Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to complain about school book choices!

107 replies

Anon150 · 02/08/2025 23:52

My dd is between year 9 and year 10.
We are not in the UK
She is at an all girls school

So far for English she has read a book about teenage pregnancy which she said was dull, today she tells me the book they are reading next term involves a graphic description of how someone committed suicide.

Youth mental health is a big problem and a huge focus. Where we live it is illegal for the news to give details about the method of suicide.

I am quite cross with the school and want to write and complain that they have exposed the kids to this when really it isn’t allowed, I think for vulnerable youth it’s a really poor decision.

I admit I am traumatised by being made to read a book in school that I still find the contents ‘difficult’ I was talking to my Mother (ex English teacher!) about it today and it literally brought tears to my eyes. However I also think the book choices for dd are poor and dull (English teacher Mother agrees!) I’m conflicted whether I should write and complain or not. I don’t want to be “that” parent but the choices are really poor, they have not been chosen for literary merit. Dd loves school but not English!

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 03/08/2025 10:56

What an absolutely pointless thread.

”I think these books are inappropriate: I’m not going to tell you which ones but I want you to discuss whether I’m being unreasonable or not anyway.”

I’m guessing you don’t actually know the titles of the books, nor have you read them. You just heard ‘teen pregnancy/suicide’ and went all Daily Mail reader.

🙄

ClawsandEffect · 03/08/2025 10:54

Depends on the school system she's in. If she's in International Baccalaureate, it actively encourages educators to introduce students to a wide range of social topics. Think racism, war and conflict, discrimination, gender, religion etc. I've worked in Catholic schools and taught texts designed to expose racism, trans issues, psychological trauma resulting from torture during war. All designed to encourage them to be active global citizens rather than protected and western focused.

So basically, if you disagree with the schools choices, perhaps you should reconsider the school, rather than trying to change it. You do have a choice about where to send her.

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 10:49

You started a thread, complaining about the choice of books.Then you don't say what these books are.

Do you not see the problem?

ShanghaiDiva · 03/08/2025 10:48

Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:45

Ha ha there’s lots of other threads you can join, I’m sure there are book club type ones if you want to discuss books as well.

Show quote history

If you don’t want to share the titles, what’s the point of your post?

Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:45

FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 10:41

I don’t want to give the titles!

What a waste of everyone's time.

Ha ha there’s lots of other threads you can join, I’m sure there are book club type ones if you want to discuss books as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:44

@HoppingPavlova and @echt I do hear you and yes it’s both very obviously avoiding the word, accompanied by mentioning mental health support and I agree it’s usually clunky and obvious and there’s a lot of back patting while everyone wonders around their living room at home, wondering why so many healthy young people are dropping dead with no warning and what illness is causing this, until they all walk around saying ‘oh that’s weird do you think it was suicide?’ ‘It must have been suicide’ ‘what a shame so many young people are choosing suicide’ thereby ensuring the word suicide is said many more times than it would have been if they had just said suicide!.

OP posts:
FenderStrat · 03/08/2025 10:41

I don’t want to give the titles!

What a waste of everyone's time.

Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:37

CurlewKate · 03/08/2025 08:14

No details of the books yet? I can only assume Jude the Obscure and Persuasion.

We’re not in the UK.

I think it would be bold of me to say both Jude and Persuasion were poorly written tokanistic books without a good storyline or character! They have at least stuck around for a while so someone must like them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:35

doglover90 · 03/08/2025 10:30

OP why are you ignoring everyone who is asking what the books are?

Yeah because I don’t want to give the titles!
i don’t want this to become a discussion about ‘oh that’s not that bad’ or ‘oh I liked that book’ or ‘oh you hate the teen pregnancy one because the main character is poor or American or whatever’ my question wasn’t is this a good book or am I unreasonable to complain about X book it’s about whether they should have given them a graphic description of suicide to read over the holidays. I put in the back story about no reporting of mechanisms, etc (they don’t even mention the work suicide) so people could see this might be more shocking.

plus one of the books it’s likely no one would have heard of and would absolutely give away my daughters school so no I won’t be naming them sorry.

OP posts:
pointythings · 03/08/2025 10:32

You really need to tell us the titles of the books if you're going to get a relevant response. I don't know why you're being so coy about it.

doglover90 · 03/08/2025 10:30

OP why are you ignoring everyone who is asking what the books are?

Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:28

BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:30

What does your daughter think about the book depicting suicide? Have you had a discussion with her about what she read?

You can't complain about a book being dull that's just silly, that's only her opinion everyone has a different opinion on what they've read.

Good point. Sadly I am away from home and this was a comment at the end of a call, I need to go back and discuss it with her properly.

my complaint wouldn’t be about it being dull! It would be about them giving the kids a book to read over the holidays with a graphic description of suicide in it, particularly when they are unable to support the kids and it feels like something they shouldn’t be doing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon150 · 03/08/2025 10:22

hi sorry I’m struggling with describing ‘boring’ properly, it was a throw away word, dull, unentertaining. The teen pregnancy one is a modern one, the best way I can describe it is by saying in books like Hatchet, The curious incident, once, then etc it feels like someone has written a novel and things happen, the story has been well crafted and well written with well constructed characters that the reader cares about. The teen pregnancy book feels like someone has sat down to write about teen pregnancy and the purpose of the book is to tick a ‘write about teen pregnancy box’ rather than a well written novel (even if biographical)

It annoyed me the school chose teen pregnancy because it would be considered a generally aspirational school by the kids there and parents in the wider area, I get they want the kids to read about certain subjects but feelings around moving schools, needing to work whilst at school, or some form of displacement would be far more relatable in general. It feels like the school bought into the whole box ticking by insisting they read a poor book rather than put a bit of effort into finding something more appropriate! (Pleased no one has said they should be able to relate to teen pregnancy 😯)

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 03/08/2025 08:37

Until OP says what the books are we cannot say whether they are being unreasonable or not.

Longtalljosie · 03/08/2025 08:19

echt · 03/08/2025 01:53

OP, the "illegal" aspect of reporting suicides in the media sounds like Australia, in which case it's voluntary action by the media, not a matter of law.

Did the school supply a booklist before the school year began? If so, you had an opportunity to read it beforehand. If it's like the English system where texts are provided (are they still?) it's different.

As for the books being "dull", not everything is interesting. Not in life, not in school.

It’s the same in the UK. And well - yes it’s voluntary but the whole industry agrees with it and getting it wrong is seen as very unprofessional. There are guidelines outlined by the Samaritans and you follow them.

CurlewKate · 03/08/2025 08:14

No details of the books yet? I can only assume Jude the Obscure and Persuasion.

sashh · 03/08/2025 06:37

I think them being sent home to read it is the problem.

Subjects like suicide are difficult for parents to discuss, it should be linked to something like a social studies class or the availability of a counsellor.

BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:30

What does your daughter think about the book depicting suicide? Have you had a discussion with her about what she read?

You can't complain about a book being dull that's just silly, that's only her opinion everyone has a different opinion on what they've read.

Iftheressomethingstrange · 03/08/2025 06:27

Name the books!

CurlewKate · 03/08/2025 06:25

Can’t comment without the book titles.

GrammarTeacher · 03/08/2025 06:23

Without knowing the books I can’t say whether you’re unreasonable or not.

echt · 03/08/2025 05:16

HoppingPavlova · 03/08/2025 05:00

@echt OP, the "illegal" aspect of reporting suicides in the media sounds like Australia, in which case it's voluntary action by the media, not a matter of law

Except that’s not really how it is. It’s quite disingenuous really. They have a ‘voluntary code’ which enables them to make it really obvious. They will report that x is dead, sadly missed, blah blah. Then always go in to say ‘police have said there are no suspicious details surrounding the death’ or similar, then will go on to list all the main mental health charities dealing with suicide ‘in case you need support reading this article’, just to make it extra obvious. But then it’s a big pat on the back for not mentioning the S word in the article and being self-censoring. Come on🙄.

I agree. It's very mealy-mouthed while being as clear as they can. I think it's the suppression of the method they prioritise. When my DD was at school there were quite a few teen suicides by jumping in front of trains which were all suppressed though everyone knew, though that's because they were local.

YankSplaining · 03/08/2025 05:06

@TheLivelyViper When I was a kid, I was extensively harassed by classmates. Around that same time, I read a couple different books in which “unpopular” girls killed themselves, which left their tormentors feeling guilty and full of self-hatred. And honestly, the idea of ending my pain and making my classmates feel some of the anguish I was feeling sounded like a pretty good idea.

I think it really depends on how the topic is handled.

HoppingPavlova · 03/08/2025 05:00

@echt OP, the "illegal" aspect of reporting suicides in the media sounds like Australia, in which case it's voluntary action by the media, not a matter of law

Except that’s not really how it is. It’s quite disingenuous really. They have a ‘voluntary code’ which enables them to make it really obvious. They will report that x is dead, sadly missed, blah blah. Then always go in to say ‘police have said there are no suspicious details surrounding the death’ or similar, then will go on to list all the main mental health charities dealing with suicide ‘in case you need support reading this article’, just to make it extra obvious. But then it’s a big pat on the back for not mentioning the S word in the article and being self-censoring. Come on🙄.

Corfumanchu · 03/08/2025 04:52

So is your complaint that the book is too strong for 1
4 year olds, or that it is too boring. These ideas seem to clash!