WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

What point did the other woman make? OP wasn’t trying to get her dog to say hello to the girl.

Sorry, to be more specific... if they were to kick out at your dog, throw something towards your dog etc. In which case the nicest dog may react aggressively or get hurt.

I choose to avoid putting my dogs in that situation. It isn't hard to train a dog to return to you when others are around. Doing so keeps your dog safer and reduces stress for other people. I can't see a downside, sorry.

You don’t get to dictate that every interaction is a violation.

I do actually. In the same way that I get to say that I don’t want a person touching me in a way I don’t like even if they are just “being friendly”. The dog is an extension of its owner and the owner is responsible for ensuring that it doesn’t bother anyone…and yes that includes interactions you may think of as “minor” - a dog’s wet nose on my white trousers? Gross and now they are dirty. Etc etc

You carry a knife !!!!!! WTAF 😱

That’s not what I said. I avoid spaces that are clearly meant for children to play because I’m not a fan of being around them screaming, just like people who dislike dogs can avoid dog parks or known off-lead areas.

But parks, woodland, and green spaces are shared. They’re not “dog-free zones” by default, just like they’re not child-free. Expecting every public space to cater to your personal preferences isn’t realistic.

It’s not about forcing people out, it’s about accepting that shared spaces mean sharing. That includes dogs, kids, and adults who don’t love either.

I put my dog on a lead and tend to say ‘it’s ok he’s very gentle’. However I also put myself between ddog and child as he can look quite scary to a child.
Thete are so many people that don’t like dogs and many are instilling a fear of dogs in their children. That is doing them a great disservice.
Unfortunately there are far more untrained dogs and idiot owners than there ever has been in the last few years.

I think you were reasonable, the mum was indeed snippy but I guess she’s had previous experiences where a dog was poorly trained and ran up to her child frightening them .
I walk my dog on lead as I feel he isn’t 100% reliable with recall in some situations .
( What works in a controlled environment won’t necessarily work elsewhere with him as he would go after rabbits and wildlife if he got the scent )
In circumstances where I see a child is visibly frightened , I walk as far away as I am able to .
I usually just talk to the dog as I’m doing so .
Where I see a child is interested but a little bit wary , I reassure them that this particular dog is fine to pet and show them how to do it and even show them how to give a treat appropriately.
My dog is a small to medium dog and has a very cute/ handsome appearance so does attract interested children .

OK, but it doesn't say that the other person can do whatever they want in response to the dog, which is what you were saying previously. They still need to act (objectively) reasonably.

Right so you’re saying that because you dislike kids and go to adult-only holiday resorts and stay away from playgrounds, we who dislike dogs shouldn’t be able to go to green spaces so that we can avoid dogs? Avoiding dog-specific spaces makes sense (akin to avoiding playgrounds for someone not keen on children) but avoiding all parks and woodland etc? Sounds fair 🙄

You did the right thing by putting dog on lead and walking with a big space. Very considerate and I wish all dog owners did this around young children. However I bloody hate the “he’s friendly” comment. I had that from a dog owner who hollered it as his massive dog barrelled into and knocked over my 3 year old resulting in a few cuts and bruises and a huge fear of all dogs now. I suspect she’s had similar.

I don't think you did anything wrong, you weee simply being pleasant and had done everything right, you weren't for ing the girl to say hello!

I have two dogs. A neighbours child is terrified of them which is absolutely fine and I will always give him a wide berth or cross the road but if he is playing on the street or in the woods there will always be dogs.

@awaynboilyurheid

How is this hard to understand.

No one’s saying dogs are more important than children. But being more important doesn’t mean dogs don’t matter at all. Public space isn’t a hierarchy, it’s shared. That means everyone, parents and dog owners alike, needs to act responsibly.

I don't like screaming children. So guess what. I don't go walking through playgrounds or try to exercise my right to stand in one. I go to adult only holiday resorts, I don't live near a playground or school, I steer clear of anywhere where it is likely to have screaming kids. Do you see what I am doing... it's called respecting other people's lifestyle choices and not expecting them to adapt to my needs.

Blanket generalised statements that all dogs are a problem or that only children deserve consideration, is just making people look dumb. You're an adult who can exercise free will, has the intelligence (in most cases) to chose where you go and has the ability to roam in more public places than dogs. So I cannot see the logic in walking into a park, or space where dog owners can enjoy, then complaining about it.

Unless I am expecting too much of people.

OP’s dog did neither of those things. If a dog is under control and doing nothing but minding its own business, and someone gets scared nevertheless, how is that the dog owner’s problem?

My dog is friendly, but he’s huge and could and would easily knock a child over since he’s a big, bouncy, overexcitable wally. So I keep him on a lead. Yours is obviously better trained. Not unreasonable to try to reassure her. Sounds like her mum should have been doing that rather than feeding her fear. Yes, she probably has heard it before. No need to be a rude arse though.

Yabu. People who love dogs just don’t get it. Some of us don’t want dogs near us and 99% of the time we get “they’re just being friendly” as an excuse. I don’t care if your dog is friendly, I don’t want it anywhere near me.
I appreciate in this instance you were keeping the dog as far away as possible but we are sick of hearing the “friendly” line as it’s so dismissive of our fear/dislike of dogs.

Your dog is considered dangerously out of control if it: injures someone. makes someone worried that it might injure them.

https://www.gov.uk
Controlling your dog in public: Overview - GOV.U

No species does matter, children are more important than dogs.
Too many dogs off leads roaming about feckless owners miles back shouting oh don’t worry he’s friendly while the dog jumps up on small children . I bent down one time and saw it through their eyes even small dogs look huge when you are 2!

You carry a KNIFE? Because a dog NEARLY attacked your children several times? Well did it or didn't it?

I am a responsible dog owner who would have behaved as the OP did - ie responsibly. I hope I don't meet you and your knife and anxiety in the street though!

I take it that you are perfection personified and don't ever inconvenience any other person?

But from the mother's pov everything was going well until the "he's friendly" line was trotted out. It sounds like the mum was a bit rude but it's wearing when you hear it all the time whether the dog is under control or not. OP has taken this on board, which is great and some pp have suggested some alternative things OP could have said to achieve her desired effect of reassuring the mum that the dog was under control.

There's no need to make this about the sex of the dog walker, either 🙄

You strike me as a bit like a princess as that’s a dramatic take. Dogs are allowed in public, they’re not invisible, and their existence alone isn’t interference. If a dog is off-lead in a no-dog zone, fine..call it out. But if it’s on a lead and under control, that’s reasonable.

You don’t get to dictate that every interaction, no matter how minor, is a violation. A sniff isn’t an assault. And if you’re in a public, dog-friendly space, you’re sharing that space, not owning it.

The real arrogance is assuming public space should cater only to your preferences. Responsible dog owners manage their dogs. The rest is about mutual respect, not one group constantly compromising while the other makes demands.

Everything was going well until the mother snapped that comment. She could have just ignored you. Don't expect for one minute she'd have had the balls to snap that at a male dog walker!

Not unreasonable. You didn’t (well, I don’t think you did from your post) foist your dog onto her, or say that whilst allowing your dog to approach her.

You put a lead on your dog and kept her away from other people, which is the correct thing to do. The mother was completely over the top given you didn’t ask anyone to say hello to the dog.

But that’s the thing - you should be! The dog should always be the thing to be moved. People don’t want to be sniffed, people don’t want to be jumped up at, people don’t want the dog to touch them in any way. You are the person who as brought the dog out so you need to be the person to do the compromising - always and forever.

It really IS that simple. The dog doesn’t matter. There are no situations where having a dog or being a dog gets you put above people and the onus is on you as a dog owner to make sure that your animal does not interfere with anyone at all even if you think the way they are interfering is fine. Other people don’t. All you are doing is demonstrating the entitlement and arrogance of most dog owners

What a weird position to take.

You realise our ancestors were likely ape-like and humans can carry weapons, plus drive killing machines etc. So on the basis of what you’re saying, nobody should trust anyone and we should all be scared.