To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

I was a secondary school teacher and very occasionally would take my children to work with me. I'm sure that if you worked in an office situation you would have seen employees taking their children in, during exceptional circumstances. Management can do what they want regarding sitting their child in their office during an inset day or slight illness. Why should your cleaner with, as you acknowledge, a quiet well-behaved daughter sitting on her iPad ruffle you? You have made a mountain out of a molehill, and really do not deserve this woman working for you. You have come across as extremely petty, I hope she reads this and finds a more humane employer.

Did you ask first or just show up with him?

I don't think OP would've had as much of an issue if the cleaner had asked her first. She might've still felt a bit uncomfortable with it but gone along with it if she knew the circumstances such as family childcare had let her down at the last minute and it was just for the summer holidays.

Just rocking up with your child and expecting others to be understanding is going to get some people's backs up.

Sadly not true - It is your business. It’s happening on your property and you are allowing it. You could be sued for negligence if the child gets hurt . . .

Yes. But I also stop for a Coffee midmorning AND have had to take my little son to work occasionally when I worked outside the home when there was noone to look after him. Luckily for me, people were understanding

I have been so surprised at people’s total naivety about the risks of an employed person bringing a child to the house they are working in. They are all living in la la land and if it all goes tits up ( as things sometimes do) I’m sure there will be much hand wringing and bewilderment .
we are not living in some type of ‘it takes a village’ fairytale. People can be mean and litigious. You accept the child of a person you employ onto your property at your own risk. You are liable!

Were you also trying to work at the same time as providing 'elevenses' for children?

Np I have been on mumsnet for 15 years and there absolutely are double standards ,regarding men and women which you are choosing not to see

Why would a 10yo child break things? She hasn't broken anything yet has she?

Cleaners are not high earners in general and frequently work without having legal contracts because employers wont give them. It often seems a lot to pay, but it is not a lot to eran. I cant speak about this specific case, but generally school holidays are a nightmare for working mums. Childcare often eats up everything you earn. I am quite willing to have cleaner's/ gardener's kids in the holidays as long as they behave. Their parents dont usually have any other option or they wouldn't bring them and sadly they are often bored stiff. I've provided "elevenses" more than a few times for kids that couldn't be left alone in the holidays when their parents were working in our home. No biggy and sometimes a pleasure.

The fact that it wasnt part of the original deal has nothing to do with it and I certainly wouldnt like to lose someone who I trust and works well who comes to work in my home because "it wasnt part of the deal" .

Try and put yourself in her shoes and be more understanding.

Are you new to Mumsnet? because I think you’ll find that the double standards you’re insinuating exist here actually don’t! If anything people are harder on women. Also.. why ask a question and then tell the person who answered that they wouldn’t feel like that? How do you know!

YANBU. 100% she should have asked you first if it was ok to bring her, and it is your house, so you can tell her that you don't want her there.

Or if you decide it is ok, then ask her to turn the volume off on the ipad, or make the child use earphones. She should not be inflicting any noise on you.

I am in a professional role, but 10 years ago, I did ocasionally have to take my DD to work with my at various clients. I knew them all well, but still asked permission on the odd occasion when I had no childcare if my mum was sick or on holiday.

They all knew that I was a single parent, with sole care of DD, and limited support and were all happy for her to come and sit quietly in the corner for a couple of hours. She never made a sound, and most clients gave her some sweets or £1 to get some.

Anyone that said no, I said that I completely understood and then rearranged their work to a time when I had childcare. They had to accept that I couldn't go there at the usual time. (I was self employed).

I think that sums it up.

Other posters did and other posters didn't. As I said, it's subjective. Especially online.

I think you're being unreasonable! She's not causing any problems from what you've said. This sounds like you want to be annoyed at it but aren't sure why.

@SouthLondonMum22 you didn’t find the comments ‘particularly’ aggressive.Well many other posters did, it’s throughout the thread.
Strong opinions? Is different to ranting and being verbally aggressive towards women about a child!
Anyway, nothing further to say you.You’ve summed up, what sort of person you are, with all your comments.

If you say so.

It's clearly subjective.

She was way over the top and it was completely unnecessary.

I didn't find pp's comments particularly aggressive. Though women with strong opinions are often called aggressive which was part of pp's point that you seem to be missing.

You are being over dramatic and not very understanding, childcare would cost her more than she would earn at yours probably, she’s sitting there quietly and not causing a nuisance. Have some empathy for the poor woman and be kind.

This makes me think of another situation. My manager had to take an emergency day off work once, and was very upset about it, because her childminder / nanny (? I can't remember) appeared to suddenly take the day off work to accompany her own daughter in childbirth. The nanny had not specifically said she was doing that, but she had talked to my manager a lot about her daughter having a baby. The nanny had just assumed my manager would understand that of course, the nanny would need to take a day off soon to be with her daughter on that day. My manager didn't understand that at all. In fact, my manager said her mum couldn't have cared less that she was in labour all three times my manager did it, and to that day hardly helped my manager at all.

These are cultural things. Not necessarily ethnic or racial, but cultural nonetheless. Think Eastenders - has their ever been an expectant grandmother in that shoud who has not dropped everything to scream 'puuuush!' when her daughter is in labour?! Haaaa.

So, in this case, I think in the cleaner's world this is just ok, in OP's world, it's a no no. I wonder how much collaboration, cooperation etc OP experiences and therefore also receives? I'm not being mean at all by that, just as I think my manager was actually a lovely person in many ways, she just hadn't considered at all that the nanny would want to be at the birth of her grandchild.

All of this.
YABU @Informercera

You’re completely missing the point, this is about aggressive comments and many other posters have said they are over the top, completely unnecessary, quite frankly full of hatred, like why, over a thread about a child!
Yes maybe you are a man too, defending someone who’s aggressive towards women.

Exactly. Broken items as well. It’s all nice and fluffy and bless her until things go wrong but most posters can’t see further than making snacks for the kid and that it’s like The Maid or cultural … really?

That's a bit harsh. 😂
I think the key is asking permission, though.
I also think a good idea at interview/hiring is to state only the cleaner is allowed in your home/on your property for insurance reasons, which is valid.