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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 02/08/2025 23:51

I'd also be concerned my children are safe around him.

Though your post about "doing me" doesn't sound like any woman I know and how she would speak.

If this is a sincere post...you re unsafe and I would fear for my children round a man with no morality too

labamba18 · 02/08/2025 23:45

Please report to the police if you can. He is a dangerous rapist.

DinaofCloud9 · 02/08/2025 23:40

You can't actually love this creepy fucker.

ChristPleaseJustStop · 02/08/2025 23:40

Taking the condom off during sex is a crime. Report him. And leave.

WonderfulWoman · 02/08/2025 23:40

What the actual fuck have I read!

Scout2016 · 02/08/2025 23:39

Too much too soon, especially when you have children. Please do leave OP.

Ignore any version of The Script if he trots it out. He's not going to change, he's crying for himself or just faking it, he won't kill himself, whatever bullshit trauma he has in the past isn't an excuse, he isn't only doing this because he loves you so much, it's not your fault, you haven't made him act like this...And any other reason he gives to try to stop you ending the relationship.

If he's moved in with you tell him to move out.

This is toxic for you and will impact in your kids. Just get rid.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/08/2025 23:38

Op I’m so sorry. It sounds like it is your house. The police can help you get him out. You don’t need to tell them about the rape if you don’t want to. You can just say that you need your partner to leave and you are concerned for your safety.

Make a plan. Book a locksmith. Even if it is rented I believe you can change the locks to get a dangerous person out. Also think about what other access you may have given him to your phone or passwords and get all that changed on the same day.

If you both work you could take a day off, pack his stuff in bin bags, put it outside, get the locks changed and text him to say what you have done and that he can collect his stuff. Have a police on stand by and a friend with you if possible.

BUMCHEESE · 02/08/2025 23:38

WrylyAmused · 02/08/2025 22:18

And with the drip feed, 100% leave him, and also consider reporting to the police - non consensual sex of any kind is rape, and you've listed two types already

Edited

This. So sorry, he is so abusive.

Mancity08 · 02/08/2025 23:33

Surely this is a wind up , how could you possibly let someone like this live with you !’

EmeraldShamrock000 · 02/08/2025 23:32

Removing the condom is so fucked up.
Have you told him that you don't want a baby? The communication is miles apart.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/08/2025 23:32

Run.

FloofyKat · 02/08/2025 23:27

Treats you so well?
clearly, he doesn’t.
I’m glad to read you’re planning to leave him!
Please do so safely, and make sure you have lots of support in place.

PoliteEagle · 02/08/2025 23:26

sorry for sounding harsh, but you are an object to him, not a human being. he uses your body for sex without caring whether you want or not and he wants to use your body for procreating. Get rid asap.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 02/08/2025 23:24

@courtneyk92 that is called stealthing and can actually be classed as rape!!!! why are you with someone like that?????

Vaxtable · 02/08/2025 23:20

Just leave asap

UrbanOasis · 02/08/2025 23:17

Horrible. Leave him

JMSA · 02/08/2025 23:14

Umm, you can’t be serious.
You and your children are living with a rapey bastard.
Please get out.

HeyThereDelila · 02/08/2025 23:11

Also you should go to the police.

Ginnygi · 02/08/2025 23:10

This is abuse...

HeyThereDelila · 02/08/2025 23:07

Dump him immediately. Taking the condom off without permission is rape. He’s forcibly trying to get you pregnant. This is abuse and controlling behaviour.

Leave with your children and get out. Now. Do not go back.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/08/2025 23:06

What did you actually mean by ‘treats you so well?’ If you mean financially, then that doesn’t give someone the right to rape you. You don’t owe him that regardless of how he treats you.

eone · 02/08/2025 23:05

Another poster here saying get out.
Start taking contraceptive pill ASAP so he doesn't trap you.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/08/2025 23:04

Oh op - he is absolutely awful.

im so happy you’re leaving him, but PLEASE do some work on yourself before dating again. Freedom program, women’s aid etc.
women with a healthy mindset, which you will have after you’ve ditched this rapist and given yourself some time, would have ditched him when he mentioned having babies far far too soon in your relationship. It’s creepy.

DurinsBane · 02/08/2025 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

And comments like these are the reason a lot of women don’t report rape, they are scared of not being believed

Givenupshopping · 02/08/2025 23:01

You've said you're going to leave him OP, please don't change your mind whatever crap and bullshit he comes out with. This man is dangerous!!