Relationships - difference in work and pay

So I’ve told you

And you?

3 days a week.

Op do you know what she does on the 3 days she has off when you’re working?

I would hazard a guess that you perhaps work full time, eh?

Do you work @Churchofthegoddamnwild ?

It does sound as if the OP’s partner might be better off with someone who has the same pace of life and understands and shares her wish to favour time and peace over lots of money

so this is why you think this person works two days a week?

but you also say There can be any number of reasons why a person does not have the emotional/physical/mental capacity to work full time

There can be any number of reasons why a person does not have the emotional/physical/mental capacity to work full time.

and the OP doesn’t give even the whiff of this being the case in this scenario, which is what the thread is about

There can be any number of reasons why a person does not have the emotional/physical/mental capacity to work full time. Arguably, it is a sick society that calls fast and immediate judgment on every person that does not have all their weekday hours accounted for. Heaven forbid someone should decide they would rather work less and have less.

This couple’s decision about how to fund a holiday that the OP wanted to take but her partner presumably could not afford is almost a separate point.

It does sound as if the OP’s partner might be better off with someone who has the same pace of life and understands and shares her wish to favour time and peace over lots of money (which is what her life choices amount to - and good for her).

Accepting a single mother paying 100% for a holiday for me, when I work two days a week (and do what for the remaining 5 OP?! Whilst the OP is running a successful business)?

…. Nope, something I’d never do and would be 🤔 if I knew someone who had

The OP said she finds she finds herself paying to do the things she wants to do and enjoy the lifestyle she wants to enjoy. I don’t know these people or their relationship but it seems clear that the partner genuinely can’t afford it because she has different financial circumstances and presumably accepts that. The OP as the higher earner chooses to fund it. She chooses to. Because she still wants to go. People on here are incredibly quick to jump to all sorts of conclusions about a person’s character.

I have and I do.

I would just find the lack of drive/ambition a bit unattractive. Its not really the money, there are careers where you can work hard & climb a few grades and still not be particularly highly paid, but the lack of ambition.

Read the OP and all the posts….

and I suspect you won’t feel quite so “sad” for this person.

This person has accepted a partner of a mere year to pay 100% of their holiday when their partner is a single mother and they only work 2 days a week…. Does that honestly not indicate that this person is a little… off?

The partner can do what the hell they want
if they want to work 2 days a week and have bugger all ambition and live in a house share at 40… go for it

what we are saying is that a successful financially I depend single mother to spend her money on someone like this with very little of it ever being reciprocated is utterly daft on the part of the op

and yes… dragging your child along to your partner of a year’s house share and then to sleep… where? Is “grim”

Not being the OP or her partner, I wasn’t privy to the entire conversation or dynamics around that so don’t feel in a position to pass judgement on that really.

@Churchofthegoddamnwild fair enough, the partner has chosen to work part time and share a house with a friend and escape the daily grind. But do you also think it's OK to let your new partner, a hard working single mother, pay for your holiday?

I don’t remember the OP mentioning a gender. This post feels really sad to me. There this other person is thinking they are connecting with a new partner and being accepted for who they are and, as apologetic as they sound about it, the OP is all the same secretly judging their approach to life, and calculating their assets and, what’s more, everyone on here seems to be in full agreement that all that matters is a person’s mortgage status and career identity.

So what if they share a house with a friend? Seems a sensible arrangement to me. Plus, it’s impossible to rent affordable accommodation as a single person anymore - all of those high flying ambitious people buying investment properties and elevating the prices.

I think this person sounds as if they have a lovely approach to life, not rushing into a 40 hour a week grind in the name of ambition. Some people prioritise other things and maybe that is ok. If they are going to be quietly judged for that, I honestly feel for them. Sounds like a recipe for soul destruction over time.

Well I don't care.

But for reason some posters are taking issue with the fact I'm not joining in with the condemnation of the partner's choice of lifestyle.

Only read the first page but beyond grim to take your child to stay over in a flatshare, wtf???

He, she, them, it

really… who cares?

I can’t imagine accepting a partner of a mere year paying 100% of my holiday when I know that said partner is

a) a single mother of a dependent
b) I only work 2 days a week

it says a great deal about their moral compass

2 days a week
cheap flat share
prob PIP are some such benefit

My comment wasn't directed at OP . It was directed at the poster who questioned how the partner sustained their life style on 2 days working per week.
And is this not a same sex relationship without a " he"?