WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

No you don’t. The dog owner has to ensure their dog doesn’t encroach on the personal space of people who have no disuse to be anywhere near dogs. This is just like saying we have to let transwomen into women’s spaces. No. People have a right not to have YOUR lifestyle choice forced on them - for whatever reason. If you hadn’t have decided to get a dog, that dog wouldn’t exist. It either would still be in a home, have been put down or never bred in the first place. Your decision to get a dog. If someone doesn’t want your dog wagging their tail against their leg or touching them for whatever reason, they have every right to tell you to get it away from them.

Her dog is calm and under control and unconsciously tapping your leg. Move your leg, it's not that hard. That you got in a screaming match over this shows you were being unreasonable. If you don't want anyone touching you at all on busy public transport, how do you cope?

Her dog is calm and under control and unconsciously tapping your leg. Move your leg, it's not that hard. That you got in a screaming match over this shows you were being unreasonable. If you don't want anyone touching you at all on busy public transport, how do you cope?

That was shared public space. You have to take some responsibility. Either you sat there second or she sat there when you were already seated. That would be the point to ask ‘would you mind sitting elsewhere?’ Or ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll just move as I’m not a dog fan.’ At least give the owner the chance to react positively to what is your issue.

Not wait until the dog was sat down in the shared space and wait until it wagged its tail to have an argument.

You were unreasonable.

How did I know BEFORE she sat down that I would have the dogs tail wagging against me? I’m not a mind reader either.
Also I’ve never at any point said it’s unreasonable to have dogs in public spaces, just that it’s unreasonable for owners to allow dogs to go up to people and invade their personal space.

So her sitting on the train with the dog wasn’t unreasonable, but having them in open public spaces is?

The train being busy isn’t the point. The point is if you’d used the words you’re happy to say BEFORE she sat down the situation wouldn’t have happened. She wasn’t a mind reader.

You were unreasonable.

The poster didn’t ask the person to move - she asked them to move the dog - further back, into their lap, whatever. She shouldn’t have to move because some entitled dog owner thinks it is okay for her dog to be flapping its tail against her leg

I wasn’t asking her to move seats, I was asking her to move the dog away enough that I couldn’t feel its tail wagging against me. Not the same thing.
Also it’s impossible to move when there are no seats available.

A dog unintentionally tapping your legs with it's tail is still a you problem. You should have moved if it bothered you, not asking her to move seats on a crowded space because you're so bothered by a dog unintentionally touching you. You sound really entitled that everyone should adjust themselves to your discomfort at all times.

So if you felt another human’s body part continuously slapping against you, you’d be fine with it?!
I didn’t object to the dog being near me, I objected to its tail slapping against my legs.

If you're finding yourself in full blown arguments rather than moving yourself, you're the issue. What you were asking was for that dog owner to move seats as presumably with it being a train the dog was near it's owner. She can't move the dog without leaving and she shouldn't have had to, you should have moved.

What you’ve suggested “should” have happened is pretty much exactly what did happen. I was sat there first. She sat down opposite me (on a crowded rush hour train where everyone scrambles for seats and then it’s standing room only). Her sitting there with a dog is not unreasonable in itself (I’m sure you’ll agree) so I didn’t say anything because there was no reason to do so. When I started feeling the dog’s tail regularly moving against my legs I politely asked if she’d be able to move the dog a bit further away so that it wasn’t touching me, but she thought I shouldn’t have a problem with it.

What you’ve suggested “should” have happened is pretty much exactly what did happen. I was sat there first. She sat down opposite me (on a crowded rush hour train where everyone scrambles for seats and then it’s standing room only). Her sitting there with a dog is not unreasonable in itself (I’m sure you’ll agree) so I didn’t say anything because there was no reason to do so. When I started feeling the dog’s tail regularly moving against my legs I politely asked if she’d be able to move the dog a bit further away so that it wasn’t touching me, but she thought I shouldn’t have a problem with it.

Absolutely dogs should be kept away from people as in they shouldn't be allowed to paw you, be sniffing at you, jumping up at you etc. Being near you as in as near to you as any other person would be, is a ridiculous request. It's then your responsibility to move yourself away. A dog sitting by their owners feet and therefore next to your or near your foot is really a you problem and if you're so anti dog, you should just move. As I said your in a very tiny minority, usually a dog on a train carriage is like a small celebrity with most people wanting to smile at them or say hello. It's very possible for you to avoid dogs, what you want is for people with dogs to avoid you and they would if they could predict how neurotic you are, they just can't tell.

Actually I’m perfectly capable of “using my words” and once got into a full blown argument on a train with a woman who allowed her dog to sit at my feet and I politely asked her to move it because its tail was wagging against my legs. She thought I was unreasonable to object - a mindset typical of many dog owners, I’ve found.
It should be the default for owners not to allow their dogs into other people’s personal space unless the person has clearly indicated they’re ok with it.

That was shared public space. You have to take some responsibility. Either you sat there second or she sat there when you were already seated. That would be the point to ask ‘would you mind sitting elsewhere?’ Or ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll just move as I’m not a dog fan.’ At least give the owner the chance to react positively to what is your issue.

Not wait until the dog was sat down in the shared space and wait until it wagged its tail to have an argument.

You were unreasonable.

This was in response to someone who said they avoid soft play so in the same vein I should avoid spaces with dogs. My point was it’s not possible to avoid spaces with dogs in everyday life (unless you become a recluse) because they’re everywhere. I wasn’t suggesting avoiding leaving the house, I was saying avoiding dogs is the not the same as avoiding soft play.
I’m very capable of asking people to move their dog away from me, and do so regularly. But I shouldn’t have to, the owners should make sure their dogs keep away from people unless they’re showing an interest.

“Yes, clearly the only two options are: 1) ban all dogs from public life, or 2) you become a hermit and never leave the house. No middle ground at all”

this was in response to someone who said they avoid soft play so in the same vein I should avoid spaces with dogs. My point was it’s not possible to avoid spaces with dogs in everyday life (unless you become a recluse) because they’re everywhere.

The examples you gave were walking through town, getting on the train, or being in a cafe or pharmacy - all cases where you just don't stand near said dog? Again, if you're regularly being approached by dogs I doubt this. There's many more interesting things for dogs to sniff than an unfriendly person and you consider dogs just existing in a location to be in your way (I mean the suggestion that you shouldn't leave the house because you're so overwhelmed by dogs being on the high street for example 🤨). Dogs being near your vicinity doesn't mean they're approaching you but again, just use your words to the owner if they are? There's no dibs on a standing or seating place, you don't get to choose who else comes to use that place.

Actually I’m perfectly capable of “using my words” and once got into a full blown argument on a train with a woman who allowed her dog to sit at my feet and I politely asked her to move it because its tail was wagging against my legs. She thought I was unreasonable to object - a mindset typical of many dog owners, I’ve found.
It should be the default for owners not to allow their dogs into other people’s personal space unless the person has clearly indicated they’re ok with it.

Actually I’m perfectly capable of “using my words” and once got into a full blown argument on a train with a woman who allowed her dog to sit at my feet and I politely asked her to move it because its tail was wagging against my legs. She thought I was unreasonable to object - a mindset typical of many dog owners, I’ve found.
It should be the default for owners not to allow their dogs into other people’s personal space unless the person has clearly indicated they’re ok with it.

What all on its own? With no owner to say ‘I’m sorry but would it be possible to move your dog?’

And then going the rest of your day seething that dogs exist in the world and dare to be allowed breathing room?

What a way to live.

Yes, clearly the only two options are: 1) ban all dogs from public life, or 2) you become a hermit and never leave the house. No middle ground at all 🙄

Most people are just asking for mutual respect, not forcing you to pet their dog or share a train seat with it. If a dog is under control and its owner is doing the right thing, maybe the issue isn’t the dog. Maybe it’s how much you want the world to cater to your personal dislikes.

Seriously though, turning everyday life into a crisis because a dog exists nearby and may (OMG) brush past you in a non-threatening way. That’s a bit dramatic and makes you sound like a prat.

What all on its own? With no owner to say ‘I’m sorry but would it be possible to move your dog?’

And then going the rest of your day seething that dogs exist in the world and dare to be allowed breathing room?

What a way to live.