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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
Francestein · 03/08/2025 05:54

Is his name Elon?

ItsNotMeEither · 03/08/2025 05:20

WOW! It's my first LTB! I haven't read the full thread, but your first post had 1000 red flags, and I was ready to say run, but the update at the end of page 1...holy shit!

Do you have somewhere to go? Can you call a crisis line? You need to get yourself and your kids out of there.

Glitchymn1 · 03/08/2025 05:19

since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you"

What did you reply?

Not condoning his behaviour AT ALL but he’s been very clear from the start.

Juststop2025 · 03/08/2025 05:08

You're not actually considering giving into this fucking arsehole, are you?

Wait, he anally rapes you too? Wtf?

Leave. Now. How dare you allow a rapist and abuser access to your children?

Yeah, I fucking bet he "adores" your kids.

Pack your things and go.

Blueberrymuffinsforthewin · 03/08/2025 05:04

Run

JayLalisa · 03/08/2025 03:30

My love, have you tried saying no? Do you know if he gets violent or like he tends to act off? I know what you mean by moody, but does he go farther? In that case it's police. But long story short, it's leave that guy. No matter how well he has treated you, that doesn't add up to the "wanting to have kids" He might force you, and that's not what any of us want. Leave him dear, he's nowhere close to good. Leave him to protect your peace. A little goes ả long way.

Bigcat25 · 03/08/2025 03:13

I'm so sorry op. Hope you can leave him soon.

OrangeRhymesWith · 03/08/2025 03:12

You are being abused.
wanting a baby with you is an attempt to trap you further.
please be smart and safe

MuckFusk · 03/08/2025 03:05

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Right, because rape is so rare, is it? 🙄

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 03/08/2025 03:04

Omg I can't believe wtf I've just read! Of course YANBU what he is doing is rape and he's trying to trap and control you by pressuring, manipulating and now trying to force a pregnancy on you. No offence @courtneyk92 but GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS MAN ASAP! if he's behaving like this now he will only escalate and get worse I wouldn't put it past him to sabotage your contraception.

Also I think you need to get some advice and support to handle this, please don't suffer in silence, contact Rape Crisis or Women's Aid and report him to the police. You poor thing this man is abusive and if he succeeds in getting you pregnant he will think he owns you get away now whilst nothing ties you to him for life.

No one has a right to force a pregnancy on a woman especially some scumbag cunt of a man who isn't the one putting his body through it and making all the lifestyle changes and pregnancy related health issues and is actually raping you to do that. How fucking dare he!

MuckFusk · 03/08/2025 03:03

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

Please do! OMG he is evil. Have you considered making a police report about being repeatedly raped?

MuckFusk · 03/08/2025 03:01

Agree with PP who say this is rape. Get away from this sicko!

YeOldy · 03/08/2025 02:40

If he moved into your house or flat then chuck him out today. If you moved into his house or into a joint place then you need to sort out a way to separate or leave urgently.
He’s a rapist. You could consider reporting him to the police. There are also charities such as Women’s Aid that you could talk to.

You can’t have someone like that around you or your children. I hope you manage to get you universal credit issue sorted too.

This is a lot for anyone to deal with, have you some friends or family you can talk to.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/08/2025 02:05

I started off empathizing with him
And stopped pretty quickly as he's a rapist.

Please ditch him or at least get the coil fitted

MissMoan · 03/08/2025 02:02

@courtneyk92 please leave! This is not ok, but I really hope you will be x

Meadowfinch · 03/08/2025 01:44

That is positively creepy and him taking the condom off without you consenting constitutes rape. His other actions are equally awful. In no way is that a normal relationship.

For goodness sake, tell him you don't want another baby, and end the relationship. He has controlling stalker written all over him. Be ready to run the moment you have ended things.

comoatoupeira · 03/08/2025 00:55

Coastliner · 02/08/2025 22:08

This. Then the bad, controlling behaviour will start. Run! Red flags all over this one.

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This, and I’ve been there
run!

LBFseBrom · 03/08/2025 00:55

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

My goodness, I am speechless.

He is certainly not treating you well. He is controlling and violent.

If you are in your house, kick him out. Get someone to help you if necessary and have the locks changed.

You cannot live with this minster any more, courtney, he's not the man you thought he was. You'll be better off on your own.

Don't delay.

MarxistMags · 03/08/2025 00:53

What is it YOU want? Because that's the most important thing right now. You have to think about it from all angles. Especially if the relationship broke down how would you manage .
Have a good think about it first.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/08/2025 00:50

This creep should not be around your children. 😒

PollyBell · 03/08/2025 00:38

Why are you letting him around your children this is sick

beAsensible1 · 03/08/2025 00:35

Please get away from this terrible creep.

Topsyturvy78 · 03/08/2025 00:34

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

That's rape report him to the police and tell them you want him removed from the house asap. You can't have a sex offender there with your children.

Outside9 · 02/08/2025 23:59

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Bumcake · 02/08/2025 23:54

Oh come on, this is ridiculous.