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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
Glitchymn1 · 03/08/2025 09:26

This reply has been deleted

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SilverpetalShine · 03/08/2025 09:25

Thank you.

YeOldy · 03/08/2025 09:18

Rosieposy89 · 03/08/2025 08:46

This thread is fake.

OPs played the long game if she trolling.

Ignorantandbarefoot · 03/08/2025 09:09

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

Jesus wept. Leave as soon as you can.

Bigfatsunandclouds · 03/08/2025 08:58

I voted YABU because I cannot believe you are still with this man. OP run as fast as you can.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 03/08/2025 08:57

Yuk! Dump him and have some more self respect

JLou08 · 03/08/2025 08:52

I hope this is a made up post. Red flags all over it, I'd hope a mother in her 30s could see what's going on here. If it's genuine call Women's Aid and get on a domestic abuse course (and leave him of course) so you can learn to protect you and your DC from predators.

Epidote · 03/08/2025 08:47

Leave him. One this is a sporadic comment and another what he is doing.

Rosieposy89 · 03/08/2025 08:46

This thread is fake.

Flomingho · 03/08/2025 08:41

Get rid. He sounds dangerous unhinged and controlling. Bet the mother of his children is glad to be rid of him.

SilverpetalShine · 03/08/2025 08:39

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

You need to ask yourself are you willing to be co-erced in this way? Good is good but when there are strings attached it's really just persuasion to accept his will/demand. Perhaps he is insecure and thinks a child will trap you? Not a reason to bring a new life into the world. They are human beings not control mechanisms. It would be a no for me...a big one.

YourWildAmberSloth · 03/08/2025 08:35

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

If you can't leave for yourself, then do it for your kids. He's a rapist, who has no respect for you or your boundaries - is this really what you want your children around? They are at risk, if you don't leave for your sake, do it for theirs.

miraxxx · 03/08/2025 07:44

IcyMint · 02/08/2025 22:07

Taking a condom off during sex is rape. You need to leave.

I dont think anything else has to be said.

NewDogOwner · 03/08/2025 07:42

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. He is a rapist. Get support and end this.

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 03/08/2025 07:42

Please do leave him. You should never, ever feel pressurised into anything you don't want in a good relationship. The assault would finish it off for me.

Zippidydoodah · 03/08/2025 07:23

Yuk. What a horrible, disgusting, abusive piece of shit he is. I’m glad you’ve decided to leave. Good luck with it all.

BellissimoGecko · 03/08/2025 07:18

He is raping you. Taking the condom off is called stealthing, and all the comments about having a baby with you? Love-bonbing.

I’d dump him, block him, and report him to the police. creepy fucker.

Spiderx · 03/08/2025 07:17

Wow...only just read that part . Non consensual sex IS rape and NOT part of a real relationship or what a REAL man does.

Roseblooms7 · 03/08/2025 07:15

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Dita73 · 03/08/2025 07:11

Not buying it

Spiderx · 03/08/2025 07:09

As a man I would say having children has ALWAYS got to be a joint decision but with the decider being the woman as it's her body that does the hard work.

TheyreLikeUsButRichAndThin · 03/08/2025 07:08

He ‘looks after you so well’ yet also rapes you…… needless to say, you can do better ❤️

Chicaontour · 03/08/2025 07:02

You have a rapist around your children. GET OUT . Do it for your children if you can't do it for yourself. Sending you strength. Do not have another baby he's trying to trap you. Your posts are terrifying

autienotnaughty · 03/08/2025 06:53

I hope this is made up but if not you are ina abusive relationship and need to leave.

Cucy · 03/08/2025 06:35

Fucking hell OP move back out asap!
This will only get worse!

Your kids cannot grow up in an abusive house and he is abusive.