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Original poster

Pressured into having a baby by older partner

159 replies

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:03

I've been seeing a 45 year old man, I am a 32 year old female. He looks after me so well. I've been dating him since 2023, and just these last few months gotten serious where we've moved in together. He has 3 grown children, all 20+ (had them young). I have a 8 and 6 year old who he adores. He really wants more kids, since he met me he has said "every single day I vision what our children will look like" , "my dream is to have a baby with you", "are you prepared to give me a baby", " I want lots of babies with you" and just begs me for a baby constantly. to the extent he keeps taking the Condom off.. and purposely ... inside me and I keep taking the morning after pill and its making me so sick. I feel so pressured because he gets moody if I say no :( any advice ?

OP posts:
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ladyofshertonabbas · 04/08/2025 15:12

What am I reading? You need to get out immediately. This is disturbing.

Bananalanacake · 04/08/2025 15:00

Why can't you use another method of contraception like the implant or injection as well as condoms. Though it's more important that you kick him out now, do you own the property?

Hoppinggreen · 04/08/2025 14:02

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

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That is rape
Please get as far away from him as possible

KitsyWitsy · 04/08/2025 14:02

What on earth are you expecting people to advise you to do? Have a baby with your rapist DP and it will probably all work out fine? No. This is another situation of 'any man is better than no man'. It's depressing.

PigletSanders · 04/08/2025 14:00

BusyMum47 · 04/08/2025 10:48

100% this. ⬆️ He's actually abusing you!! Why the hell are you continuing to have sex with him? Why are you allowing him to remove the condom, mid-sex & then continue? 🤷‍♀️

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Why do you think you should be blaming the victim for her rapist stealthing her? I mean, come on.

PigletSanders · 04/08/2025 13:59

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

This and what you originally posted are horrifying different.

I hope to fuck you leave this man. He’s a rapist, a criminal and a frightening predator. Are you vulnerable, OP?

BusyMum47 · 04/08/2025 10:48

SeagullFreeZone · 02/08/2025 22:04

Ditch the fucker,

100% this. ⬆️ He's actually abusing you!! Why the hell are you continuing to have sex with him? Why are you allowing him to remove the condom, mid-sex & then continue? 🤷‍♀️

NimbleDreamer · 04/08/2025 10:16

Finteq · 03/08/2025 13:46

Agree.

You'd think a 32 year old would know when to ditch a partner who treats her this badly without needing to ask mumsnet.

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Me and another poster pointed out yesterday that this post was obviously fake I got a rude reply stating "it's comments like this which cause women to think they won't be believed" or something like that, and our posts got deleted. Looks like everyone else is now cottoning on to the obvious.

Pinty · 03/08/2025 14:03

If this is true then you are obviously in an abusive relationship even though you say he treats you well he doesn't respect you as an individual he sees you as a breeding machine.
Leave him.

KimberleyClark · 03/08/2025 14:01

He’s controlling as fuck. Run.

Laura95167 · 03/08/2025 13:57

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

I think you need to go to the police.

Hes stealthing - removing a condom you agreed to use. That's rape.

Hes forcing a sex act on you, whilst you say no and cry. That's rape.

And anal sex, when you aren't consenting and approaching it appropriately can cause damage, tears, bleeds you could seriously get damaged.

This man is dangerous. Hes a rapist. Please report him to protect yourself, your children, and any other women he meets

Laura95167 · 03/08/2025 13:53

Removing the condom is called stealthing. Its SA.

Its ok he wants kids, its not OK to remove the agreed condom to create one you didnt consent to.

I think you should end it. But I also think maybe get the implant in the mean time

Finteq · 03/08/2025 13:46

Rosieposy89 · 03/08/2025 08:46

This thread is fake.

Agree.

You'd think a 32 year old would know when to ditch a partner who treats her this badly without needing to ask mumsnet.

ELS20 · 03/08/2025 11:14

courtneyk92 · 02/08/2025 22:17

he also keeps doing me anally even when I say no, and cry. I am going to leave him

Show quote history

This is absolutely rape. Please get out of this situation, this man is scary and dangerous.

frecklejuice · 03/08/2025 10:55

SilverpetalShine · 03/08/2025 10:37

It's a fake post apparently.

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That doesn’t surprise me at all, some people are sick.

SilverpetalShine · 03/08/2025 10:37

frecklejuice · 03/08/2025 09:44

I’m glad someone has reported this.

It's a fake post apparently.

Muffsies · 03/08/2025 10:16

"He looks after me" you're a grown woman and mother ffs, he's not looking after you, he's controlling you. This doesn't sound like a healthy partnership.

Toptotoe · 03/08/2025 10:10

My advice - ltb. He is raping you . . . Do not have a child with this man!

TakeMe2Insanity · 03/08/2025 10:06

This isn’t “ treating you so well”. You know this.

frecklejuice · 03/08/2025 09:44

I’m glad someone has reported this.

SquallyShowersLater · 03/08/2025 09:40

It's unusual for a man that age with adult children to genuinely want to start all over again with babies. It is usually something he agrees to do because his partner doesn't have any yet, or desperately wants another one. I think he's perhaps a bit insecure about the relationship with you being so much younger, and he's trying to futureproof the relationship with a baby so it's harder for you to leave.

Just tell him a flat no. Sit him down and tell him straight that there will be no more children for you and if he's that serious about wanting more then he's with the wrong woman. Don't put the discussion off or wait until you are in a situation where you feel pressured or manipulated during sex. In fact stop using condoms if you are serious about not wanting another child. Get a coil or an injection or get sterilised. If he doesn't like it, he can leave you.

User839516 · 03/08/2025 09:39

If this is real - get this creep away from your children - what the fuck?! If you were a single woman I’d feel sorry for you but you’re a mother! You need to grow the fuck up and get this monster away from your poor children, you have no idea what he might be doing to them. He is a terrible human being who you can’t trust and yet you’ve moved him in with your young kids? I swear to God every day on here I think there should be some sort of psych evaluation you have to pass before you’re allowed to have children.

MJ1980 · 03/08/2025 09:37

Omg op, he needs to leave TODAY. Do you have someone, friend / neighbour who can help you remove him? Change the locks

he doesnt treat you well at all. He’s controlling and raping you. Your poor kids caught up in this

SanctusInDistress · 03/08/2025 09:36

IcyMint · 02/08/2025 22:07

Taking a condom off during sex is rape. You need to leave.

This.

UrbanOasis · 03/08/2025 09:36

Leave immediately