WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

I cant believe the votes are 50/50! All op was doing was reassuring the scared child.
If my dd was that shit scared of dogs I simply would not take her to a place where there are dogs!

I had a man scream at my dog and point at me saying we were "disgusting". He was totally freaked out. He tried to talk to a stranger about it, and the other guy just shrugged and said we were doing nothing wrong. It was actually pretty weird.

Yeah @SchnizelVonKrummus responsible ones do find it tiresome. I’d have been rattled actually if someone had snapped at me when I was just doing and saying the right thing in what i assumed was an innocent interaction.
I’ve been screamed at before by a dad who scooped up his child as he saw me and my dog approaching at a distance. ‘Keep your f-ing dog away from my child!’.
My dog was a golden retriever who I’d already recalled because I could see nervous behavior, and was already on a lead. Poor child was far more spooked by her dad than me and my well controlled dog! And so was I to be honest.

Oh, totally agree. But ultimately the problem is that far too many people don't bother to train or control their dogs, and expect everyone else to indulge them and their fur baby. It's unfortunate that decent dog owners find themselves in the cross-fire.

@SchnizelVonKrummthe suggested remark assumed good behaviour by dog and owner. I think, as in the OP’s experience it would still p&ss so e people off.
Sometimes people really do mean remarks kindly, but sometimes some people just don’t want to accept that

Surely it depends on the scenario? In the OP's situation that would be fine as the dog was under control, but if people use "well done for being brave" as a substitute for recalling/controlling their dog do you honestly not see the potential issue?

Personally I see nothing wrong with ‘well done for being brave…’. But I’ll bet my bottom dollar there’ll be people who take as much offense to that as ‘don’t worry he’s friendly’.

Like all dog people you assume that everyone wants to engage with your dog. They don't

Sorry, but that is crap. Many dogs owners just want to be left the fuck alone by other dogs and people.

Completely agree.

Even dog owners get the ‘don’t worry he’s friendly’ as another dog bounds up. Well, mine isn’t. She isn’t aggressive but she hates other dogs sticking their nose up her butt. She tends to ignore people and will look at other dogs but not get very close to them. If I see a nervous person/child or a dog walker with a reactive dog I keep mine well away and do not say anything.
I think you realise now that you just walk on without comment.

Sounds like your intentions were good, execution not so much. When you've heard it so many times from every dog owner you encounter, "don't worry, he's friendly" becomes less about reassurance and more of an empty promise/annoyance that you don't like their dog as much as they do.

Someone earlier in the thread suggested "thank you for letting us pass" or "well done for being brave while we passed" - I love these ideas.

Not true of this dog owner, she wasn’t trying to engage at all, just to reassure. But she chose an unfortunate form of words.

Obviously, not to say that there aren’t any entitled dog owners like you describe.

Like all dog people you assume that everyone wants to engage with your dog. They don't.

Lots of people have been traumatised by off-lead, uncontrollable dogs approaching them
Or by people ignoring clear signs and verbal warnings that their dog does not engage well with other dogs or people
Or by dog owners who have no control over their dogs and wetly go "oh, they're friendly" when they're jumping up, barking, biting, trying to attack your dog

I'm fed up with crap dog owners who think that their dog is friendly (newsflash - the odds are it isnt) & think that saying that makes it ok for them to be off the lead &/or poorly trained.

I think you've had some unnecessarily harsh responses here, OP!

I'm not a dog lover at all and am becoming increasingly irritated by the presence of dogs everywhere in public - particularly those that belong to self-absorbed idiots who think it's acceptable to have them jump up at you (looking at you, moronic young couple in the pub on Saturday night who allowed their 'shit-a-poo', or whatever the hell it was to jump up on my leg whilst I was sitting down minding my own business at a different table).

However, I feel that you've taken an unfair rap for other dog owners who aren't as responsible, refuse to put their animals on a lead and don't have any idea what recall is.

I say this as a parent of a kid who is terrified of dogs because of many unpleasant encounters - I would've appreciated your efforts to reassure and control the situation if it had been my DS.

The dog was on a lead. The mum's annoyance was about the "he's friendly " comment so the point about the lead isn't really relevant here.

It's not unreasonable to expect people to have their dogs under control whether or not they are allowed off the lead. It's an owner's legal duty. (Not that there is anything to suggest that OP's dog was not under control. She did nothing wrong).

The "he's friendly" is very often a cover for an owner's irresponsibly (again, not in this case but it's likely the source of the mother's annoyance).

Apologies if I missed it, but could you clarify whether or not this was an area where dogs are required to be on leads @Allelbowsandtoes? (you did mention "there's always plenty of off lead dogs" but that's not the same thing at all)

Obviously if walking in an area where off lead dogs are allowed you just have to accept that'll be the case and hope owners have theirs properly trained, but in a situation where people have chosen to ignore that they should be on leads it's not unreasonable to wonder whether "Oooo he's friendly" is just a cover for their own irresponsibility

How do you know

But not all are
https://giphy.com/gifs/f0rkrtnLHQnYPCa1pV

I get why the mum might have snapped - I'm scared of dogs, I've had lots of people say to me that their dog is friendly, but it doesn't make me feel any less worried. Also makes me feel a bit like they might be indicating that I'm being a bit of a wimp by being worried around their dog. But I get that you were trying to be friendly.

I’d have said the same (as you OP), it’s just a friendly remark meant to reassure the little girl! Frosty reaction from the mum but then again I raised my children to adore our dogs and animals so I dislike such attitudes, surely can’t help with alleviating a fear.

Sorry, don't think they did anything wrong, was just trying to reassure the girl by talking to her, if they had forced the dog on the girl it would be different.

Can you read?!?

Hahaha! So, people who are scared of dogs (or who just don't want to be near dogs) should only walk on footpaths that go through fields that have herds of cows in them, or flocks of sheep in them? 😂 😂

You are absolutely 100% right as far as I’m concerned. We live in a culture that is dog friendly and they offer so much. If a child is dog phobic a kind gentle supportive response as you did was what was necessary.

Not at all.

Even though that’s obviously the case.

I’d be saying well done for taking responsibility for what is her issue. The dog isn’t against humans. It’s the human that has the issue and humans have apparently evolved enough to communicate it.