WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

I agree, it's meaningless babble. Literally just a noise that comes out of their mouth.

You did nothing wrong, and were responsible putting your dog on a lead to walk past. The mum was rude.

I get so fed up with dog owners saying this OP. I'm a dog lover, grew up with dogs at home. But every time I go to the park next to my mums, there is a huge green space, like a big football field with a park/playground in the corner. There is a sign saying all dogs must be kept on a lead and noone takes any notice. Every evening there are a group of dog walkers that walk en masse with all their dogs off the lead maybe 8 and its only a matter of time before one of them turns and someone gets hurt. Every time I take my 4yo son to the playground, a dog will come bounding over, either jump up at him or try to lick his face followed by an owner who chimes in "he's friendly". I dont care if your dog is friendly I do not want them jumping/licking my son. Dogs can be friendly and then something can spook them and they can bite. It has happened before in the same park. I dont think you did anything wrong and you clearly follow the rules. But I cam understand why the other mum said what she did.

So you think it's unreasonable to be disgusted by creatures that piss and shit copiously in my environment? Ok. I still am.

No matter what you’re scared of, it’s not always rational. Lots of people are scared of spiders and in many parts of the world they can be quite dangerous. In the UK, most spiders are not going to do anything to you. It doesn’t stop you being scared of them though. It doesn’t really help when people tell you there’s nothing to worry about because you know that. What is helpful is someone taking care of the spider.

The first part of what you did was really helpful, and I say this as a dog owner. The second part isn’t helpful no matter what someone is scared of (yes, if you’re a parent to a young child you can try and help them realise whatever it is, isn’t a threat). The fact that the second part is often used by lazy dog owners who can’t control their dogs and let them jump at people. So I can understand why it pissed the mother off.

How sad to have such bitterness towards a sentient being. One that brings a lot of joy to their owners.

Maybe you should get a dog.

People with dogs just don’t understand about being scared of dogs. YABU.

Use this experience to learn something - don’t continue to be stupid about this.

Your choice of the word friendly is what you did wrong. Everyone i know who doesn't feel comfortable around dogs, finds the friendliness to be the issue, not so much the risk of aggression. Friendly dogs come near youa nd want your attention, thay usually what those people really dont want.

You could have reassured by saying 'Don't worry. I will keep her well away from you'

My daughter is scared of all unknown dogs at the moment. It’s sort of a joke where she says how huge even tiny dogs are! The cutest, most harmless looking dog and she’ll be saying how scared she is. No bad experience (it’s my fault for something I said once)

anyway, I would not have a problem with what you said at all. Any reasonable person would deduce you were being kind, coupled with your very thoughtful actions which put it all in context (ie not saying “he’s friendly” while dog is behaving inappropriately) I think the mum was a bit rude honestly. But I don’t know her history, reasons etc

I hate dogs. As do a lot of people. They are disgusting and unhygienic and make my local area revolting in summer - the stench. Dog owners are infuriating because they cannot see all the legitimate reasons to loathe their pet.

My daughter is terrified of dogs. Unfortunately no matter what you say she’s never going to believe you. A pit bull came at her for no reason and ever since she’s terrified. It would have been best walking off and leaving it. It was good of you to call your dog back and put it on a lead. Most of the time people can see that their dog is causing her distress and dont bother stopping the dog from jumping all over her. The old he’s friendly comment and still not calling the dog back.

I’m surprised by the responses. You did nothing wrong, you just reassured her you didn’t push your dog up to her and insist she said hello to your dog. You just provided reassurance to a child that your dog walking past her on a lead is going to be ok.

The mum was rude. My DC is autistic and he is scared of dogs, he gets nervous when he sees them. There have been times if they have barked or started to approach him and he has had a bad meltdown or eloped. I feel very tense when this happens, as well as it being distressing for him he can put himself in danger so I could see how the mum could be on edge. You did nothing wrong though, I would have just smiled at you and said he's scared whilst keeping hold of DC.

You obviously had good intentions OP. Some people (like me) just don’t like dogs and don’t want to engage with them, no matter how much the dog wants it!

Yes, there is one particular dog hating poster who I know is going to show up soon. They always say dogs will be banned soon like they have some sort of insider knowledge.

Mumsnet is not the place to talk about this @Allelbowsandtoes , there are for some reason a lot of people who hate all dogs, even the best behaved ones and seem to take their existence as a personal insult 🙄.

The mum is probably scared herself or they’ve had a bad experience. You did exactly the right thing and were trying to reassure the girl, so just ignore the ratty mum.

I was walking my (very quiet & well behaved) cocker spaniel in a park last Sunday. We were approaching some children who were obviously nervous of dogs, so I did what you did, called my dog to me, put her back on the lead & walked past them giving them a wide berth. I didn't feel it necessary to say anything as I don't know if possibly the children have had a bad experience of dogs.

Equally, I've been in that kind of situation & the parent has asked me if my dog is friendly & could their nervous child say hello. I get my dog to sit & allow the child's parent to encourage them to pet her as the parent knows best how to reassure their child & I want it to be a positive experience.

I think your actual behaviour was fine but a "friendly" dog is the canine equivalent of a "nice guy" so the actual experience for the nervous child was kind of like when a guy walks up to you in a dark alley and tells you he's not a rapist.

Except as a species they have males and females, hence he and she. No need to be rude just because you don’t like dogs.

The best thing for me was when dog owners then stood aside in one place and acknowledged my worry and told me to pass them. It was fine if you said “he’s friendly but I’ll hold him still while you pass”.

This is a perfect way to handle it.

As a runner (and an adult) I have been leapt on more times than I can remrmber by 'friendly' dogs. Yes, they don't bite me and no doubt are being friendly in their way, but I do not wish to interact with them, or have muddy pawprints or saliva on my clothes. Being told they are friendly rubs salt into the wound!

Your disinterested, on lead dog with good recall sounds great. Your comment was unnecessary and probably, unhelpfully, brought back all the times that this was not the case for this family.

Unfortunately responsible dog owners and well trained dogs seem to be in a tiny minority where I live, and I have begun to actively dislike them.

Thank you for recalling and putting on a lead. That was perfect.

I don't like being told a dog is friendly - I don't want to be friends with a dog! "I've got her on a lead" or just ignoring everything is probably my prefered response.

As someone who was terries of dogs as a child but is much better with most dogs now as an adult.

It’s great you recognised her anxiety and responded by using recall and putting the dog on the lead.

The best thing for me was when dog owners then stood aside in one place and acknowledged my worry and told me to pass them. It was fine if you said “he’s friendly but I’ll hold him still while you pass”.

The reason I felt it easier for me to move and not the dog/owner was o had more control over where I passed the dog iyswim?

My fear stemmed from being leapt on my the most softest and playful lab ever - but as a toddler it was terrifying.