private schools are good for SENDs- you are showing ignorance.
Eton etc and super selective schools probably aren’t
Many designated SENDs schools are independent , for children across the board in terms of SENDs.
Many independent schools cater specifically for able kids with SENDs. My son is one of these - at state “might pass some GCSEs, but don’t get your hopes up” At independent on track for 7/8s . all because the classrooms are safe, quiet places.
in our local secondary school, over 25% of kids had at least one exclusion last year. Results are diabolical (well below national average).
I’m lucky to afford private schools, i like my son to have a future.

Perfectly put.

It’s also evident from the many defensive comments on this thread that the OP isn’t entirely wrong.

I don't know whether this comes down to ego or not, but the uncomfortable truth is that peer group (and this includes your child's friends parents as well as the children themselves) is important. What your parents do and what your friends' parents do for a living, and the expectations they all have of their children, feed into your future career expectations and success (or lack thereof). And also how we are perceived ("ticking the right boxes" etc) is still important socially and professionally.

I wouldn't describe it as parents being concerned with "ego" rather than the quality of the education necessarily, but I think what a lot of parents are concerned about is a mixture of social and educational environment and the opportunities available to their children that stem from this environment. And rightly or wrongly some think private education offers more opportunities. It probably depends on the other schooling options available locally whether it's worth the investment.

Though fwiw I think a lot of affluent parents (whether their children are at private or state schools) are failing their kids in terms of a lack of prioritisation of free, undirected play and this is putting children at risk of increased anxiety and mental health issues. So perhaps one area where increased money and resources don't give kids an advantage over their poorer peers.

Ok, so my DC went to Benidorm and yours went to St Lucia, you got rinsed, now they are both in Benidorm doing the same thing. Are you ok with this???? 🤣🤣 You’ll be going to Butlins for the foreseeable because you’re skint having spent 100k getting to the destination I got to for free 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

That is impressive though, bloody hard to get in.

The quality of threads today is top. It is like Sunday drivers but on online forums.

Ha I met a woman at a professional event and she told me within 2 minutes that her son was at Marlborough 😀🙄. It was her whole personality. Tragic.

No. Mostly they exist because of the history of education in the U.K. and because parents value choice, especially the choice to send a child somewhere else if they aren’t thriving in the state sector. Very few private schools offer any cachet.

I’m not in a position to send my children to private school but I would if I could, not because of my ego, but because the state system is broken and I’m worried about the impact on my children’s mental health when they enter it.

It’s like saying why go to St Lucia when you can go to Benidorm on holiday. It’s pretty obvious,

No - it’s about building self confidence, smaller classes/more individual attention, a broader education, extra cultural capital, often better academic results - and at a fancier end, a really useful network.

I’m sure showing off is a nice extra for some people, but I don’t think it’s ever the main dish.

Does it matter what you think anyway?

But the ones that do generally do it really, really well.

Where I am the private schools have an entrance exam. Many SEN kids (Asperger’s) are highly academic, a bit socially awkward and are a magnet for bullies at state school. Private suits them as they aren’t bullied and are properly academically stretched. They suit the private schools as they get straight As. Win win all around.

I don’t know. But a lot of the children who left state primary seem to be coming back to join my DC for state sixth form which makes me wonder what the five years ‘out’ at a cost of 100k was for…

Well you arent being unreasonable to think anything, that’s the beauty of thoughts. The other beauty of them is that they aren’t facts.

if my child hadn’t passed her 11+ she’d have gone to a private school. I’m not sure how that would have helped my ego though. It could do with helping as I dont have much of one to start with. If only I’d known.

Yes, sure, parents don't pay £20k a year for private school because of smaller classes, better behaviour, better pastoral support, better facilities, or academic excellence, it's just so they can show off the name.

This has to be one of the funniest posts I've read, the reason for spending the money is the benefit it provides to our children, very few people find the need to boast about it.

Private schools more than most topics seems to be more about politics of envy.

Yup! She’d do it for the ego boost. No other sane person would!

It was the screeching in corridors and school grounds that my niece found distressing, and the pushing and shoving and occasional punch and kick for simply existing. ND cannot just ride it out.