To make my 15yo pay me back for a phone she broke out of anger?

Context: I have grown children but followed the rules of gentle parenting before my time. My kids have worked out fine.

I absolutely agree that no new phone is bought - she has to pay herself. I would however be careful about "responding to every whinge" with a reminder. I would just give a few shrugs. Give a meaningful "look". Then just not say anything at all. Let her get over herself. If she calms down she might start helping with dinner because she knows she has to win some brownie points.

I'm not sure what I would do if she finds a kind friend who has an old phone that she can borrow indefinitely. Does the wifi password need changing now without letting her know the code - or is that rubbing salt in the wound? I wonder what others think.

No guarantee covers throwing it against the wall. And insurance fraud isn’t the lesson to be taught here.

Firm agree with OP on her line of action.

Exactly. She smashed her phone up and now she regrets doing it. All very sad, but nothing to do with you.

The “social isolation” etc is a direct consequence of her smashing her phone up. Entirely her decision to do that, you didn’t make her do it.

I’d respond to every whinge with “yes it’s a shame you smashed your phone up isn’t it? If only you hadn’t, you’d still have a phone”.

DS had a tantrum aged 7 and unintentionally kicked the toilet roll holder off the wall (obviously the kick was deliberate, but I don’t think he was expecting it to come off the wall). I made him buy another one out of his pocket money, and the iPad went away for a week. He accepted that was a natural consequence, so I’m sure a fifteen year old can.

She’s now stomping around saying she’ll be “cut off from the world” and it’s “social isolation” (🙄).

Oh, well. That sounds like a Her Problem.

I was thinking of the non-smart variety, to be honest. I had one that survived being frozen in a block of ice and being run over by traffic. (Lost it Christmas Eve; found on the 27th or 28th.)

It was still working, but the ringer had expired.

Actions have consequences and that is a valuable lesson to learn. Stick to your guns.

I have a Nokia smartphone. Had it almost six years and it's brilliant. Nokia don't only make brickphones (and wellies!).

Her suffering is the direct consequence of her actions. She uses her own money to replace it, simple.

Destructive behaviour has consequences and yes, buying the item with your own money is one of them.

And talk about options when you mad...go for a walk or a run . Hit a pillow. Scream outside.

Yup.
You can give her options
You buy the cheapest ugliest brick phone for her
Or she buys the one she wants

Tell her if she's a child she doesn't need a phone.

If she's not a child then she should be grown up enough to know that if you smash your phone up the wall, that's on you and you have to replace it.

First off is it under any form of guarantee? Not to say her behaviour at throwing it doesn’t need to be addressed but DD has an awful scatterbrained habit of dropping her phone and the one time it broke it was fixed for her under guarantee (we go through many a screen protector as well!)

You’re doing exactly the right thing.

I'd recommend a second-hand Nokia.

They all say other parents blah blah blah. It’s just manipulation.

Absolutely stick to your guns. As a pp pointed out, she’s solved your TikTok issue too - so for you, where’s the incentive to replace?

The “all my friends” / “you’re the only parent” line gets pulled out of the bag a lot, doesn’t it? I remember doing it to zero effect myself.

So you’re supposed to believe that you’re the only parent who doesn’t immediately replace a phone when your child throws it against a wall? 😂

I’d buy her a bright red brick and let her use that.

“She’s now stomping around saying she’ll be “cut off from the world” and it’s “social isolation”

And whose fault is that? World’s tiniest violin playing here. Actions have consequences, who knew? Not a chance I’d be paying a single penny towards a new one.

Of course you don’t buy her a new smartphone.

If she’s worried about her safety you can buy her a £20 brick one to make calls and texts to you.

But why would you buy her a phone when she thinks breaking them because she’s asked to come off tik tok is acceptable? At least with no smartphone you’ve eradicated that problem too 🤗

This is a lesson she will remember and hopefully learn from. Ive done the same with my then 9 Yr old when he broke something in a temper and he remembers

Totally the right thing to do. If she didn't have the opportunity to make the money to get a new one I might go as far as finding some things she could do to earn it, but it sounds like she can afford it so she can pay for it.

Stick to your guns. She needs to learn the value of things. If she has to pay for it herself you can be sure she wont throw if off the wall again.

100% agree. I have the same rules for my younger children too.

I’d supply a cheapo brick phone from the beginning of the term for basic communication if she didn’t have the funds to buy herself a new one (or didn’t want to use her own money) Smartphones are £££; like f*ck would I be replacing one a teenager broke in anger!