To be a bit put out with my friend..

It doesn’t sound like she saw the break as a treat and the kids were hard work so she was just glad to get home. Still super rude not to contribute to food or any kind of gesture of thanks. As she’s a good friend I’d chalk it up to the summer holiday blues but equally don’t invite her on holiday again 😊 I hope you enjoyed the last 2 days of your holiday either way.

It does sound like she takes advantage of your good nature. When you said you were buying the food before you left, most people would have mentioned contributing. I again think you need to be more upfront - I'm going to do a supermarket shop for me and my kids - what are you planning on doing?
Or if she said she didn't need to bring anything this is when you should have said 'well what about food for your family?'

By saying they aren't sleeping, do you mean they came for the day?

In which case I'm not sure why she'd offer money for the caravan but she should have contributed to food and activities

Awful mean behaviour.
She sees you as a mug and sadly you behaved like one.
There is a total imbalance in your friendship for the way you both behaved.

You need to work on your self esteem.
You deserve better.

I can understand her not offering to pay for the caravan if it was already booked and paid for.

I dont understand why she didnt pay for her kids activities and half the food.

Some people are selfish. Id curb your generosity in future. It wont be reciprocated

Dontletmedownbruce. You may not offer to pay for food but you'd offer to bring something to a BBQ surely? And Drinks?

OO - is she also on her own? Is money an issue? Does she pay her way normally? Have you been relying on her a lot recently, perhaps she saw this as your treat for those 2am calls?

It is poor behaviour but could be a bit of a blind spot. If someone invites me to their house for dinner or a bbq I wouldn't think I'm supposed to offer to pay for food, maybe that's how she saw it? I'm surprised you paid for the kids activities, I wonder was it something you suggested that she just went along with. She still should have paid something.

If this is unusual I think you need to let it go, you're not BU to feel a bit annoyed though.

I kind of agree with Pinkyflamingo there - I'm bemused as to why you just took on the spending on food and activities? A discussion about who is paying for what is normal.

But why on earth didn't you speak about the cost of food in the first place! You invited her to stay not fund her and her kids food! Let me guess ...you don't like confrontation and are a people pleaser. 🙄

It would be the first and last time she was invited to join

Doesn't sound a "brilliant" friend to me!

Why didn't you share the cost of food and activities? She sounds awful but you could have opened your mouth and said "I got the last shop, you can get get this one" or whatever. Did ypu just meekly pay for everything while she stood by?

She sees ypu as a mug and I very much doubt this is the first time.

Didn't this happen ages ago and you posted about it before?

That would annoy me too. Not even paying for a lunch out to say thanks or even buying your kids an ice cream!! So wrong!

I understand where you are coming from OP.
It seems her expectations differed from what you expected of her.
I know some people who come across as entitled and unappreciative and it is difficult to change that mindset.
In your friend's place, I would have been extremely appreciative and would have bought a load of groceries at the least

In what ways exactly is she otherwise a ‘brilliant’ friend? Because she’s clearly a selfish cf in this instance.

In my long experience, people who are tight with money are tight in every other aspect of life too, practically and emotionally.

I get her not offering to pay towards holiday you said it was ok. She should have definitely paid towards food and activities. She's a cf. Don't be so generous with her in future.

She doesn't sound like a brilliant friend - she sounds like a cheeky fucker! You are at fault too though - why did you buy all the food and pay for activities? I would have just told her to chip in.

Depends on the expectations of the trip and how you offered it to her - 'I have booked a holiday and have room for extra people as part of the cost' or 'I have booked a holiday, would you like to come and split the costs?' As you had already paid for the van she might have assumed on that part that you would be paying the price regardless of her and her kids being there so might have felt that she didn't need to contribute to this part.
I do feel like she was cheeky not contributing to food and activities - how was this organised though? Did you do a shop together? Did you say you were getting food in? Ordering out? This you could have organised better - 'I am going to buy some bits for breakfast and lunch, do you want to stop off and buy some too or are you planning on eating out for all meals?' If you were eating out, just order at the bar your own meals and then let her order hers and her children's.
Same with activities - 'my kids really want to do the craft activity. Would yours want to do it too? It's £5 per child if you want me to book them onto it'.
I think you needed to make things clearer that you were doing things for you and your children and setting out the expectation she could be part of that if she wanted, but she would need to pay.

I couldn’t be friends with someone like that. She sounds selfish and grabby.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar. Unfortunately some people do see it as you "hosting them" for all of it when you invite them somewhere.

This