WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

If you won’t speak up for your right not to be touched when it mattered, don’t bitch and whine afterwards

If she had immediately asked the dog owner not to sit next to her you'd be accusing her of resenting the dog for existing.

My daughter isn't a fan of dogs especially any bigger than ankle height. Whenever we approach one I talk her through it, looks he/she is on a lead walking nicely behaving and with it's owner

I hear "don't worry they are friendly" from nearly every owner and it grates on me to be honest. My daughter isn't afraid a dog is unfriendly, she's afraid of a dog invading her personal space doesn't like them getting close to her friendly or otherwise. She's only tiny the size of a 3 yo despite being 5 and even Labrador sized dogs can be quite in her face when walking past. Even with family dogs she doesn't like it when they are "friendly" and bouncy. Once they have calmed down and are less excited about people she will happily throw a ball for the small-medium sized dogs. She can't be in the same room as my sister's large dog though. He's the same height as her and even being "friendly" is intimidating. Imagine is a dog the same height as you started approaching you!

We were doing better until a dog came bouncing around her face after escaping from its garden. No owner, no lead, no collar and it was difficult to get her out of that situation as the dog was trying to follow us and I didn't see which house it had come out of. He wasn't aggressive or threatened he was just trying to be "friendly" but friendly meant in the face of a child that didn't want a dog in its face.

My daughter isn't a fan of dogs especially any bigger than ankle height. Whenever we approach one I talk her through it, looks he/she is on a lead walking nicely behaving and with it's owner

I hear "don't worry they are friendly" from nearly every owner and it grates on me to be honest. My daughter isn't afraid a dog is unfriendly, she's afraid of a dog invading her personal space doesn't like them getting close to her friendly or otherwise. She's only tiny the size of a 3 yo despite being 5 and even Labrador sized dogs can be quite in her face when walking past. Even with family dogs she doesn't like it when they are "friendly" and bouncy. Once they have calmed down and are less excited about people she will happily throw a ball for the small-medium sized dogs. She can't be in the same room as my sister's large dog though. He's the same height as her and even being "friendly" is intimidating. Imagine is a dog the same height as you started approaching you!

We were doing better until a dog came bouncing around her face after escaping from its garden. No owner, no lead, no collar and it was difficult to get her out of that situation as the dog was trying to follow us and I didn't see which house it had come out of. He wasn't aggressive or threatened he was just trying to be "friendly" but friendly meant in the face of a child that didn't want a dog in its face.

I think it was unnecessary for the mum to snap at you, but as someone whose daughter is also incredibly fearful of dogs, it’s a rather useless thing to say. It’s a bit dismissive and suggests her fear is needless. If you want to say anything at all, then I suggest something like ‘thank you for being brave and letting us pass’.

People say ‘don’t worry they’re friendly’ to my daughter ALL the time however, and I don’t snap at them.

Yes I feel entitled for us to all have the right to enjoy a public space and I manage my own niggles by avoiding what I dislike.

Clearly we’ll have to agree to disagree. I’m going to assume with your sense of entitlement that you’re a dog owner.

Well on a moving train I've often had the people next to me repeatedly bumping against me with the movement. Whether it's still or moving is a sensory issue of yours, one which it sounds like you had quite an overreaction to. You'd do better to develop some self awareness of what you can tolerate and manage yourself in situations accordingly rather than expecting people around you to do everything. The fact you think it was better for the dog to be in the aisle (in the way of everyone who needs to walk through) just so it wasn't touching you, shows you're the entitled one.

“If you won’t speak up for your right not to be touched when it mattered, don’t bitch and whine afterwards.”
Do you have reading comprehension problems? I spoke up at the time that the problem occurred.
And whilst I can only move my leg so far because it’s attached to the rest of my body that’s sat on a chair, she had other options for moving her dog, eg into the aisle slightly which she eventually did after much protest.

Everyone accepts that when you’re on a packed tube, train, bus etc you might have to deal with people or their bags touching you. That’s when it’s either brief or still (eg someone’s arm that pressed against you for the entire journey) but when it’s repeated movement akin to someone continuously patting you, that’s unpleasant and entirely different.

sigh and eye roll

You didn’t take responsibility by not saying anything at the point of her trying to sit there when she could then have found somewhere else.

You have recognised that you couldn’t move your leg. So you must be intelligent enough to realise she couldn’t move her dog under the same circumstances.

So you were unreasonable because you left saying anything until it was a hell of a lot harder to rectify the situation.

If you won’t speak up for your right not to be touched when it mattered, don’t bitch and whine afterwards. 🤷‍♀️

Why would a child trust an unknown adult to tell the truth?

They are trained not to.

Think "here is a nice sweet for you". Stranger danger!

Saying anything to the child is not appropriate.

Speak to the adult with them if you have to. Best to be quiet.

If there was no room for you to tilt your leg away there was no room to move the dog. Is your leg bigger than a dog? People and their bags and all sorts are going to touch you on busy public transport. Get a grip or don't take it, but don't make it worse for everyone else just trying to commute on a busy train.

Really? Yet you so gleefully post about kicking dogs who are just running past you and you say yourself you have no read on a dog being able to bite you or not given you can't identify a calm sitting dog with it's tail wagging happily. I don't exactly trust your assessment of a dog "about to attack" if you can't tell when they're absolutely not about to.
Also given you're so paranoid about a random dog attack, it would do you good with your phobia to learn some actual tips for dealing with dogs or because a kick in response to an (unlikely) attack isn't the smartest idea. But as I said before, I hope if you ever do this karma (or the dog) catches you swiftly.

How many times?! I took responsibility by asking them to move the dog away from me enough that I couldn’t feel its tail wagging against me. There was no room to move anywhere. At that point the responsibility lies with the owner to move the dog/turn it around/whatever is necessary. Why is the responsibility not on the dog owner?
Why does the owner’s right to have their dog on a train trump another person’s right not to be touched when they don’t want to be?

I’d only kick a dog if it was attacking me or likely to attack me. What would you do? Wait until it has taken a chunk out of you? Really?

You keep using touch like an intentional touch. A dog pawing, sniffing or climbing up you is touching you in a way you're entitled to speak up about. Anyone on public transport unintentionally against you in a crowded public space is not"touching you" anymore than you're "touching them", and you don't have a right to personal space anymore than anyone else on that train to start throwing orders around of who should move.

I think given you want to kick random dogs that haven't even approached you, you're definitely the violent one we should be worried about. We think you look like a sane person and we can't tell how unhinged you are.
But with the "how am I supposed to know?" Ummm pretty basic dog knowledge? If a dog is sitting or standing under control calmly, unless you approach it there is literally 0% chance it's going to randomly bite you especially as you should be no where near it given you're urges to hurt animals.

If you hadn’t have decided to get a dog, that dog wouldn’t exist. It either would still be in a home, have been put down or never bred in the first place

You sound really bitter. Trust me the majority of society don't want people like you that gleefully fantasize about kicking an innocent animal in public with the rest of us because you're unwilling to deal with whatever deep-seated anger you have that you want to take out on an oblivious innocent being, yet we have to put up with you and unfortunately probably have to sit near you at times. You don't have an invisible barrier around you that you're entitled to maintain on a busy train. You suck it up or you move.

How on earth am I likely to know? It’s like saying genuine transwomen aren’t porn-riddled AGPs so we should let all men who say they are transwomen into women’s spaces. How are we supposed to know that we are safe, other than obviously the owner saying that the dog is ‘friendly’.

Because the person didn’t use their words when they had a chance to take control of the situation or take responsibility for their issue and move themselves.

Well if there was enough room for her to move a whole dog, there was room to shift your leg slightly over, no?

Then where was she meant to put the dog?

The table?

or the luggage rack?

Under control dogs calmly sitting and wagging their tail don't, no.
Again, if you're so afraid of being randomly bitten by a dog, stay away from them

They’re allowed on the train, yes. Why do they have the right to touch a person who doesn’t want to be touched?

If you won’t assign the basics of politeness and decency to the conversation you have no right to expect it back.