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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
tara66 · 02/08/2025 23:01

He sounds revolting!

YourWinter · 02/08/2025 22:59

That’s what you think “looking after you” means? How can you let this man stay in your house, abusing you, and your children learning - from you - that rape, control, bullying and threats are actually acceptable?

If your daughter wrote this thread, what would you say?

Get the police involved before there’s no way out.

NimbleDreamer · 02/08/2025 22:58

This reply has been deleted

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Pessismistic · 02/08/2025 22:58

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

Omg please get out asap is it your home or his? He is raping you definitely get the kids away from him. I would not trust him phone the police if you have to he’s a rapist.

DorothyStorm · 02/08/2025 22:55

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

Thank god for that. He is abusive. Get him the fuck away from your children.

and ffs get some counselling. You started the post by saying He looks after me so well and finished the paragraph by describing how he regularly sexually assaults you.

MeganM3 · 02/08/2025 22:55

Is this from another culture? It sounds really really weird. Controlling. Take your kids and get out of there. You’re still young and will find someone who’s a much better fit for you.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/08/2025 22:54

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

Also rape...

I'm so sorry OP... @courtneyk92

Please get away from him. Phone women's aid for help as he's done a number on you moving in...

I'm also worried for your kids. He may be a direct risk to them too.

tripleginandtonic · 02/08/2025 22:54

SeagullFreeZone · 02/08/2025 22:04

Ditch the fucker,

First post nails it. He's not bothered about what you want and feel at all.

Clarabell77 · 02/08/2025 22:53

Starlight7080 · 02/08/2025 22:46

This cant be real.
Why would you have a man like that around your children .

And claim “he looks after me so well”…

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 22:51

SeagullFreeZone · 02/08/2025 22:08

I read your other thread about your Universal Credit compliance interview.
Have you told them he’s moved in?

Jesus Christ. Was that the only thing you could come up with to say to a woman who is being raped?

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 02/08/2025 22:50

This is appalling. Run for the hills.

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2025 22:49

Stealthing is a crime. It’s rape. This happened to me. I wish I’d pursued it. We are now divorced and guess who was left to bring up our child as a lone parent. This man is a controlling freak and you need to get out.

MidnightScroller · 02/08/2025 22:48

Disgusting - I would totally feel unloved and just used as a vessel/baby machine from this behaviour. Very Handmaids Tale - so sorry for you that he’s turned out like this but at least you know now in time to get your life back!

Starlight7080 · 02/08/2025 22:46

This cant be real.
Why would you have a man like that around your children .

Nanny0gg · 02/08/2025 22:44

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

He's moved in with you?

Kick him out.

If he won't go, call the police

MeridaBrave · 02/08/2025 22:40

This is rape. Get an IUD, I would say take the pill but he can tamper with them also.

Emonade · 02/08/2025 22:38

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

He is raping you, you could report it and have him prosecuted

HashtagSadTimes · 02/08/2025 22:35

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

OMG What have I just read.

Get you and your children away from this rapist,.

Smittenkitchen · 02/08/2025 22:34

Keep your children safe from this person and yourself.

Maray1967 · 02/08/2025 22:33

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

This is rape.

If you do not want to report him to the police, please get some support from rape crisis organisations.

Personally I’d record a conversation in which he admits doing it and then take it to the police, but it is your choice to report him or not.

But you should be clear on this - the stealthing and forced anal sex are both rape. He is a rapist.

Dery · 02/08/2025 22:32

You sound vulnerable, OP. This man is vile. He’s raping you repeatedly. He’s a danger to you and your DCs. You can call the police and get them to take him away.

Smallchangebigstep · 02/08/2025 22:31

Did this behaviour start after he moved in with you OP?

How can you say "he looks after you so well" when he is raping you?And hurting you physically?

You need to end this relationship. And report him to the police. He is a dangerous man.

Hankunamatata · 02/08/2025 22:30

Does he stop when you say stop?

Floatingdownriver · 02/08/2025 22:29

YABU to stay in this relationship. Get some therapy.

Hoardasurass · 02/08/2025 22:28

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

He's raping you call the police and get him away from your children